You saw it coming didn't you?.....

[everywoman]

Linda, just hugs for you and kt. I know that you both must be devastated by husband's decision. While I understand your anger, I agree with others that this is a great teaching opportunity. You have often, while not excused kt's behavior, understood the basis of it to be her early life and her mental illness. This is a great opportunity to teach empathy. husband, with all his faults, has issues he must deal with. He needs time, and you need time, and kt needs time. He was rotten to walk like he did, but...let kt see that he has his own illness to deal with, much like you, she, and wm do.

Hugs. I know it hurts. When husband's addiction reared its ugly head pcdaugther was 13, difficult child was 14, and pcson was 20. They had to see their father at his worst. They got to see me at my worst. They have been fortunate to watch us work together to rebuild our lives. Whether that rebuilding had been seperately or together, it was a lesson that will stay with them long past the hurt they experienced. They got to see adults suffer and rebound. They learned early that no one is perfect. They got to see humanity at its worst and its best right in their own lives. They are better people for having lived through it.

You and kt will survive this. husband will survive. Wm will survive. Hopefully you will all be able to rebuild your lives.

Hugs.

 

[Jena]

Wow i am so lat to this! I haven't been on a lot and i dont' know how i missed this.

Well, I think you got alot of great thoughts, and views and perspectives. I particulary liked stars there was alot in that she wrote that was so true.

I just want to say i hope you have a safe trip and that kt cools down and dont worry anyone would react that way, truly anyone. I hope you are doing ok as well.

((( hugs to all of you)))

 

[timer lady]

Thank you for all the thoughtful responses. I have a great deal to work out & take in......

Just so you know, kt has been reassured that not all men are pigs. Even her father isn't a pig ~ up until I don't know how long ago this morning, husband was a stable loving dad. I told her this is why you need to take your medications everyday & why/how addiction can destroy lives.

I cannot think past today at this point. I know I need to find a lawyer which has been next to impossible this holiday week. With kt home all week ~ well, let's just say that she's been glued to my side the majority of the time especially if I happened to be on the phone.

Again, thank you. kt will come out of this strong.

 

[meowbunny]

This may sound strange, but I envy kt. You are such an awesome mom to her. Even when you speak to her in anger, it is not the way many of us do. It is not something like "quit being a brat!" It is more of the "I will not tolerate that kind of behavior" with reminders of what has been done for her. Even in all of your pain and illness, she really does come first. You are truly a remarkable woman.

kt will come through this. She will end up stronger and better for all of this. Yes, she's going to be clingy and whiney for awhile but that, too, will end and she will continue growing into the remarkable young woman we've begun to see here.

Hopefully, your H will still be part of the Tweedles' lives regardless of where he lives.

Many hugs to you (all of them very, very gentle).

 

[busywend]

Linda, do not assume KT is upset by husband leaving her.

She could be upset that husband left YOU. She may be worried about you. She may feel some responsibility to care for you now. There could be a myriad of other thoughts and emotions she is going through. In fact, she may not even have gotten to herself in this thought process. She may not even be thinking about what this means for her in life.

HUGS! to you both!

 

[ML]

You are such a strong woman and KT truly is blessed to witness your strength right now. This is a dark sad time, but I have this strong feeling that the next chapter in your life will be full of healing, recovery and love. If you pray, pray a lot. Stay in the moment, keep doing the next right thing and you will be more than ok. I am sending prayers to you. Love, ML

 

[donna723]

Linda, the "all men are pigs" sentiment probably came out of anger and frustration, and from what she's been through lately, who could blame her. But that will taper off.

My own kids realized that wasn't true from the good example of other kids' dads, close relatives, and role models like some of their teachers and coaches. All through his teens and even his early 20's, my son was very attached to the dads of some of his friends and got himself 'semi adopted' several times. My daughter was very distrustful of men for quite a while, always waiting for that 'other shoe' to drop, but it was good in a way because it made her very selective.

Many hugs to you all. "This too shall pass".