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You saw it coming didn't you?.....
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 215791" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Linda - </p><p> </p><p>I know this is a beyond hard time for all of you. However I think this is an incredible time to be KT's Mom. You have an opportunity here to change history with her - take advantage of it. </p><p> </p><p>Right now she is angry, and feeling a ton of emotions that she probably stuffed but is old enough now to cope with in some ways. She says all men are pigs. Not true. And as MUCH as you WANT to side with her or not disagree with her - this is (where I think) you could right the wrong that is in her mind. She's already been dumped on by men as a baby and now this - BUT she NEEDS to know for her mental health and her future in relationships that what happened in your house isn't ANYTHING to do with her. And as much as I side with you as your friend - you really need to tell her that there ARE good men out there and not all of them are pigs. </p><p> </p><p>I fear otherwise she will be bitter and coast through life being a man hater and wreck opportunities to have healthy relationships for herself with men. Sure - what Dad did is hard to understand - but he is (you tell her what he is mentally ill, having a hard time with life, not standing up to his committments) whatever it is -but she really needs to NOT own this. </p><p> </p><p>Dad did what he did because X.....NOT because all men are pigs. I'm sure she'll process this with her therapist but your reactions to this situation will form her middle earth for HER life in relationships. This is when it truly skunks to be a Mom - because YOU want to sit and cry and get some much deserved attention (Lord knows I did) and you can't - not in front of her. Now is the time to be strong and say "You know what? What your Dad did stinks - but it's HIS problem and we have lives to live and we have each other - ALWAYS." I dont' know how her bio family handled things like this - but by the state of her condition I would say NOT AT ALL. </p><p> </p><p>I'm holding you up Linda - I'm so sorry to have to say any of this - but there are good men out there and she needs to know that. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs & Love from the other side of the hill - (standing over here so no one can throw daggers at me) </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 215791, member: 4964"] Linda - I know this is a beyond hard time for all of you. However I think this is an incredible time to be KT's Mom. You have an opportunity here to change history with her - take advantage of it. Right now she is angry, and feeling a ton of emotions that she probably stuffed but is old enough now to cope with in some ways. She says all men are pigs. Not true. And as MUCH as you WANT to side with her or not disagree with her - this is (where I think) you could right the wrong that is in her mind. She's already been dumped on by men as a baby and now this - BUT she NEEDS to know for her mental health and her future in relationships that what happened in your house isn't ANYTHING to do with her. And as much as I side with you as your friend - you really need to tell her that there ARE good men out there and not all of them are pigs. I fear otherwise she will be bitter and coast through life being a man hater and wreck opportunities to have healthy relationships for herself with men. Sure - what Dad did is hard to understand - but he is (you tell her what he is mentally ill, having a hard time with life, not standing up to his committments) whatever it is -but she really needs to NOT own this. Dad did what he did because X.....NOT because all men are pigs. I'm sure she'll process this with her therapist but your reactions to this situation will form her middle earth for HER life in relationships. This is when it truly skunks to be a Mom - because YOU want to sit and cry and get some much deserved attention (Lord knows I did) and you can't - not in front of her. Now is the time to be strong and say "You know what? What your Dad did stinks - but it's HIS problem and we have lives to live and we have each other - ALWAYS." I dont' know how her bio family handled things like this - but by the state of her condition I would say NOT AT ALL. I'm holding you up Linda - I'm so sorry to have to say any of this - but there are good men out there and she needs to know that. Hugs & Love from the other side of the hill - (standing over here so no one can throw daggers at me) Star [/QUOTE]
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