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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 190682" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Gosh, so sorry about husband's collarbone. I suspect his low-grade pain contributes to his inability to calm down with-difficult child. Any little thing will set you off when you're in chronic pain. And difficult child's behavior is not little!</p><p>I'm glad you're not yelling. That's a positive step.</p><p> </p><p>Fight or flight syndrome is a panic response with-humans and mammals. When confronted with-an enemy, instinctively, we either turn to fight it or flee. In nature, it's pretty cut and dried. If you're a tiny critter facing a T-rex. you flee. If you're evenly matched and your babies are endangered, you fight.</p><p>But with-humans, it gets more complicated because our "enemies" are often family or employers. If we can't fight or flee, what do we do? Sometimes, our reactions don't match the situation.</p><p>As adults, we can do an emotion-check when we're uptight. For ex., if your son is acting out, stand still and see if your heart is racing and your ears are ringing and if your breathing is shallow. Your body is going into fight-or-flight mode. You can make a choice to do deep breathing to calm down, or maybe just leave the room briefly, if your son is not a danger to himself. But you've got to confront him at some point to help HIM calm down. </p><p> </p><p>Does that help?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 190682, member: 3419"] Gosh, so sorry about husband's collarbone. I suspect his low-grade pain contributes to his inability to calm down with-difficult child. Any little thing will set you off when you're in chronic pain. And difficult child's behavior is not little! I'm glad you're not yelling. That's a positive step. Fight or flight syndrome is a panic response with-humans and mammals. When confronted with-an enemy, instinctively, we either turn to fight it or flee. In nature, it's pretty cut and dried. If you're a tiny critter facing a T-rex. you flee. If you're evenly matched and your babies are endangered, you fight. But with-humans, it gets more complicated because our "enemies" are often family or employers. If we can't fight or flee, what do we do? Sometimes, our reactions don't match the situation. As adults, we can do an emotion-check when we're uptight. For ex., if your son is acting out, stand still and see if your heart is racing and your ears are ringing and if your breathing is shallow. Your body is going into fight-or-flight mode. You can make a choice to do deep breathing to calm down, or maybe just leave the room briefly, if your son is not a danger to himself. But you've got to confront him at some point to help HIM calm down. Does that help? [/QUOTE]
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