Wow It's been so long

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by tpcmom, Aug 7, 2008.

  1. tpcmom

    tpcmom New Member

    I'm so sorry I haven't been around but my life is just not the same anymore. But I always think of you all and sometimes pop in and out just to check in on you all. I hope everyone doing their best to hang in there. Well Timmy's one year anniversary passed of his murder, still no one has been arrested. There are things in the works, but I'm not allowed to say anything, but just praying that one day this person(s) will get caught and be punished for taking a wonderul little kid's life, and another young man also. But I've done most of the reward raising, the other guys family doesn't do anything, no reward for him. I guess the figure when they catch Timmy's they catch his, plus their lifestyle is different, I'm assuming they are used to this kind of tragedy happeing in their lives. One that i can and never will understand. Changed my life forever, and I know I'll never be the same. but with all the hard work of many we were able to raise it to $11,000 reward. I've been able to keep him in the papers as much as I can to keep his face and name out there so he doesn't become another statistic. Please keep him in your prayers that he gets justice, he deserves.

    My oldest is doing ok, he has 2 months to go then he goes to a program which can be for 3-9 months. We are hoping he does well and it's more to the 3 months. he is doing better for the most part, still has his days of sadness and despair. but he is working there and enjoys what he is doing so it's helping the time go by faster.

    My middle guy is doing pretty good, he doesn't show much emotion, but if who remembers he was always my "easy going kid". He has went to some college classes and is now thinking of joining the National Guard. Something he has wanted to do since he was like 14 y/o.

    As for me, I'm hanging by a thread just praying to get by each day. I've lost a ton of weight and am always so tired. My b/f of like 9 years who hasn't really been there for me much anyway, has yet again done a disappearing act. I gave up on him. You never realize how many people in your life, change or disappear when you are faced with this kind of tragedy. And those that you thought wouldn't, are the ones who are!

    So I just wanted to update my friends here and apologize for not being around. I do poke in and out just to keep up on each of you and remember how I'd come here way back when, when Timmy was little and how so many things were going wrong with school, and how each one had their own trials and tribulations to deal with and knew I wasn't alone in all this school craziness and b/p, adhd stuff. Timmy had grown so much since then, he did a 360, made some great freinds, lost weight from the medications, he was shy and quiet, but also funny and goofy loved to make everyone laugh. He was turning out to be such a fine young man. I'm proud of him and always will be, he had it tough but he kept on going. He was amazing, and I miss him.

    Please all take care and I will definitly always keep you all in my prayers and will come in and out to keep you all posted and hopefully one day I can come and tell you that my son finally received the justice he greatly deserves!

    God Bless
  2. KateM

    KateM Member

    Hi, Bette,

    I've been thinking of you! I saw you on the news with the memorial BBQ on Timmy's anniversary a few weeks ago. You and your family are in my prayers. Glad to hear your 2 older sons are making progress! As for your boyfriend -- so sorry he hasn't been a support! I hope to be hearing of an arrest in your son's case soon. God bless!
  3. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Awww...Bette. You made me cry. What a load you have had and are continuing.

    All I can say is you have a ton of people here for support. Geez...still thinking about your story. Come back, dear. We're here for you.

  4. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    I was just thinking about you the other day......thanks for posting and letting us know you are getting by.......your son's death was such a tragedy! It is interesting how some people can cope with such pain and others just run from it........Hope there is justice for your son........
  5. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks for updating us. I pray an arrest comes soon. Bless you and your family.
  6. OpenWindow

    OpenWindow Active Member

    Bette -

    I was thinking about you the other day too and wondering how things were - I'm glad you posted. I hope you find justice soon.
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Good to see you Bette. I keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
  8. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    I have also been wondering about you!

    Very glad to hear from you. I hope justice is served very soon.
  9. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Bette, the pain must be simply unbearable. I can only imagine your rage.

    When I have grieved the loss of loved ones there have been times that since I couldn't talk to them anymore, I wanted to talk about them to someone who would listen. If you find yourself remembering something silly that Timmy did and want to share it, think of us. If you see something you wish you could tell Timmy, tell us. Or, if you just want to scream at the top of your lungs feel free to do that here, too. Any time.

    Big hugs,
  10. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hugs to you, Bette.
  11. dlgallant

    dlgallant New Member

    Your family is in my prayers. It's been 10 years since my angel was taken from me. If you ever want to talk with someone who has been there, I'm here. I'll be watching for updates from you. I'll also be praying for those handling your son's case.

  12. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I can't say I understand your pain and rage. I don't. I can't. All I can say is that I'm in tears for you (still). I pray that the killer(s) be caught and brought to justice. I'm so very sorry.
  13. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    I, too, have been thinking of you lately. thanks for letting us know how things go. I hope the older boys continue to do well. I wish the middle son the best in joining the National Guard. This must be terrifying for you, as his mother. Your courage and love for him shine through as you live with his choice without putting up roadblocks to keep him from joining in this time of war.

    Please think of us if you need to do what Suz suggested. We love you, and are here for you whatever you need.

    Love and hugs, adn prayers,

  14. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    So glad you checked in Bette.............I think of you often. You are so strong, and such an admiration.
    Keep fighting the good fight. And like Suz said, if you wanna tell us any of the wonderful things you remember about him - please, please share.
  15. tpcmom

    tpcmom New Member

    Oh you guys are the best, put tears in my eyes. Thanks so much for all your prayers and encouraging words! I really appreciate it. I love talking about Timmy. I remember so many things that he has done, funny things, sad things, crazy things. I remember first coming here so many years ago before I knew he had b/p and how terrified I was and going thru all those crazy school meetings and dr. apts. and stuff, and how he grew so much from that to this wonderful human being who had so much to live for. He did a 360, after he hit puberty around 12/13, he changed so much and grew so much and understood he condition so much better and made many more friends and better choices on how to handle situations, it was amazing. What I'd do to get all that back. I'd go thru he** and high water if I had to. Well I have a really good story I can tell you guys, one time we went to the supermarket, he was bored and asked if he could wait outside, so I said yes. Well when I went out I couldn't find him, I looked everywhere, I went back in the store up and down aisles, still no Timmy, I started getting worried then I thought would he walk home, we aren't really that far away, no he wouldn't do that, he liked to drive and listen to the radio, so then I'm standing by my car thinking what do I do, where did he go, then I heard a noise, and I turned and thought "oh no he didn't" , here my car has those pop things to let the seat down and you can look into the trunk, well he was hiding in the trunk of my car the whole time and when I let the seat down he went 'SURPRISE", LOL, I was so mad at the time, but I couldn't stop laughing at what he did, that was the kind of humor he had! Thanks for letting me share, this is one of my favorite stories about him, it just shows how light hearted he was and how goofy and funny and he loved to make people laugh, he never like it when I was sad or upset. I miss his big bear hugs!

    God Bless, you are all so wonderful

  16. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Bette, thanks for sharing such a delightful story about Timmy.

    I too hope that you find justice soon.

  17. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Bette, what a fun story. I'll bet you wanted to knock him upside the head even though you were laughing. Rob used to hide from me, too. Our boys with goofy senses of humor- eh?

  18. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Oh boy.............that kiddo.
    I would have died! And yet laughed my butt off at the same time.
    difficult child has that same type of humor. He has pulled the craziest stunts, and yet still manages to make me laugh.

    I have never known death until my sister H. died suddenly and unexpectedly in a tragic accident (or something, still not sure). That has been such a mind numbing, brain chilling experience - the only thing worse I can think of is losing my son. Not sure I would make it through that, since I am barely making it through this. However, when I look at someone like you, I know that no matter what comes my way, I will overcome.

    Death is so elusive. It seems to catch me off guard every single time. I can be standing at work, and still have my breath taken away when I remember that my sister is gone. I still want to do what you are doing and generate publicity and funding to find out what really happened to her - and yet I still cannot find the tenacity and energy to do that. God, it is all just so hard.:sick:

    Hugs to you, and your strength, and your spirit.
  19. tpcmom

    tpcmom New Member

    Yes it does, I still am lost, I know I am forever changed and life will never be the same. Steely, you are strong, and your sister is smiling down on you, that you have to believe in your heart. I try and see that too and know that Timmy would be proud of me, I can never give up and it's what keeps me going. I was telling a friend of mine just yesterday that I will keep doing beneifts and car washes to raise Timmy's reward until they find who did this, and if they do find it without needing the tip line, then I will set up a fund somehow, someway to keep his memory alive in his honor. I was even saying maybe for kids who have problems like bipolor each year give a grant and try maybe set it up like a 503 account or something, it will give me hope knowing that I am still fighting for him in any way that I can. You will find something, just as I hope I will find something too. Just keep believing and never give up.
  20. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    OMG, hiding in the trunk? What a turkey! I can imagine the mix of relief and wanting to knock his block off when you found him...

    What a great story. What a great way to keep his memory and legacy alive. He, too, is smiling down on us. Don't ever hesitate to share stories about him with us!

    God bless, and godspeed in your plight to bring justice to him.