Yesterday Difficult Child turned 18...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by ksm, Mar 21, 2016.

  1. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    the day went pretty good. I made a little mini album (I like to scrapbook) with about 8 photos and quotes about family and love. Then a small gift sack with some makeup she wanted. I gave her my first "real" ring that I had bought when my son was small. It was a gold band with a nice size aquamarine, my sons birthstone. It is also DCs birthstone. I also showed her her large photo album that I had worked on a couple weeks ago and added about 20 pages from her grade school years. She enjoyed looking thru that with her sister and dad (my son-technically her step dad)

    Then I fixed Difficult Child a "my first apartment kit" I bought thIngs for the bathroom, toilet paper, shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, toothpaste, wash cloths, tampons, pads, Kleenex and razors. And kitchen items, dishes for 4, silverware, cutting board, skillet, saucepan, mixing bowl, knife, dish soap, skillet, kitchen towels and wash cloths, pot holder, spatula, mixing spoon, and her favorite food items, ranch dressing, a 12 pack of ramen noodles, and animal crackers. If and when she met moves out, I will let her take the towels and bedding set she uses now. But I already told her the bed stays here, until she has graduated from high school.

    We drove about 50 miles to eat at Kobe Steakhouse, and then she went to the movies with a friend after we returned home. Overall, a decent day.

    But we put younger DCs behavior on the back burner so as not to disrupt her birthday. Younger Difficult Child is lying to us about not being involved with a Difficult Child boyfriend. There is a court order of no contact... If I notify authorities...this 18yo will get jail time... We have tried consequences, grounding, etc, but it doesn't deter her. She lies to find ways to be with him. He is a major player, has a criminal record, uses drugs, etc. this is not someone we can just ignore and hope she moves on. She has been emotionally stuck for 1.5 years. In and out of involvement... Always waiting for him to return to her. Has been treated for bacterial vaginitis 3 times in the last said it is usually transmitted by partners who have multiple partners.

    And to top it off...we are on spring break all week. SMH

  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Glad you had a pleasant day...hope spring break goes smoothly for you.
  3. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Sounds like a lot for you to handle at 60. I'm 54 and really feel too old to deal with half the stuff I've had to deal with. Just want peace and quiet.

    Sounds like a wonderful and generous apartment kit!!

    I have boys so can't comment on how to get rid of a bad boyfriend but sounds like he needs to go but it seems like sometimes our kids do the exact opposite of what we want them to do. I'm sure someone on this forum can give you some guidance.

    I'm just glad we don't have girls. I think my husband would be in jail if they had boyfriend problems because he'd take matters into his own hands which isn't good either!! Good luck and prayers to you.
  4. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    Ksm, if he is violating this court order, and it sounds like he is, then authorities should be notified. Not only for protection of your daughter, but for him as well. It may seem like a retaliatory act, but really, you are keeping the best interests of your daughter in the forefront, as well as letting the circumstances of his choices befall upon him, as they should. In the long run, this may help him, and certainly other young girls who may fall victim to his predation. At this point, this is what he is, a predator, working his wiles upon your girl, and anyone else out there who crosses his path, I am sure.

    I am glad you had a nice evening out with your oldest girl. Praying for her to see the love you have given her and to choose a path for her purpose and meaning.

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  5. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Active Member

    KSM, what about the mattress? Does the mattress connect to high school graduation or just the bed frame? You need to be specific about this. :biggrin:

    I like your "first apartment" kit. What a thoughtful idea!
  6. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Piglets... The whole bed... She can have it when she graduates. Right now, I am afraid that she would move in with someone, and would either lose her things...or the mattress would become so nasty I wouldn't want it back in my house! If she has a stable place to move, it would be different. If she moved out soon, it would be like being homeless and crashing with friends. KSM