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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 319782" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>Hmmm, wow. Okay. So here's where my mind went reading this.</p><p></p><p>We hear of so many sad lost kids doing awful things (killing a grandmother would qualify!) and then we hear their lives and their pain and our heartstrings pull. However, so many kids have pain and don't kill their loved ones! </p><p></p><p>While I do hope this boy gets much help and support and can go on to live a life of some quality (and crime free!!!!!!!!) I think for me, I'd leave this to the professionals.</p><p></p><p>Having a difficult child is hard enough without having them in deep with someone who at 14, killed their grandmother. If this had been a person who tormented, tortured, abused the boy? And he fought back and it ended in death? I might feel different. But from sounds of it, this grandmother was not wanting him dating at 14? And now she's dead? I don't want my kids dating at 14. And I dont' expect to be dead for it either.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad your difficult child has a friend while he's incarcerated. At the same time, I can't imagine it being a smart move for your difficult child, on the outside and hopefully building a new solid and good futured life for himself, to have a friend who he stays involved with who has this history. What about when this child is released? And difficult child is his only friend? A place at the family dinner table? A roommate for difficult child? So many risks.</p><p></p><p>I just can't see it being worth the risk to difficult child for this to continue. Perhaps a well written letter upon his release (no return address) thanking him for being a friend while they were locked up together. Perhaps saying he wishes this guy well and hopes that he goes on to live a good, normal, healthy and productive life. Other than that, I'd be leaving this to the professionals to help this young person find their way. This just screams BIG RISK to me, in terms of our own difficult child's. </p><p></p><p>(I would be saying this about someone locked up with my own kid for say: burglary, assault, car theft, drugs etc. I mean, do we WANT our kids to befriend difficult child's with criminal tendencies? nope. And for me, its my mind that we concern ourselves with our difficult child's finding healthy relationships. And super risky ones, for our difficult child's, just rank up there with me as ones I would want to support.)</p><p></p><p>At the same time, I do hope this young man gets help and can do something productive with his life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 319782, member: 4264"] Hmmm, wow. Okay. So here's where my mind went reading this. We hear of so many sad lost kids doing awful things (killing a grandmother would qualify!) and then we hear their lives and their pain and our heartstrings pull. However, so many kids have pain and don't kill their loved ones! While I do hope this boy gets much help and support and can go on to live a life of some quality (and crime free!!!!!!!!) I think for me, I'd leave this to the professionals. Having a difficult child is hard enough without having them in deep with someone who at 14, killed their grandmother. If this had been a person who tormented, tortured, abused the boy? And he fought back and it ended in death? I might feel different. But from sounds of it, this grandmother was not wanting him dating at 14? And now she's dead? I don't want my kids dating at 14. And I dont' expect to be dead for it either. I'm glad your difficult child has a friend while he's incarcerated. At the same time, I can't imagine it being a smart move for your difficult child, on the outside and hopefully building a new solid and good futured life for himself, to have a friend who he stays involved with who has this history. What about when this child is released? And difficult child is his only friend? A place at the family dinner table? A roommate for difficult child? So many risks. I just can't see it being worth the risk to difficult child for this to continue. Perhaps a well written letter upon his release (no return address) thanking him for being a friend while they were locked up together. Perhaps saying he wishes this guy well and hopes that he goes on to live a good, normal, healthy and productive life. Other than that, I'd be leaving this to the professionals to help this young person find their way. This just screams BIG RISK to me, in terms of our own difficult child's. (I would be saying this about someone locked up with my own kid for say: burglary, assault, car theft, drugs etc. I mean, do we WANT our kids to befriend difficult child's with criminal tendencies? nope. And for me, its my mind that we concern ourselves with our difficult child's finding healthy relationships. And super risky ones, for our difficult child's, just rank up there with me as ones I would want to support.) At the same time, I do hope this young man gets help and can do something productive with his life. [/QUOTE]
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