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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 346224" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Ok, I see that point. I'll talk to difficult child about it at the next visitation to see how he wants to handle this- as far as what to have a written list for and what to just discuss. (In terms of listing chores that he needs to do to earn money, and things like that.) The categories were chosen that way originally in order to stay somewhat consitent with the way Department of Juvenile Justice handles things, although they have completely different terms for life at home. But they were categorized so he could easily tell ways to earn money, what's expected of him that has nothing to do with allowance but that could cause a loss of privilege, what would result in a bigger problem, and what was going to be another "street charge". I can see not getting speicific about consequences for things like coming home 15 mins late or smarting off to me, but I do think it's only fair to let him know what league a "violation" is in- Department of Juvenile Justice does that as well.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, changing subjects a bit- he's had a cold or allergies or combination. I found that interesting as that always happens this time of year and starts right before spring and hayfever season. They were trying to figure out the best OTC drugs to give him- thankfully they didn't move into steroids of any type but it wouldn't have hurt to get rx'd medications. I bring that up because I had noticed a very coincidental (or not) seasonal pattern, it even got so obvious that his psychiatrist said something about it a few times in the past.</p><p></p><p>And, difficult child called a little while ago to tell me the worst was over- he had to go before the final review board to get his release officially approved today. He had to read them his pages of stuff he'd had to write about his charges, his mistakes, and his plans to make sure they don't get repeated. And he had to answer their questions about it all. Apparently, he had an anxiety attack based on his description about what happened to him physically- nothing like peeing on himself, but still, clear anxiety related physical symptoms. Profs have never given anxiety serious weight for difficult child because he won't tell them details he tells me, but honestly, when it's come down thru at least two generations before him and I see and hear the same things from him, it's a little hard for me not to think a lot of his behavior in the past has been indirectly due to anxiety. If he'd get past being ashamed of the anxiety, maybe we could actually get somewhere in getting him help for it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 346224, member: 3699"] Ok, I see that point. I'll talk to difficult child about it at the next visitation to see how he wants to handle this- as far as what to have a written list for and what to just discuss. (In terms of listing chores that he needs to do to earn money, and things like that.) The categories were chosen that way originally in order to stay somewhat consitent with the way Department of Juvenile Justice handles things, although they have completely different terms for life at home. But they were categorized so he could easily tell ways to earn money, what's expected of him that has nothing to do with allowance but that could cause a loss of privilege, what would result in a bigger problem, and what was going to be another "street charge". I can see not getting speicific about consequences for things like coming home 15 mins late or smarting off to me, but I do think it's only fair to let him know what league a "violation" is in- Department of Juvenile Justice does that as well. Anyway, changing subjects a bit- he's had a cold or allergies or combination. I found that interesting as that always happens this time of year and starts right before spring and hayfever season. They were trying to figure out the best OTC drugs to give him- thankfully they didn't move into steroids of any type but it wouldn't have hurt to get rx'd medications. I bring that up because I had noticed a very coincidental (or not) seasonal pattern, it even got so obvious that his psychiatrist said something about it a few times in the past. And, difficult child called a little while ago to tell me the worst was over- he had to go before the final review board to get his release officially approved today. He had to read them his pages of stuff he'd had to write about his charges, his mistakes, and his plans to make sure they don't get repeated. And he had to answer their questions about it all. Apparently, he had an anxiety attack based on his description about what happened to him physically- nothing like peeing on himself, but still, clear anxiety related physical symptoms. Profs have never given anxiety serious weight for difficult child because he won't tell them details he tells me, but honestly, when it's come down thru at least two generations before him and I see and hear the same things from him, it's a little hard for me not to think a lot of his behavior in the past has been indirectly due to anxiety. If he'd get past being ashamed of the anxiety, maybe we could actually get somewhere in getting him help for it. [/QUOTE]
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