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Parent Emeritus
You know, I think PE is exactly where this whole drama with Buck should be
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 575545" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Janet, you and Tony need to drop this guilt trip with Billy. It's true all parents feel some level of guilt when there is something wrong with their child (even if it is totally unreasonable), so you just have to be firm with yourselves that you did the best you could with what you knew and the time and let it go. </p><p></p><p>I couldn't begin to count the number of specialist Travis saw over the years. Now I even recognized the autism, although I knew he wasn't a true autistic, and it didn't help. He didn't get his offical diagnosis until the age of 14 for pete's sake. Much of the reason is because when he was small they didn't believe it was a spectrum disorder. Even when views changed, most docs were yet to be informed or knew too little about it. </p><p></p><p>I spent a lifetime working on Travis' issues. Then in HS when he went to the tech school they had specific classes that addressed students social issues so they could coach them. Travis improved some but not very much even with all that. And to be frank, I don't know if he just matured beyond some of the behaviors or if all we did helped. Know what I mean?? So even if you had picked up on it early and managed to find a doctor to listen and then managed to get some help for him there is no way of knowing if it really would have made a difference. </p><p></p><p>There is no reason Billy can't live on his own or at least make a major effort to at least attempt it before deciding that he can't handle the responsibility. However I've no doubt he can. </p><p></p><p>Buck on the other hand is another matter all together. 1. He is NOT your child. 2. He is an adult who has managed to live this long on his own, somehow, someway. There is no reason for him to keep landing on your doorstep except that Tony is determine to enable him for whatever reason. It doesn't matter if Buck has a diagnosis or not. If he does I'm going to bet it has to do with some heavy duty partying days in his youth........and that is not your fault. </p><p></p><p>Family helping family (and you know I'm big on this subject) does NOT mean let them mooch off of you until they bleed you dry. </p><p></p><p>Blocking Buck's number will only be a temporary fix. Buck's not that stupid. He'll borrow someone's phone to call Tony eventually. </p><p></p><p>Make good use of the time he is gone and try to show Tony how much nicer it was without Buck causing so much stress and drama. </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 575545, member: 84"] Janet, you and Tony need to drop this guilt trip with Billy. It's true all parents feel some level of guilt when there is something wrong with their child (even if it is totally unreasonable), so you just have to be firm with yourselves that you did the best you could with what you knew and the time and let it go. I couldn't begin to count the number of specialist Travis saw over the years. Now I even recognized the autism, although I knew he wasn't a true autistic, and it didn't help. He didn't get his offical diagnosis until the age of 14 for pete's sake. Much of the reason is because when he was small they didn't believe it was a spectrum disorder. Even when views changed, most docs were yet to be informed or knew too little about it. I spent a lifetime working on Travis' issues. Then in HS when he went to the tech school they had specific classes that addressed students social issues so they could coach them. Travis improved some but not very much even with all that. And to be frank, I don't know if he just matured beyond some of the behaviors or if all we did helped. Know what I mean?? So even if you had picked up on it early and managed to find a doctor to listen and then managed to get some help for him there is no way of knowing if it really would have made a difference. There is no reason Billy can't live on his own or at least make a major effort to at least attempt it before deciding that he can't handle the responsibility. However I've no doubt he can. Buck on the other hand is another matter all together. 1. He is NOT your child. 2. He is an adult who has managed to live this long on his own, somehow, someway. There is no reason for him to keep landing on your doorstep except that Tony is determine to enable him for whatever reason. It doesn't matter if Buck has a diagnosis or not. If he does I'm going to bet it has to do with some heavy duty partying days in his youth........and that is not your fault. Family helping family (and you know I'm big on this subject) does NOT mean let them mooch off of you until they bleed you dry. Blocking Buck's number will only be a temporary fix. Buck's not that stupid. He'll borrow someone's phone to call Tony eventually. Make good use of the time he is gone and try to show Tony how much nicer it was without Buck causing so much stress and drama. Hugs [/QUOTE]
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You know, I think PE is exactly where this whole drama with Buck should be
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