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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 310325" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Duckie is a sharp little girl. It's good that you are thinking about her needs. I agree it's important to not let our kids feel guilty for having a good, stable life. I remind them as they get older that once they <em>choose</em> to have a child that their needs are second to the child's needs. Hopefully, I'm planting the seeds of adult behavior vs the self indulgency that is a child's personality.</p><p></p><p>It's unfortunate that your mom is ill and dysfunctional but everyone has something in their lives. No one gets through life without something being less than perfect. When easy child was struggling with having a less than n/t brother, we had this conversation about how life isn't 2 dimensional but more of a tapestry with different textures and colors.I can't give him a perfect fairy tale life. Having a difficult child sibling/parent/grandparent makes some of those colors richer and deeper and certainly more complex. In the end, it will be to easy child's advantage to have had the experience of a unique brother. I think Duckie will have that experience of a grandmother who isn't very kind or thoughtful to her own daughter let alone grand daughter. It will make her more sensitive and a more empathetic person. She will probably be great in the grandmother dept when it's her turn. </p><p></p><p>She is a very special little girl and she is fortunate to have parents who recognize what she needs to grow into the sort of person you know she can be.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 310325, member: 3"] Duckie is a sharp little girl. It's good that you are thinking about her needs. I agree it's important to not let our kids feel guilty for having a good, stable life. I remind them as they get older that once they [I]choose[/I] to have a child that their needs are second to the child's needs. Hopefully, I'm planting the seeds of adult behavior vs the self indulgency that is a child's personality. It's unfortunate that your mom is ill and dysfunctional but everyone has something in their lives. No one gets through life without something being less than perfect. When easy child was struggling with having a less than n/t brother, we had this conversation about how life isn't 2 dimensional but more of a tapestry with different textures and colors.I can't give him a perfect fairy tale life. Having a difficult child sibling/parent/grandparent makes some of those colors richer and deeper and certainly more complex. In the end, it will be to easy child's advantage to have had the experience of a unique brother. I think Duckie will have that experience of a grandmother who isn't very kind or thoughtful to her own daughter let alone grand daughter. It will make her more sensitive and a more empathetic person. She will probably be great in the grandmother dept when it's her turn. She is a very special little girl and she is fortunate to have parents who recognize what she needs to grow into the sort of person you know she can be. [/QUOTE]
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