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Writing expectations
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 345954" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>He'd asked for me to let him know specific expectations and what it maight take to earn more privileges in the future and so forth. At the time the subject first came up, I didn't even know if we'd still be living here so had no idea about school hours, PO requirements, or anything else. Now we have a better idea, but still don't know specifics- like how many times a week the mentor will have time with difficult child or for how long. But, I thought we had enough info to start on this. </p><p></p><p>I wrote difficult child a letter and told him I'd given these these some thought and started lists for them and asked if he wanted me to send the lists or us just discuss it as each subject comes up. </p><p></p><p>As far as him developing the rules with me, that's a no-go at this point in time. Punishments, I might consider his input- but I went back and read Janet's ideas and I do like the idea of not having consequences set in stone up front. A lot of things can vary depending on circumstances and if consequences are set in stone and known up front, they tend to become a situation of either being given or not given. If they be changed depending on circumstances and how well he's doing in general, it helps.</p><p></p><p>The chore list shouldn't be an issue- he's usually been pretty good about it and we are both flexible with it- you know, yardwork done a different day if a school project is due or whatever.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 345954, member: 3699"] He'd asked for me to let him know specific expectations and what it maight take to earn more privileges in the future and so forth. At the time the subject first came up, I didn't even know if we'd still be living here so had no idea about school hours, PO requirements, or anything else. Now we have a better idea, but still don't know specifics- like how many times a week the mentor will have time with difficult child or for how long. But, I thought we had enough info to start on this. I wrote difficult child a letter and told him I'd given these these some thought and started lists for them and asked if he wanted me to send the lists or us just discuss it as each subject comes up. As far as him developing the rules with me, that's a no-go at this point in time. Punishments, I might consider his input- but I went back and read Janet's ideas and I do like the idea of not having consequences set in stone up front. A lot of things can vary depending on circumstances and if consequences are set in stone and known up front, they tend to become a situation of either being given or not given. If they be changed depending on circumstances and how well he's doing in general, it helps. The chore list shouldn't be an issue- he's usually been pretty good about it and we are both flexible with it- you know, yardwork done a different day if a school project is due or whatever. [/QUOTE]
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