You won't believe this one

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by RAZZLYNNE17, Nov 17, 2007.


    RAZZLYNNE17 New Member

    So the last couple of weeks difficult child has been having trouble with this kid in his transition class, this actually has been going on since last year, which i thought when i said keep them apart they were doing. So two weeks ago this kid gives difficult child the finger, difficult child tells the sped teacher and she says i'll talk to him. So last week this boy is cracking those yo momma jokes. difficult child asks him to stop numerous times and the teacher goes i'll let your sped teacher know what is going on. I e-mailed the sped teacher and she says oh yeah we had a group talk about how this is not okay. SO Monday difficult child goes guess who threatened to punch me in the head, yep same kid. He tells his teacher and the guidance person, they say we'll talk Occupational Therapist (OT) him. SO i flip out e-mail the teacher and guidance guy. They say well difficult child was saying things to him first which led up Occupational Therapist (OT) this. I asked difficult child and i know when he is lying and he says i have not said anything to him, also guidance guy goes you have to understand at gym this kid goes hey difficult child what a [edited by adm], and difficult child says well at least i have one. So i said to this guy i see nothing wrong with this, this is a typical comeback any 13 year old would come up with. The best part difficult child comes home the next day and said my sped teacher told me do you want me to punch you in the head is not a threat it is a question, yeah lets say i really flipped this time, they also said difficult child did not use the words he felt unsafe at anytime, he only said bothered me. Oh i was so mad at this whole situation, this boy that is bothering him has a history of beating kids up, he has severe problems and does not really belong in public school, i also voiced this to the guidance guy. SO my thoguht now is wait unitl difficult child leaves this school, and then let the princapal no what was said.
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I would be close to a rage myself, I think, if this continued. Have you thought about sending a certified letter to the principal and superintendent asking how they plan to keep your son away from this historically violent student since your son now appears to be a target?
  3. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    I would be in the principal's office WITH difficult child. I would tell principal and everyone else (spec. ed teacher, counselor, aides) what is going on AGAIN. I would tell them they need to speak to this boy and he must face consequences. (you KNOW your child would face consequences) If your child is not doing anythiing I would insist the other be moved to another class.

    I would be there.
  4. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    I would be in the principal's office WITH difficult child. I would tell principal and everyone else (spec. ed teacher, counselor, aides) what is going on AGAIN. I would tell them they need to speak to this boy and he must face consequences. (you KNOW your child would face consequences) If your child is not doing anythiing I would insist the other be moved to another class.

    I would be there.
  5. ShakespeareMamaX

    ShakespeareMamaX New Member

    It's JUST a question?!?!?!?!

    And I bet when someone has a gun to your head and asks if you want to die, they're just inquiring if it's what you would prefer, at the moment. Of course, if you say no, they walk away, right? Right?!?!?!?!

    :nonono: :soapbox: :grrr:
  6. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    A naughty part of me wants to ask SPED teacher, "Would you like me to discuss this with your supervisor, the Board of Studies and the local congressmen? And the media? And please be aware, I am not merely asking an idle question here, you DO have a choice, unlike my son who is in the firing line every day with this kid. Your choice - fix this now, or I will get it fixed by going over your head."

    Honestly! How can they expect a difficult child to hold it together, when they allow him to remain in such a difficult situation?

    Someone needs to explain the meaning of the word "rhetorical" to SPED. Honestly!

    And to criticise difficult child for having a good comeback line - so what else do you do? If you try to ignore that sort of thing, the kid ups the ante. I worked hard to teach difficult child 3 to not hit back, but he had to learn some good comeback lines to help. easy child 2/difficult child 2 - same thing, she used comeback lines to stop the bullies in their tracks.

    Provocation is not the same as response.

    And our sports stars don't help, with the sledging they do. If that is permitted (until it comes to blows) then no wonder this sort of thing is ignored by the staff.
    For sledging - see Wikipedia
    A classic example is Rod marsh to Ian Botham, "How's your wife and my kids?"
    And an exchange directed to (I think) Javad Miandad (possibly from Botham), "How come you're so fat?" who answered, "Because every time I **** your wife I eat a biscuit." That one led to blows on the cricket pitch. But the only action taken was for the physical punches which flew, not for the sledging that started it.

    So maybe the SPED teacher is a cricket fan?

    If so, tell him that this behaviour " just not cricket."

  7. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I can relate -

    When difficult child was in first grade there was a young boy in his class being raised by his grandmother. His mother was a crack addict and drank. He was a crack baby. At that time not many people had an idea what they were going to be up against.

    My son endured teasing, being poked, name calling. I wrote the school, talked to the teacher and then sent a registered letter to the principal asking that this incident be documented and this letter put in a file. Which she did. This would prove INVALUABLE.

    A week went by and I got a call to come get difficult child that he had knocked another student out cold. So when I got to the office Dude was sitting there and he was angry. I asked his side of the story and he said " Mom, you know (name) has been bugging me and you told me to tell the teacher, well she told me to quit whining (teacher denied it) and Dude said "YOU are lying" and (name) has been bugging me for a month and you wont move his desk or call his grandma and he kept poking me in the back with his lunch tray while I was in line, so I got out of line and went and told the teacher and that's when she yelled at me again and said GET BACK IN LINE DUDE, So I turned to the boy and said I've asked you nicely and now I'm telling you don't poke me - and the boy did it again, so I took my lunch tray and knocked him out."

    I stood there with the principal who was in disbelief that my son would make accusations that the teacher told him he was a whiner and to get back in line when he was telling on a student bothering him - so I asked if the principal would look in his file for a letter I sent registered regarding this problem. SHe did and it clearly stated in my own words that the teacher basically ignored my pleas to move either my child or this boy - and that a visit to her class room made it clear she intended on doing little more than yelling at my son when he was merely trying to defend himself AND that when I spoke with her in person she shrugged her shoulders and had no comment and no advice on the problem. With a copy of that letter? They couldn't suspend my son which is what they intended on doing. Instead they sent him home for the day.

    A week later, the same child flipped out in class. When the assistant principal came to get him - the boy kicked him in the privates and bit the inside of his thigh through his pants causing the man to have to go to the hospital for stitches. The boy was taken to the office and released to his grandmother. Later he was suspended for punching another student in the face and breaking her nose. 1st grade.

    So if you want to make sure your child's rights are protected - WRITE IT OUT, send it registered letter - and keep a copy. It's a little hard for them to put your kid out as a trouble maker when YOU have done what THEY ask you to do in these situations. Their just usually cheeky about "Well did you write a registered letter for the file? hmmmmm?"

    Good Luck
    Sorry this is happening - but from here on out be very fastidious at your record keeping and letter writing.

  8. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Star, that is EXACTLY what you have to do sometimes.

    And if you never need to refer to the letter - so what? Just knowing it's there waiting just in case can give you a sense of security.

    In this case? Sounds like time to minute it all in a letter, send it registered, then if things still aren't dealt with go to the school and ask why not.

    Also, maybe post over in Special Education, see what suggestions they have. It sounds to me like you've done all the right things through the proper channels and you're still getting nowhere.

  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member


    I would be so angry. I think I would be sending a certified letter too!