You Will be so Proud of Me

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Jen, Aug 26, 2007.

  1. Jen

    Jen New Member

    My difficult child and his family came into town last weekend and stayed a few days. The day they were leaving they got in an arguement. His wife then openlu admitted that my difficult child son hasnt worked since last yr, adn that he has been known to hit her. She said it happend that day. I called the police! My difficult child son took off priorto them getting here, and she would not press charges. Instead after theings quietd down he came back picked her up and they went home.

    Ironically that afternoon I was in touch with a fellow nurse about a frineds b-day party. This nurse had my son in an outpatient Adolescent psychiatric program when he was 16, she remembered him. She basically told me that at that age the Docs will classify the kids as Mood Disorder, but now as adults Bipolar. I talked with my son about it, and how one pill would help, just as if it was a stomach ulcer, or BiPolar (BP) medications not to be embarrased to ask for help.

    What this nurse also said, " It is time to give this up to the Lord, you have been carrying this to long. And when one does this, you have to leave it there and not take it back. Beleive and accept that you have done your part in all this, and the Lord says it is ok to let it go". Someone with an objective just validated my self worth in all this. She did not judge me or my son. She did not talk nasty about any of this. Wow what a relief!

    Now my son and I have conversations on the phone, but just plain, no expectations , nothing. How long that will last for him, I dont know, but for me it has to be that way.

    Jen
     
  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Your friend is right, and I am proud of you!

    She explained a term we use all the time, "Let Go and Let God". It simply means that we, as mere humans, do not possess the capability to manage or control things and how they are going to happen. the only thing we can control is our reactions to other people.

    If we let go...and let God handle it...it takes the pressure off of us.

    In response to your post about your daughter, my suggestion is to do as she is doing. Keep your conversations with her generic. Don't lie to her and tell her that you think she is doing something great, but do not drill her and ask her why in the world is she doing this. Keep it very basic. IF she asks, tell her you don't agree with her decision, but you love her anyways.

    My 19 year old daughter is living with the biggest tool on earth right now. This guy does not have one positive redeeming quality in him. In order to survive this, I do a few things. I never ask about him. I never ask if this is all she is going to do with her life. We keep our conversations lame. When I see her, I make a point not to invite him along. At this point, she has a place in my life, and unfortunately, it is not the same place as it was before she got together with the leprechaun. I don't have to like it, but I accepted it, and I just hope that one day she will open her eyes and see what a knob this guy is.

    It stinks.
     
  3. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    Jen, no one here is judging you either.

    Each of us comes to the let go, let God at different rates and different times. Some of us never get there.

    That's why each of us find detaching to be difficult.

    Congratulations on achieving this milestone. It's not easy. I know I waffle all the time. Every one of our difficult child's are different, yet they share similar characteristics.

    I hope you and your husband can find some peace.
     
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