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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 345851" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Well- can you help me out by giving me pointers? Right now I have four catagories- 1) Regular chores, 2) House rules/general expectations, 3) Zero tolerance, 4) parole expectations. It's #2 that is long but maybe I have too many types of things listed in that- it covers a lot of different stuff from doing homework, general privileges, stuff he's expected to do and not get an allowance for, etc. </p><p></p><p>Now, the objective was to let him know what sorts of things would lead to a 911 call (the four things listed in #3), and what would lead to a call to the PO. The regular chores and allowance (I make him earn his allowance) can be discussed and I wrote in there that we would discuss the amount he would earn for these things and what he would be expected to pay for himself. These three topics are about one page long, but they are spread out and reasonable, I think.</p><p></p><p>The long topic lists a lot of detailed stuff because I wanted difficult child to understand the types of things that he can get consequences for but will not lead to me calling 911 or PO, unless he repetitively goes against them. I guess I could generalize some of it and just let difficult child know that I'm not going to play the game "it wasn't specifically listed so it doesn't count". And maybe I could break out the things that are more privileges or things we've discussed that have nothing to do with rules- like trying to have a fun family night once a week. That wouldn't be something I'd punish him for if he was too busy because of the mentor coming or something. I wrote below that catagory that we could discuss consequences for breaking these rules and that we would review them in about 3 months (at the end of this school year), and again at the beginning of next school year.</p><p></p><p>Just thinking out loud, maybe if I split that catagory in two- one for rules/expectations, and one for privileges/family stuff, I wouldn't need to give him all these at once. I guess I wanted him to see that house "policy" didn't all have to be bad stuff- like him staying off the computer. But this is the part I'm not sure how to go about. Maybe I'll go back and review that older thread about others' lists for their difficult child's and see how they worded things.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 345851, member: 3699"] Well- can you help me out by giving me pointers? Right now I have four catagories- 1) Regular chores, 2) House rules/general expectations, 3) Zero tolerance, 4) parole expectations. It's #2 that is long but maybe I have too many types of things listed in that- it covers a lot of different stuff from doing homework, general privileges, stuff he's expected to do and not get an allowance for, etc. Now, the objective was to let him know what sorts of things would lead to a 911 call (the four things listed in #3), and what would lead to a call to the PO. The regular chores and allowance (I make him earn his allowance) can be discussed and I wrote in there that we would discuss the amount he would earn for these things and what he would be expected to pay for himself. These three topics are about one page long, but they are spread out and reasonable, I think. The long topic lists a lot of detailed stuff because I wanted difficult child to understand the types of things that he can get consequences for but will not lead to me calling 911 or PO, unless he repetitively goes against them. I guess I could generalize some of it and just let difficult child know that I'm not going to play the game "it wasn't specifically listed so it doesn't count". And maybe I could break out the things that are more privileges or things we've discussed that have nothing to do with rules- like trying to have a fun family night once a week. That wouldn't be something I'd punish him for if he was too busy because of the mentor coming or something. I wrote below that catagory that we could discuss consequences for breaking these rules and that we would review them in about 3 months (at the end of this school year), and again at the beginning of next school year. Just thinking out loud, maybe if I split that catagory in two- one for rules/expectations, and one for privileges/family stuff, I wouldn't need to give him all these at once. I guess I wanted him to see that house "policy" didn't all have to be bad stuff- like him staying off the computer. But this is the part I'm not sure how to go about. Maybe I'll go back and review that older thread about others' lists for their difficult child's and see how they worded things. [/QUOTE]
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