You might have a difficult child if....

[donna723]

Janet, I think it means that you know you have a BOY when all of your battery operated objects have the backs missing and the batteries are gone!

My son has been doing this since he was four or five and it drove me up the wall! And he still does it! Every remote control, every flash light, every clock, every video game we ever owned had the battery cover missing and the batteries held in with scotch tape! We bought batteries by the bushel.

 

[AnnieO]

I hide the batteries, now.

I'll never forget the day I woke up to discover that a total of 8 AA, 6 AAA and 4 9V batteries were missing. (2 mice & 4 remotes, 1 mouse & 2 remotes, and 4 smoke detectors...)

 

[ThreeShadows]

When you have had to ask your CD family how to get blood out of a matress and wall to wall carpet and you have NO DOUBT that everyone will have an answer.

Janet, you have a battery operated object in your underwear drawer???

 

[HaoZi]

Doesn't everyone, even if underwear drawer = closet or other location?

 

[AnnieO]

LOL... Onyxx won't look in ANY of my drawers after carrying The Box downstairs when we remodeled.

 

[flutterby]

I'll never forget when I found my grandmother's battery powered object in her underwear drawer. I think that's when I started therapy.

 

[AnnieO]

Just the thought of my grandparents having battery powered anything... EWWWWWWWW

 

[Shari]

They had batteries back then?

 

[Shari]

When you smell smoke in your house, and check what the kid is doing first.
When the school's number shows up on caller Id and you instinctively pound your own chest to get a jump on CPR.
When your 18 month old routinely walks on furniture 4 ft tall and no one in your home notices.
Your child owns 14 pair of the same pants.
You sent 3 family members in other states to stores to find 14 pairs of the same pants.
You keep 'desirable' food in your hamper and your trunk.

 

[Hound dog]

I'll never forget when I found my grandmother's battery powered object in her underwear drawer. I think that's when I started therapy.

 

[dashcat]

You go to the refrigerator to get the two packets of crescent rolls you bought on sale to make appetizer for a party you're attending and you find them both ....gone! You know difficult child did not bake them as any baking results in a hurricane-like aftermath in your kitchen. You begin googling "crescent roll drugs" and sigh with relief knowing she ate them raw.

You never have bandaids, gauze or ace bandages in the house because paper cuts and stubbed toes are considered mortal injuries.

You wrap chocolate chip cookies in foil, label the "asparagus" and put them in the freezer in hopes she will not catch on.

Your difficult child tells you a tragic story of her friend's fatal car accident and in rings eerily familar ...oh yeah, because this has already happened ... twice.

You have to physically restrain yourself so you don't throttle clueless family members who gnash their teeth because their easy child is choosing to go to prom with - GASP! - friends instead of the boy who asked her.

 

[Star*]

...You answer people "My best friend? Oh she lives out of town." Instead of naming the dog because no one would really understand just how important he really is in your life for sanity."

...You drive past the grade school, the middle school, the high school and secretly flip the buildings the bird and feel slightly vindicated, and also slightly GFGish yourself.

...You install new carpet in the once difficult child bedroom, and pick up the broken pieces of Matchbox car windshields, million screws from 10,ooo torn apart things to see how they worked, and put the pieces in a bottle because your sons won't live at home anymore and remember just how many vacuums they destroyed over the years with nuts, bolts, and pieces of whatever.

...You go to cut something, anything and realize you HAVE a scissor, actually you now HAVE a scissor, you actually have four scissors! You are scissor rich! Good grief, one for paper, one for material, one for scrapbooking, one just for looks! None for cutting metal, or rubber tires, or bike parts, or transformers, or prying? Incredible. Absolutely - OMW the ones in the kitchen are there too - Ones for cutting chicken! (happy scissor dance - NO - running with scissors all over the place)

....You can actually FIND the walk-about phones - all of them, and??? THEY HAVE FULL CHARGES!

....You have shampoo! You have conditioner.....and no more stepping blindly into the shower onto a cold, wet, washcloth! No more sloppy wet bathroom floor! No more Pee Pee toilet floor! Oh joy! Oh Happy day!

...Cereal? Did I mention I have it?

...Battery in my vehicle - Did I mention it stays there. In.The.Car? No more resetting my radio.

Stickers - Loathe them- I no longer buy goof off in the 10 pack - and I don't even think I've picked up a plastic scraper in 3 years.

Holes? Patching? Donnnnnnnnnnnnt miss that. Nope nope nope. I have a Masters degree in plaster patch. And I think I have frequent flyer miles to go to Bangladesh, on my Ace Hardware card just on drywall mud and sandpaper alone.

Trash bags - Got em-......."Oh yeah? Well I hate it here, I hate you! I'm moving out!!!" and there goes about $20 dollars worth of Hefty bags Every single raging fit.....I mean why couldn't the kid pick the cheap bargain bags every time he was "moving out" and "hated me?" Nope - went for the Hefty bags every time.

And if I had it to do all over again for lawn ornaments? I'd dispense with the cheap cutsie sweet little wooden signs and the wooden things - and I'd go for sturdy, 200 lb, kickable, concrete, yard art. Like pigs or donkey pulling a cart - something he couldn't pick up or throw and break.

Gosh I miss my boys.

Thanks Flutter -

 

[flutterby]

I thought I was the only one who flipped off the schools. In fact, I'm usually flipping off the phone when talking to the SpEd Director. Glad to know I'm not alone.

...when you spend 45 minutes trying to convince your Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kid that, no, the rat is NOT glaring at her. Sigh.....

...when you count dishes when loading/unloading the dishwasher. I had to do with her father, too. We have lost plates, bowls, and utensils. Not broken. Lost. Gone. Vanished. I have never in my life had that happen before.

 

[crazymama30]

When the world has ended more times in one day than in the stories of Y2K , and other doomsday theories.

When you have concrete from an art project in the carpet in his bedroom.

When you have to almost drag him to the faucet to wash his hands because you can smell them from across the room.

When your child yells, screams, swears, and you thank them for sharing their feelings, walk away and take double of your anti anxiety pills.