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you've got to be kidding me! *frustrated*
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 333842" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>I am so glad he had a good day! It's a cushion for parents' hearts when they do. I think it pads us for when they have those bad days or when the rest of the world looks at our kids and says "HEY you aren't like US or you're different." </p><p></p><p>At this point in the game? I once again have to go back to the USes and Thems thing. See people with physical disabilities in some ways get a pass that our kids don't. Think about your own attitude say for instance maybe at a Walmart. Okay - you see a child in a wheelchair, strapped in, flailing and being loud. Your first impression? Possibly - Poor thing or He's handicapped, or maybe even He must be retarded, so you may be a little more tolerant of the noise, and his family and even of him. Now same Walmart and you are rounding the corner and you see a Mom standing there and you see a child with no 'apparent' physical deformities, but he's laying on the floor, flailing, kicking and screaming bloody murder and yelling at his Mother over and over. Your first impression? Possibly - Brat. Poor Parenting, I'd jerk a knot in his hiney, If that were my kid, I'd spank his butt. Not "emotionally handicapped, ODD, Conduct Disorder, Schizophrenia, Borderline Personality Disorder, Bi-Polar, Spectrum Disorder." Why? I guess for a number of reasons....now put one of US (CD Moms) in the same situation and as the same and maybe we would see something different because WE have been exposed to it day in day out, and our best friends here tell us about it. So while it's still not "normal" or "acceptable" (by most 'standards') it's familiar to US. </p><p></p><p>When you go against the school district and teachers, and principals and counselors of most schools? The chances that they've dealt with a child like yours in the last 10-20 years are probably pretty slim. Maybe they've had some exposure to it, but more than likely at the first sign of any trouble with little Jr.? They've shipped him out and written him off as "a bad kid, or a troubled child with a troubled home,or they "assume" (and I love this one) that because he's the child of a broken home or a home with same sex parents, or a step Dad, or a single Mother, or a Mother who was abused, or a military child who has moved or a number of things that THAT is the reason Jr. is like he is CASE closed, they've solve it, and problem is now the property of the child and parents -whomever and in their eyes whatever goes on in their own little non-traditional, low class house.) PROMISE. </p><p></p><p>Well - the thing that you have to educate YOURself on to the point of ad-nauseum isn't unexplaining stereotypical mindsets of your family life and trust me it WILL be in their minds as THE problem - what you have to educate yourself on is HOW to educate THEM on NOT pushing your child to the rear of the class. Explaining to them WHAT IT IS LIKE to be and spend ONE DAY in HIS MIND. HOW it is like to hear, 1000 things at one time and TRY to zone in one a teacher when you can hear the clock ticking, the kid next to you tapping his pencil, the girl behind you fidgeting with her paper, and the man outside mowing the grass, the fan slapping the poster against the wall, the boy four rows over tapping his shoe. It's incredible what they hear---and thats just the tip of it. Their minds RACE like cars.....all the time. But most people even educators have NO CLUE what it's like - what hyper activity TRULY is. IT"S AWFUL - it's A REAL disorder....but because it doesn't come with crutches or a strap or a wheel chair - they're less tolerant of it and your child-----</p><p></p><p>So it's up to YOU......to say - "WOOAHHH.....do you have any idea what it's like to be him? HERE is what he needs. Let's TRY this for XX days." not just ship him out of here or dismiss him. BE THE SQUEEKY wheel. BE THE THORN. My sons school HATED to see me come to any meeting because I STOOD UP and I'd EXPLAIN MYSELF....and HIS position.....ad nauseum. But by the time I was done? I GOT for my son what he needed ---at least while he was there. And by the way - while he WAS in public school? With help that I made sure he had? Straight A's. SO go figure. </p><p></p><p>THAT is Warrior Mom. You live it.....You are it.....in schools, in Walmart....in your neighborhood....and you don't have to be ugly about it...Educating people should be delightful and fulfilling. I know for a fact that the children that came to school AFTER Dude - are better off than he ever was because of what WE did (me & Dude) THAT counts. </p><p></p><p>Hope this helps a little. I'm really glad your son had a good day! </p><p></p><p>Hugs - </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 333842, member: 4964"] I am so glad he had a good day! It's a cushion for parents' hearts when they do. I think it pads us for when they have those bad days or when the rest of the world looks at our kids and says "HEY you aren't like US or you're different." At this point in the game? I once again have to go back to the USes and Thems thing. See people with physical disabilities in some ways get a pass that our kids don't. Think about your own attitude say for instance maybe at a Walmart. Okay - you see a child in a wheelchair, strapped in, flailing and being loud. Your first impression? Possibly - Poor thing or He's handicapped, or maybe even He must be retarded, so you may be a little more tolerant of the noise, and his family and even of him. Now same Walmart and you are rounding the corner and you see a Mom standing there and you see a child with no 'apparent' physical deformities, but he's laying on the floor, flailing, kicking and screaming bloody murder and yelling at his Mother over and over. Your first impression? Possibly - Brat. Poor Parenting, I'd jerk a knot in his hiney, If that were my kid, I'd spank his butt. Not "emotionally handicapped, ODD, Conduct Disorder, Schizophrenia, Borderline Personality Disorder, Bi-Polar, Spectrum Disorder." Why? I guess for a number of reasons....now put one of US (CD Moms) in the same situation and as the same and maybe we would see something different because WE have been exposed to it day in day out, and our best friends here tell us about it. So while it's still not "normal" or "acceptable" (by most 'standards') it's familiar to US. When you go against the school district and teachers, and principals and counselors of most schools? The chances that they've dealt with a child like yours in the last 10-20 years are probably pretty slim. Maybe they've had some exposure to it, but more than likely at the first sign of any trouble with little Jr.? They've shipped him out and written him off as "a bad kid, or a troubled child with a troubled home,or they "assume" (and I love this one) that because he's the child of a broken home or a home with same sex parents, or a step Dad, or a single Mother, or a Mother who was abused, or a military child who has moved or a number of things that THAT is the reason Jr. is like he is CASE closed, they've solve it, and problem is now the property of the child and parents -whomever and in their eyes whatever goes on in their own little non-traditional, low class house.) PROMISE. Well - the thing that you have to educate YOURself on to the point of ad-nauseum isn't unexplaining stereotypical mindsets of your family life and trust me it WILL be in their minds as THE problem - what you have to educate yourself on is HOW to educate THEM on NOT pushing your child to the rear of the class. Explaining to them WHAT IT IS LIKE to be and spend ONE DAY in HIS MIND. HOW it is like to hear, 1000 things at one time and TRY to zone in one a teacher when you can hear the clock ticking, the kid next to you tapping his pencil, the girl behind you fidgeting with her paper, and the man outside mowing the grass, the fan slapping the poster against the wall, the boy four rows over tapping his shoe. It's incredible what they hear---and thats just the tip of it. Their minds RACE like cars.....all the time. But most people even educators have NO CLUE what it's like - what hyper activity TRULY is. IT"S AWFUL - it's A REAL disorder....but because it doesn't come with crutches or a strap or a wheel chair - they're less tolerant of it and your child----- So it's up to YOU......to say - "WOOAHHH.....do you have any idea what it's like to be him? HERE is what he needs. Let's TRY this for XX days." not just ship him out of here or dismiss him. BE THE SQUEEKY wheel. BE THE THORN. My sons school HATED to see me come to any meeting because I STOOD UP and I'd EXPLAIN MYSELF....and HIS position.....ad nauseum. But by the time I was done? I GOT for my son what he needed ---at least while he was there. And by the way - while he WAS in public school? With help that I made sure he had? Straight A's. SO go figure. THAT is Warrior Mom. You live it.....You are it.....in schools, in Walmart....in your neighborhood....and you don't have to be ugly about it...Educating people should be delightful and fulfilling. I know for a fact that the children that came to school AFTER Dude - are better off than he ever was because of what WE did (me & Dude) THAT counts. Hope this helps a little. I'm really glad your son had a good day! Hugs - Star [/QUOTE]
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