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General Parenting
Your experiences with/opinions on Residential Treatment Center (RTC), please.
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 385437" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>A very wise member (Rita) told me when we were planning for thank you's return from Residential Treatment Center (RTC) #1 in 2003 that we would not be getting a easy child back. He would still be a difficult child, but hopefully one who was able to use the tools he learned in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) so that he could function better at home. I have thanked Rita many times in my mind over the years for those words of wisdom. There are exceptions, but I think the vast majority of the time, once a difficult child, always a difficult child. It's just the degree that differs.</p><p></p><p>thank you was in 3 different RTCs and 1 TLP for a grand total of 9 years. With every single placement, the goal was for him to learn how to cope better, learn how to manage his behaviors so that he could function safely in our community, our home. On the surface, placing a kid may seem like it's giving the family a break and restoring peace, but in my experience that was never the case. Sure, we weren't dealing with- his violence anymore and that *was* a welcome change. And husband and I got to parent our pcs more normally. But the stress and sense of loss and sense of failure at not having my son grow up in our home... it was awful. That's just not how it's supposed to be. And having our family living in 2 separate places meant that we were always on the road for visits or therapy on weekends so "normal" in our home really wasn't terribly normal. </p><p></p><p>I know what you're saying. I hear the fatigue and exhaustion, and believe me, I totally understand. And I just don't have an answer for you. Even in the very best of RTCs, at the end of the day the difficult child drives the treatment and the success. thank you was in 2 simply outstanding RTCs, 1 hellhole, and the TLP was... well, it was pretty much the only game in town and it was not a good placement for him. He has not been able to maintain safely at home since he was 9 (well, actually long before then). I don't blame anyone for that. It's the nature of my beautiful and incredibly difficult son. </p><p></p><p>What Residential Treatment Center (RTC) did for thank you was give him access to intensive services that were impossible to duplicate while he lived here. It's impossible to set up the structure of an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in your home, especially if you've got other kids. What Residential Treatment Center (RTC) couldn't do for him or anyone else was force him to make use of those services, to internalize the lessons, or to make better choices. But it was the very best last shot we had at helping him become a responsible, productive, safe adult. </p><p></p><p>Jury's still out on if it worked. He's kinda treading water right now. I deeply *deeply* regret that I was not able to raise my own son. I do not regret for a moment placing him in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) because I still believe with all my heart that it was really our only choice. (Well, I regret Residential Treatment Center (RTC) #2, but... we do the best that we can and sometimes our best hoovers rather strongly.)</p><p></p><p>It is never an easy decision.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 385437, member: 8"] A very wise member (Rita) told me when we were planning for thank you's return from Residential Treatment Center (RTC) #1 in 2003 that we would not be getting a easy child back. He would still be a difficult child, but hopefully one who was able to use the tools he learned in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) so that he could function better at home. I have thanked Rita many times in my mind over the years for those words of wisdom. There are exceptions, but I think the vast majority of the time, once a difficult child, always a difficult child. It's just the degree that differs. thank you was in 3 different RTCs and 1 TLP for a grand total of 9 years. With every single placement, the goal was for him to learn how to cope better, learn how to manage his behaviors so that he could function safely in our community, our home. On the surface, placing a kid may seem like it's giving the family a break and restoring peace, but in my experience that was never the case. Sure, we weren't dealing with- his violence anymore and that *was* a welcome change. And husband and I got to parent our pcs more normally. But the stress and sense of loss and sense of failure at not having my son grow up in our home... it was awful. That's just not how it's supposed to be. And having our family living in 2 separate places meant that we were always on the road for visits or therapy on weekends so "normal" in our home really wasn't terribly normal. I know what you're saying. I hear the fatigue and exhaustion, and believe me, I totally understand. And I just don't have an answer for you. Even in the very best of RTCs, at the end of the day the difficult child drives the treatment and the success. thank you was in 2 simply outstanding RTCs, 1 hellhole, and the TLP was... well, it was pretty much the only game in town and it was not a good placement for him. He has not been able to maintain safely at home since he was 9 (well, actually long before then). I don't blame anyone for that. It's the nature of my beautiful and incredibly difficult son. What Residential Treatment Center (RTC) did for thank you was give him access to intensive services that were impossible to duplicate while he lived here. It's impossible to set up the structure of an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) in your home, especially if you've got other kids. What Residential Treatment Center (RTC) couldn't do for him or anyone else was force him to make use of those services, to internalize the lessons, or to make better choices. But it was the very best last shot we had at helping him become a responsible, productive, safe adult. Jury's still out on if it worked. He's kinda treading water right now. I deeply *deeply* regret that I was not able to raise my own son. I do not regret for a moment placing him in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) because I still believe with all my heart that it was really our only choice. (Well, I regret Residential Treatment Center (RTC) #2, but... we do the best that we can and sometimes our best hoovers rather strongly.) It is never an easy decision. [/QUOTE]
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