Wow What a day!!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Mitzi Paws, May 4, 2008.

  1. Mitzi Paws

    Mitzi Paws New Member

    I guess I need to vent. I got up this morning with killer cramps and came down stairs. difficult child was on the couch watching tv. I made a list of things for her to do today since she hasn't done much to help out this week because she has been pretty busy. Right away she shuts down and starts telling me how she won't do any of it and it is too much to do. Now this list would have probably taken her a total of an hour max. I told her she had all day to do it but could not play with freinds until it was all done. So she didn't do anything for about an hour. Then my other daughters boyfriend came over which always causes fireworks with difficult child because she and he do not get along. Within 10 minutes of him coming in the house a huge fight starts. I am upstairs, unable to come down when the yelling starts and so my husband comes in from outside and "escorts" difficult child out into the garage because she would rather stay in and fight. So, here we are out in the garage, me my husband and difficult child. difficult child is raging out of control throwing things including her fists at us. In the middle of this rage my other daughter opens the door from inside and says,"Our old neighbor is here from out of town for a visit." So, mortified I go to the door while my difficult child is still raging- screaming and throwing things against the door, which by the way is about 2 feet from the front door, and ask our old neighbor if we can get together later. She is very nice about it but I am still mortified anyway. I am so tired of feeling like we are just trying to do what the professionals tell us to do with medications and counseling appts. and still dealing about weekly with these rages and all of the fall out from them. My feelings have really changed for difficult child. I am ashamed to admit this but when most of what you get is just what I would call abuse from anyone else it is really hard to feel any other way. I just want to have a normal family. Not a perfect home but a somewhat peaceful one without these times that just bleed me of any sanity. When these things happen I just want to die. My energy gets zapped away and all I want to do is disappear into my room and sleep the day away so that I don't have to deal with it anymore. Thank God my husband took difficult child to the store to get her away from here. I feel like such a failure as a parent. I know that my difficult child is suffering too and I do feel so bad for her but sometimes I guess I get selfish and long for normalsy. They say that God doesn't give you more than you can handle but I disagree with this. Well, thanks for letting me vent.
  2. muts80

    muts80 New Member

    Well as I'm reading this, I'm thinking "she sounds EXACTLY like me today". We had a rough day with difficult child too. Everything you said was just how I felt all weekend long. In fact, I wrote a thread yesterday about concidering Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for him. I feel like the rest of my family is suffering so badly. And I often feel guilty for that. My husband took difficult child to the store today too, to get him out of my face for a few hours. He seems to torture me more than anyone else. That probably stems from husband being gone a lot for work (he's in the Air Force), and I'm the only one here for him to blow up at. I'm just getting to the point where I don't know what else to do to help him. And as he goes through all the medication trial & errors, the rest of the family is falling apart.

    Hang in there sweetie! ((HUGS))
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    With every sentence I read, MitziPaws, I felt that I was the one standing there, including when the old neighbor stopped by. (Although I had to admit I chuckled at that part!) I even had cramps this weekend.
    I am so sorry. I know how you feel about your difficult child. It is SO hard.
    I'm glad your husband took her out for a while.
    Tomorrow will be an improvement. It's GOT to be.
  4. JenD

    JenD New Member

    You are not alone in your feelings that was me last night. While I love my difficult child with all me heart there are times when she has completely worn me out. I have also wished for a bit of normalcy to return.

    Hang in there!!!
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    It's been an interesting weekend around here, too. Hanging on for Monday morning when she goes back to school!
  6. Mitzi Paws

    Mitzi Paws New Member

    Thanks all for the warm words and hugs. It really does feel good to talk to people who really understand what you are going through!!!
    Love and hugs,
  7. tryinghard

    tryinghard New Member

    We are always here for you!
  8. My quote of the day "WHY ME, WHY ME, WHY ME???????????????":faint:
  9. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It is ABUSE. Make no mistake. It is parental abuse. It IS hard to love someone that abuses you. I used to say if she were my husband I would have divorced her long ago.

    Having said that.........there will be days like these.


    There were be better days than these.

    It is a roller coaster that you ride with a difficult child. One of the hardest things for me was to continue to go up and down with her. I am soooooo straight with my moods (unless difficult child is getting me down) that it really sent me into a bad place to have to keep going up and down with her.

    Hard to learn, hard to change, important to understand.

  10. my question is this- Do they get better or is it a constant battle everyday to do the simplest things for rest of our lives??? He has no motovation to do can take everything away and it doesnt effect him he has no respect for anyone!! I have read books and tried different ways, nothing works. He gets mad at us if we make him do what is required of him......Iam at wits end:angry-very:
  11. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    There are many days that I don't like difficult child. MB is right it is abuse and like her I have often said if husband treated me like difficult child does we wouldn't be married right now. I'm sorry your day was so rough. Sending gentle hugs your way.
  12. Christy

    Christy New Member

    "Having said that.........there will be days like these. AND There were be better days than these." Well said Busywend!

    My son has rages almost daily but there are good times too and I wouldn't trade those times for anything. It's impossible not to feel angry and frustrated but try not to show it. Kids should feel unconditional love even when they aren't acting lovable. I understand your desire to have a normal life. I often wish my son could be like other kids and I wouldn't have to work so hard at being a mom but when I think about the tough road my son has to go down due to his mental health problems, I can't help but fight for him.

    I hope tomorrow is a better day for you and your family!