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Would you give difficult child a photo?
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 325863" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>difficult child was given basic info - like name, location, age, description of what he looked like, etc, over time as he asked per the psychiatric's suggestion. I don't know what you mean by giving him the man. I've been told by all the profs that difficult child has a right to know things about his father and I agree with that. difficult child spent from 11yo to 14 yo being very hurt about it all and blaming himself, in spite of me trying to console him and explain otherwise, so it's just been this past year that he has shown anger and that has surfaced as he has started holding his father accountable in his own mind instead of blaming himself for it all (difficult child thought his father "rejected him because something was wrong with him or he was bad"), so I do think it's a healthy sign, as long as he works thru it and is able to move on to the acceptance stage. He spent 3 years in the first phase so this might not move too quickly, but I don't stew on it with him when he brings the subject up and try to help him move past it. I've asked his current therapist to try to help but again, she says she can't help him if he's not ready to deal with it. difficult child tells me it's too painful to discuss with a therapist. I think his insight into it being more painful than anything will help him move thru the stages so it doesn't ruin his life- if he can stay out of legal trouble.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 325863, member: 3699"] difficult child was given basic info - like name, location, age, description of what he looked like, etc, over time as he asked per the psychiatric's suggestion. I don't know what you mean by giving him the man. I've been told by all the profs that difficult child has a right to know things about his father and I agree with that. difficult child spent from 11yo to 14 yo being very hurt about it all and blaming himself, in spite of me trying to console him and explain otherwise, so it's just been this past year that he has shown anger and that has surfaced as he has started holding his father accountable in his own mind instead of blaming himself for it all (difficult child thought his father "rejected him because something was wrong with him or he was bad"), so I do think it's a healthy sign, as long as he works thru it and is able to move on to the acceptance stage. He spent 3 years in the first phase so this might not move too quickly, but I don't stew on it with him when he brings the subject up and try to help him move past it. I've asked his current therapist to try to help but again, she says she can't help him if he's not ready to deal with it. difficult child tells me it's too painful to discuss with a therapist. I think his insight into it being more painful than anything will help him move thru the stages so it doesn't ruin his life- if he can stay out of legal trouble. [/QUOTE]
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