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Would you give difficult child a photo?
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 325809" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>difficult child's and my situation are similar to Janet's and Billy's. My son is not adopted. I found out after getting pregnant by him that he was in legal trouble for not paying CS on his first child- big trouble. Anyway, he refused to acknowkedge difficult child in any way because of the CS issue. The first child (by a different mother) is grown now.</p><p></p><p>DF- in theory the law/DSS goes after dead-beat dad's. In reality, it is not that hard for them to go right on with their lives and never get caught- even when they know exactly where he lives. It gets stickier when when the dead-beat dad is out of state. Do you know that until this past year, if the parents had not been married and lived together in this state, they would not go after a father in a different state AT ALL and that was the law?</p><p></p><p>There's no "detective" work here. I stuck his name in the search box on facebook. He had a page that popped up with a photo on it. Yep, I admit, I created a fake one and sent him a message. And I copied his photo off his page. If he responds to my message, I will send him a photo of his son and let him know who I really am. I doubt he will respond though- most of us wouldn't if we didn't recognize the name and I just pulled one out of the hat. And yes- he does know difficult child exists.</p><p></p><p>difficult child has always asked questions about him and told me he wants to find him someday. I will not encoutage that because I think difficult child will get his heart broken. But, this past year difficult child has told me that it doesn't matter whether or not his father would want a relationship with him in the future, he just wants to face him and "see if he has anything to say for himself". I won't go into detail but I can promise you- the man is not in any way a vicitm in this situation.</p><p></p><p>difficult child has asked what he looks like before and other things about him. Anyway, if it was me, I would want to know what my bio-parent looked like, too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 325809, member: 3699"] difficult child's and my situation are similar to Janet's and Billy's. My son is not adopted. I found out after getting pregnant by him that he was in legal trouble for not paying CS on his first child- big trouble. Anyway, he refused to acknowkedge difficult child in any way because of the CS issue. The first child (by a different mother) is grown now. DF- in theory the law/DSS goes after dead-beat dad's. In reality, it is not that hard for them to go right on with their lives and never get caught- even when they know exactly where he lives. It gets stickier when when the dead-beat dad is out of state. Do you know that until this past year, if the parents had not been married and lived together in this state, they would not go after a father in a different state AT ALL and that was the law? There's no "detective" work here. I stuck his name in the search box on facebook. He had a page that popped up with a photo on it. Yep, I admit, I created a fake one and sent him a message. And I copied his photo off his page. If he responds to my message, I will send him a photo of his son and let him know who I really am. I doubt he will respond though- most of us wouldn't if we didn't recognize the name and I just pulled one out of the hat. And yes- he does know difficult child exists. difficult child has always asked questions about him and told me he wants to find him someday. I will not encoutage that because I think difficult child will get his heart broken. But, this past year difficult child has told me that it doesn't matter whether or not his father would want a relationship with him in the future, he just wants to face him and "see if he has anything to say for himself". I won't go into detail but I can promise you- the man is not in any way a vicitm in this situation. difficult child has asked what he looks like before and other things about him. Anyway, if it was me, I would want to know what my bio-parent looked like, too. [/QUOTE]
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