BusynMember
Well-Known Member
Suz, I understand totally and I know why you don't want to give your son's identity away too.
I am less apt than you to tell my grown kids, no matter what age they are functioning at (36 is probably at 10, but legally he is 36 and won't catch a break from "life" for acting like a child sometimes). Maybe it's just that my kids are all rather independent, which is very encouraged in our culture although not all adult kids are independent anyway, regardless. A lot depends on how they are raised and how much they can depend on Dad and Mom even as adults. Even 36 would know that somebody was "iffy" if he went to a group and the leader tried to talk him into stuff he didn't think sounded right and he would likely be rude to the person and perhaps give him the middle finger salute just before quitting...lol. I do trust him to know when somebody is off his rocker. It takes one to know? haha. Maybe!!
This was in my opinion not such a huge problem as your son is old enough to ignore, which he did. He demonstrated the adult ability to discern a nutcase from somebody who seriously wanted to help him which is what we all want and hope our grown kids will do. This bodes well for his future!
I'm glad for your post as it gave a reason to discuss NA/AA. I want to add one last thing. You do not need to have a religion to be in the group. When I belonged to Codapendents Anonymous, one woman was a total atheist so she considered nature to be her higher power and escaped to nature when she needed to "give up her control issues." She was very successful in the program and was somebody I relied on a lot, although I am not an atheist.
I am less apt than you to tell my grown kids, no matter what age they are functioning at (36 is probably at 10, but legally he is 36 and won't catch a break from "life" for acting like a child sometimes). Maybe it's just that my kids are all rather independent, which is very encouraged in our culture although not all adult kids are independent anyway, regardless. A lot depends on how they are raised and how much they can depend on Dad and Mom even as adults. Even 36 would know that somebody was "iffy" if he went to a group and the leader tried to talk him into stuff he didn't think sounded right and he would likely be rude to the person and perhaps give him the middle finger salute just before quitting...lol. I do trust him to know when somebody is off his rocker. It takes one to know? haha. Maybe!!
This was in my opinion not such a huge problem as your son is old enough to ignore, which he did. He demonstrated the adult ability to discern a nutcase from somebody who seriously wanted to help him which is what we all want and hope our grown kids will do. This bodes well for his future!
I'm glad for your post as it gave a reason to discuss NA/AA. I want to add one last thing. You do not need to have a religion to be in the group. When I belonged to Codapendents Anonymous, one woman was a total atheist so she considered nature to be her higher power and escaped to nature when she needed to "give up her control issues." She was very successful in the program and was somebody I relied on a lot, although I am not an atheist.
