Would it be wrong to do some of difficult child's homework for him?

[buddy]

If it was his typing class assignment that would be different, but I am with IC and the others on this. I would type it and add as is always done on my son's papers (scribed by X).

You could do all of it but the conclusion.

I bet this is all over now anyway.... I think I am late to the party, LOL....

what did you decide?

 

[svengandhi]

I scribe for my 2 youngest sons, who are both dyslexic. Neither of them has good typing skills and both are spelling exempt, except on typed work. I type the 10th grader's history assignments for him, his english assignments and I handwrite out his science labs because his scrawl is illegible. For the 7th grader, I type his science textbook homework, social studies homework and handwrite his English. All of their teachers know I do it. They both do well on tests (older one has a scribe for math, science and essays, younger gave up his scribe this year over school's objection) so the school can tell they know the content matter since I am not there doing the tests for them.

Unless the assignment is intended to showcase his typing skills, I would do it.

 

[aeroeng]

I frequently type for my kids. But I do agree with asking the questions: Is the assignment to write or to type?, and Is it a reasonable amount of work? When my oldest was in 3rd grade he had significant spelling issues, and could not spell even simple word. Yet his teacher gave him more and more difficult words as time went on. I asked if he could not get these why did you give him those? She responded that the county required her to give a standard set of word to all kids, and that she was not allowed to deviate from the standard list even though she agreed that he had no chance of learning the list. (no child left behind law - hook a chain to them and drag them, but don't leave them behind).

Thus I believe, it is a hard line to walk. You do want to teach then to be honest and moral. But when the school system becomes completely unreasonable and out of control you also can not feed the child with a disability to the wolves and yes a little help is sometimes the more ethical approach. Although if the issue is that he waited until the last minute, I would let him struggle at least a little.

For reading issues we would ether check out an audio book from the library or read the book to the boys. Thay were still required to read the books themselves, but supplementing their reading with the audio books really helped build up their comprehension. With time this helped improve their comprehension even when no audio book was available.

 

[Californiablonde]

Okay so here's what happened last night: When we got home and I told difficult child he needed to start typing his paper right away after dinner, he freaked. Told me absolutely no way was he going to re do all that work three times. He told me that it would probably be okay to just turn in the written work without typing it. I told him absolutely no way is it okay for him to skip the typing part. I just spoke with the teacher a couple of days ago and confirmed that the assignment must be typed out also.

difficult child already hand wrote the report two times, once as a rough draft and once as a final draft. I really don't think it was necessary to have all the kids write the work twice and then have to type it as well. The whole report was seven paragraphs. That means difficult child had to write out fourteen paragraphs total. Way too much for a fifth grader, in my opinion. Considering that difficult child just learned the keyboard this year and his typing skills aren't the greatest, I really did feel bad for him. It's a lot of work for even a easy child none the less a difficult child so I offered to type it for him. I can type pretty fast so I knew the whole assignment wouldn't take me any longer than a half hour, if that. I got through one paragraph then our computer froze! I couldn't get it to work again so I just quit and told difficult child we would have to type out the rest over the weekend ("we" meaning me.)

Suddenly difficult child starts worrying about the grade. All this time he couldn't care less about the whole darn thing and now he's worried the teacher is not going to accept the late work. Told difficult child sorry, there was nothing I could do. I was not about to stay awake late at night to finish it. My Geodon was already kicking in and I couldn't stay awake any longer and wasn't about to jeopardize a good night's sleep. I emailed the teacher this morning and asked her if it would be okay for "him" to type it all out this weekend and email it to her by Tuesday. So far she has not responded. Maybe she won't accept it late. Maybe he will get a zero. I don't know at this point. All I know is I tried.

 

[JJJ]

Heck, Piglet had a huge history project and she had a week less than everyone else to get it done because she had to turn it in before leaving on her sports trip. You betcha that she sat next to me and dictated and I typed. Our school doesn't take off points for spelling so it didn't matter if I spelled it right when she may not have.

Type the whole thing for him. He did the hard work, this is just busy-ness.

 

[helpangel]

ya know I've gotten into squabbles with the people at my kids schools over the online textbooks, I got a 17yo with anger issues and if she throws the computer it might not be available for R to access her textbook. I had to IEP it that there be a set of textbooks for home and another in the classroom.

Point being how do public schools have a right to demand kids have access to computer and internet access if they don't issue every student a laptop paid for by the district and have free internet available to all?

I know the library but in the real world they are closed when kid remembers they have homework! anyway you tried that's all that mattered... a lot of mom's wouldn't even have cared, remember telling R "I passed 4th grade a long time ago" but R's pout face... I got out the catnip and the lab sheets and the cats enjoyed the experiment LOL We got a B on our report.

 

[donna723]

I don't understand either how public schools can ask students to do work that requires them to have a computer and internet access at home unless the school system provides them! Not every child is fortunate enough to have this at home. In this economy, a lot of families are struggling just to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table. And just because you have it doesn't mean that it will always work. I'm on my fourth modem now and have been without internet access for as long as six days waiting for a new one to come in. The public library is not an answer either. For kids with working parents or who live a distance away or have to ride the bus home, this wouldn't work. In our public library there are always people waiting to use the computers. They have to sign up on a sheet and wait till one is available, then are restricted to one hours use if others are waiting. Not too practical for a child trying to do a long involved homework assignment.

 

[Californiablonde]

Well she still hasn't emailed me back and school is almost out so I don't even know if the typing is necessary. I really don't want to type it all out just to have her tell me, "Sorry, I don't accept late work and now he gets a zero." Hopefully she will write back soon or I can try calling her later on. The last thing I wanna do is type out some huge report on a VERY slow computer on my three day weekend. Oh well, I guess I'll wait and see.

 

[helpangel]

If she gives him a "0" I would make sure for next year I had an IEP accommodation regarding late work written into it. Just looking at his diagnosis's and I believe those might need a visual schedule and any major projects broken into smaller chunks for him. Not sure if you have an IEP or not; if not I would send school written notice he needs one. It puts some of the responsibility for stuff like this back on the school. Also when school is more user friendly kids have less behavioral problems there.

 

[Californiablonde]

He doesn't have an IEP yet. We go next Wednesday to find out if he qualifies or not. I am praying and crossing fingers that he does. He really does need a LOT of intervention, especially going to middle school next year. The work is just going to multiply and get much harder and he really does need some help. We shall see.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Start working on plan B... know who you have to appeal to, etc. Because... he NEEDS that IEP. Whether these people think so or not.

 

[Californiablonde]

Well the teacher just emailed me back and said it's fine to email the report to her by Tuesday. Guess what's on the agenda for me this weekend? Oh joy. At least it shouldn't take me very long.

 

[Malika]

Hey, that's good news! Glad it worked out.

 

[JJJ]

Our public schools require alot of work done on computers and online. Most of our regular ed 2nd graders can use Power Point. BUT they are given plenty of time at school to do the work on the schools computers.

Our district in about 20% low income so there is no way they could require that everyone have a computer at home.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Here, unless they can guarantee sufficient computer time for the SLOWEST students to complete the work, they MUST allow non-computerized presentation... hand-drawn/colored, hand-written/typed.

 

[Kathy813]

I'm going to join donna723 as old school. You said he procrastinated so he should suffer the consequences. It would be a lot better to get a low grade or a zero in fifth grade when it doesn't really count in the big scheme of things and learn a lesson about procrastinaton than wait until high school when the grade would affect his GPA.

Having said that, I know how tempting it is to step in and rescue a child. My husband and I have done that repeatedly and I truly believe that it is one of the reasons my difficult child is like she is today. She always knew we would be there to rescue her and she never had to face the consequences of her actions.

When she was in fifth grade, I would have typed it for her. Knowing what I know now, I would have let her face the teacher without the report and told her to explain to the teacher why she didn't have it typed.

~Kathy

 

[InsaneCdn]

In grade 5, we didn't "type it" for difficult child. The school had us convinced that "all" he needed was to learn to stand on his own two legs. We listened to the "experts". We let him flounder. He learned nothing. They wouldn't hold him back (they don't DO that here), but it was clear that he had checked out, very early in the year. (But they wouldn't admit that to us until the year was done... THEY could handle this, remember?)

And...

All that really got accomplished was to destroy the last tatters of his self worth and any shred of hope left, and we began the long, terrifying descent...

I used to believe in terms like "lazy" and "procrastination".
I used to believe that kids needed to fit in at school, do what they are asked, and deliver on time.
Once upon a time, I would have been in the same camp as Kathy and Donna.

But... hidden disabilities are missed with terrifying regularity. Neither teachers (who are often overworked and have too many students and not enough training to catch the subtlies) nor school support staff (who often don't believe in these subtle hidden disabilities) nor the medical system, see the seriousness. I know, not "all" teachers and schools and medical staff are this way... but in our experience, we've encountered a total of two or three people who saw even a fraction of the problem and actually supported us in getting to the bottom of it all... and only ONE was in the school system. (Once we had all the dxes and recommendations... THEN school decided to offer all sorts of help.)

I've seen too many students "lost".
Struggling by 3rd or 4th grade, and off the deep end one way or another before the end of grade 8.
Substance abuse. High-risk behavior. Suicide.
I've been WAY too close to it. Way too often.

UNLESS a child has clearly had NO academic or developmental issues of any sort prior to about the end of grade 4... we are better off to assume that the child actually has valid reasons for pushing back at some of this stuff and getting to the bottom of the real problems.

Just because CB's child doesn't have the IEP he needs and the right accommodations and interventions, doesn't mean they are not needed, and badly need, right NOW.

And what she is really doing is providing an accomodation that should have been in place anyway.

I know. I'm not a teacher. I get that thrown at me all the time from the school system.
But I've been right every single time on the teachers and approaches that have been highly destructive to a student with un-diagnosed hidden disabilities.

CB: Go with your Mommy gut. Only YOU know the whole story.

 

[Californiablonde]

Thank you!!! I am going with my mommy gut and I know for a FACT that having difficult child type up this whole damn report would be a great hardship for him. He already had to write out this whole process twice! Now I'm not a difficult child and I was damn near a straight A student in high school. It was hard for even ME to handwrite fourteen damn paragraphs. Hell writing firsthand is hard for all of us, isn't it? I hate handwriting. Typing on the computer is easy compared to. I am proud that my difficult child son hand wrote his report TWICE. That's a hard thing to do, by anyone's standards. I am damn proud of him, being a difficult child who has a hard time hand writing. He did it! Mission accomplished in my opinion. I have absolutely no qualms about typing this **** out for him at all. He did the reading. He did the research. He hand wrote the damn thing twice. I am more than happy typing it out for him. He did the biggest part. My part is just icing on the cake...

 

[confuzzled]

i think too that with all the "mandated assignments" something was lost in translation that developmentally, some things are beyond the scope of the grade level....and teachers are kind of "stuck" assigning things that are completely unappropriate.

i'm in the camp that honestly, that is a massive assignment for an 11 year old...all of them, not just a difficult child.

we had a similar situation with a college level assignment in the 7th grade--i complained to the school and demanded mods be made (mine does have an IEP so it was different). like you, i think *I* was more overwhelmed than difficult child herself. the teacher was very nice and did admit it was beyond the scope of her entire class, not just mine. we went to the district head of the dept and asked what we could do to modify it and by the time it was all said and done, the actual assigment (for everyone) looked nothing like the original one--it was much more reasonable.

i was glad i spoke up.

but my point is, i do think sometimes teachers lose sight of what the actual capabilities of students are....which is why i said earlier, i wouldnt have thought twice about typing since the work was done.

hope it all goes fast for you....what a lousy thing to have to do on a holiday weekend!

 

[Wiped Out]

As a 4th and 5th grade teacher I have a problem requiring it to be typed. For one, as Donna said some students do not have the access to a computer. Also our standards for 5th graders typing is 10 wpm. I have had kids whose parents have typed their papers. As long as they are not editing I don't have a problem. However, I have had parents do the edit part which makes it difficult for me to evaluate how the child is doing.

On projects that I prefer typed I will give extra time for kids to type at school and I offer bonus points.