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WOW, me again.
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<blockquote data-quote="Big Bad Kitty" data-source="post: 162472" data-attributes="member: 3647"><p>You are all so right. I completely need to disengage.</p><p></p><p>It is SO hard to ignore her. She is so very "in your face". Plus, this is how I have always done things~ ie, giving her the opportunity to speak her mind. I watched Copper get walked all over growing up. I watched her grieve for years because her father is a complete zero. I did not want Tink to grow up to be a pushover (like me, like her sister) and instead she is an exact carbon copy of her manipulative father. I bent over backwards to keep a relationship alive between Tink and her dad. I did not want another child to grow up thinking her father did not love her. So I eat crow. I walk on eggshells around him more now than I ever did when we were together. how sad is that? All for her sake. </p><p></p><p>I have always been a certain way with Tink. Change is scary. I am afraid of what she will do next if I ignore her. I know I need to just do it. She and I are SO co-dependent on eachother for happiness. It is not fair to her OR me. I have never been good at drawing boundaries with ANYONE. This kid crosses the line in the sand every. single. time.</p><p></p><p>I don't know how this monster was created. I don't mean Tink, I mean the whole situation. I did call my mother last night to vent. She has a hard time just listening because she has opinions on how I could be doing things different. Many are spot-on, most are "just crack her one". Like that helps. </p><p></p><p>I do have a break this weekend. She goes to see her father. See, that was planned last night before she even called him. He and I talked just a couple hours before and planned that she would go to his place today after lunch ans stay the weekend. When she called him, she was looking to just get there earlier. On one hand, he knew that she was pushing my buttons and would not feed into it. And good for him. He can do that with her. She knows where the line is with him. On the other hand though, if MY kid called me saying that he/she did not feel safe where she was, I would have at LEAST asked to talk to the person in charge. He just told her she would be fine and that he would see her tomorrow. Moron. Anyways, I get a couple days respite, then she will be back worse than ever because she is always like that after seeing dad. Gaaahhh.</p><p></p><p>Once again, thank you all for your suggestions. I will definitely get ahold of the book Love & Logic. I am waiting for the YMCA to let me know if she is qualified for a scholarship for daycamp. If she is, I may be able to get her in for the last couple weeks of June AND a few weeks in August. I really am trying to keep her structured for the summer.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Big Bad Kitty, post: 162472, member: 3647"] You are all so right. I completely need to disengage. It is SO hard to ignore her. She is so very "in your face". Plus, this is how I have always done things~ ie, giving her the opportunity to speak her mind. I watched Copper get walked all over growing up. I watched her grieve for years because her father is a complete zero. I did not want Tink to grow up to be a pushover (like me, like her sister) and instead she is an exact carbon copy of her manipulative father. I bent over backwards to keep a relationship alive between Tink and her dad. I did not want another child to grow up thinking her father did not love her. So I eat crow. I walk on eggshells around him more now than I ever did when we were together. how sad is that? All for her sake. I have always been a certain way with Tink. Change is scary. I am afraid of what she will do next if I ignore her. I know I need to just do it. She and I are SO co-dependent on eachother for happiness. It is not fair to her OR me. I have never been good at drawing boundaries with ANYONE. This kid crosses the line in the sand every. single. time. I don't know how this monster was created. I don't mean Tink, I mean the whole situation. I did call my mother last night to vent. She has a hard time just listening because she has opinions on how I could be doing things different. Many are spot-on, most are "just crack her one". Like that helps. I do have a break this weekend. She goes to see her father. See, that was planned last night before she even called him. He and I talked just a couple hours before and planned that she would go to his place today after lunch ans stay the weekend. When she called him, she was looking to just get there earlier. On one hand, he knew that she was pushing my buttons and would not feed into it. And good for him. He can do that with her. She knows where the line is with him. On the other hand though, if MY kid called me saying that he/she did not feel safe where she was, I would have at LEAST asked to talk to the person in charge. He just told her she would be fine and that he would see her tomorrow. Moron. Anyways, I get a couple days respite, then she will be back worse than ever because she is always like that after seeing dad. Gaaahhh. Once again, thank you all for your suggestions. I will definitely get ahold of the book Love & Logic. I am waiting for the YMCA to let me know if she is qualified for a scholarship for daycamp. If she is, I may be able to get her in for the last couple weeks of June AND a few weeks in August. I really am trying to keep her structured for the summer. [/QUOTE]
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