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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 553518" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>True, DDD. On top of it being strained because this "transition" from young teen to older teen didn't happen naturally for either of us (like it would if he'd been at home), Department of Juvenile Justice does try to get these kids to be responsible for themselves. That is good in one way, but when they aren't coming out at 18 or going to a group home (God help those kids), and they go back to parent(s) and a juvenile PO, it is extremely strained on both the parent and the young adult. There really is no way to go back to "normal" parenting but there's so much desire to make up for lost time. I'm sure E would never admit it, but I think he has that side as much as he has the typical teen desire and Department of Juvenile Justice pressure to get out on his own. ...Just like I battle trying to make up for lost time along with waiting for the other shoe to drop. </p><p></p><p>I still am convinced that at this point in time, it was best for E to come back and live with me and struggle thru whatever we can together, within reason, as long as he is trying so that he can process as much typical teen life as possible. I can't help but think this is a good thing for him personally and will help him in his future, personally and as a parent someday.</p><p></p><p>He's decided to graduate HS early- at the end of this semester, since Spanish 2 was such a struggle so now he can't get an advanced diploma. I'm going to sign permission. He'll be graduating at his 18th b-day. I graduated 1 full year early and was 16 at graduation. I made big mistakes afterwards and I suspect he will, too. But I grew up and didn't quit HS or do anything that prevented me going to a university. Department of Juvenile Justice tried hard to get him to quit and get a GED so he could get to work as a janitor upon release from Department of Juvenile Justice. Thankfully, he didn't do that. </p><p></p><p>Right now he's bouncing all over the place- he doesn't want or need my help....but why won't I sign over my old car to him since I said it would be his to drive? He wants to go to college but the main thing is getting as far away from me and this state as possible. He will support himself but has no idea how to get a job making enough to do so. It's my fault he "has no future" but he is beyond ticked off that "I am too worried about him and won't leave him alone and just worry about myself". </p><p></p><p>I told him I'd write up a list of options I could think of and what I'd be willing to help him with (helping pay for and completing apps for community college, a 4-yr college, he can use the old car but I won't sign it over to him until he's on his own and earning enough to pay his own insurance, etc). I thought I was being reasonable but apparently - according to him- I am the biggest Bwitch to ever walk the face of the earth and I should just leave him alone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 553518, member: 3699"] True, DDD. On top of it being strained because this "transition" from young teen to older teen didn't happen naturally for either of us (like it would if he'd been at home), Department of Juvenile Justice does try to get these kids to be responsible for themselves. That is good in one way, but when they aren't coming out at 18 or going to a group home (God help those kids), and they go back to parent(s) and a juvenile PO, it is extremely strained on both the parent and the young adult. There really is no way to go back to "normal" parenting but there's so much desire to make up for lost time. I'm sure E would never admit it, but I think he has that side as much as he has the typical teen desire and Department of Juvenile Justice pressure to get out on his own. ...Just like I battle trying to make up for lost time along with waiting for the other shoe to drop. I still am convinced that at this point in time, it was best for E to come back and live with me and struggle thru whatever we can together, within reason, as long as he is trying so that he can process as much typical teen life as possible. I can't help but think this is a good thing for him personally and will help him in his future, personally and as a parent someday. He's decided to graduate HS early- at the end of this semester, since Spanish 2 was such a struggle so now he can't get an advanced diploma. I'm going to sign permission. He'll be graduating at his 18th b-day. I graduated 1 full year early and was 16 at graduation. I made big mistakes afterwards and I suspect he will, too. But I grew up and didn't quit HS or do anything that prevented me going to a university. Department of Juvenile Justice tried hard to get him to quit and get a GED so he could get to work as a janitor upon release from Department of Juvenile Justice. Thankfully, he didn't do that. Right now he's bouncing all over the place- he doesn't want or need my help....but why won't I sign over my old car to him since I said it would be his to drive? He wants to go to college but the main thing is getting as far away from me and this state as possible. He will support himself but has no idea how to get a job making enough to do so. It's my fault he "has no future" but he is beyond ticked off that "I am too worried about him and won't leave him alone and just worry about myself". I told him I'd write up a list of options I could think of and what I'd be willing to help him with (helping pay for and completing apps for community college, a 4-yr college, he can use the old car but I won't sign it over to him until he's on his own and earning enough to pay his own insurance, etc). I thought I was being reasonable but apparently - according to him- I am the biggest Bwitch to ever walk the face of the earth and I should just leave him alone. [/QUOTE]
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