Baby step in right direction

**Mattsmom277** · 08-23-2011 05:22 PM

So I've had it with harassing calls from my estranged mother and estranged gfg bro. Both have been calling incessently, from their own numbers, from peoples cell numbers, blocking numbers so they can hope to catch me unaware. Leaving long messages on my machine varying from kissing up, to demanding "thoughtfulness" from me to keep them in the loop re: bio dads court case (Hello! Call the detective! DOH!), to gloating how they are trying to get involved as to be witnesses in the trial (Say huh? How exactly? Couldn't be bothered to find out although investigator did say my mother was interviewed).

I had it tonight. Just had it. I'd spent last night in tears from the non stop messages on the phone (I NEVER answer the calls). So tonight I logged into my phone company account, got a online representative and arranged a new unpublished phone number. It will go into effect Aug. 29. I'm being very select about who gets the number and each person has been or will be asked to not pass it along to anybody under any circumstances.

I feel a freedom coming on the 29th. The phone ringing has been enough to cause great anxiety even before I see the call display to know who is calling. So even innocent callers, just the ring makes my blood pressure rise and anxiety peak. No more. And no guilt.

My next "break away" may need to be facebook. GFGbro has been blocked since Christmas on my facebook. So 2 nights ago he created a new account so he could send me a private message, again demanding to know "what have I ever done to you" (Holy SMOKES, not worth the LENGTHY time to list the things or even to summarize). My response to his long blast of me was "Please refrain from telephone, emailing, facebooking or any other form of communication as it now constitutes harassment". I then blocked his new facebook account. If this continues, I'll simply quite facebook. I love the contact to those I do care about, most are real life family/friends, with the addition of a few members here. I'd hate to not have that but it isn't worth it if it means contact from such toxic people such as gfg bro. (Who I recently discovered is in direct contact with bio father at this time)

I love that when I called family to give them my new number, first thing each said was "if gfgbro calls for the number, we're NOT giving it to him". Phew! Thank goodness a few sane members of family exist who care enough to understand why I have to do this.

I feel a small bit liberated. I just loathe having to call the places that MUST have my new number, to fill them in on it. ugh! But it will be worth it in the long run.

Feeling oddly proud of this baby step.

**keista** · 08-23-2011 05:38 PM

Well done!

And BTW the places that MUST have your new number, don't need to know why it changed.

**Mattsmom277** · 08-23-2011 06:21 PM

Thanks Kiesta!

I was meaning places like gas, electric, internet company, s/o's employer, tax department, bank, etc. They will just get notified of number change

The few real life friends/family getting the new number well they know the deal anyhow.

**Shari** · 08-23-2011 06:28 PM

RE facebook? Create a new account, just in case, with a false name, or just change your name to something completely different. Let the folks you want to keep know who you are and friend them, and if the problem with gfg bro continues, YOU don't have to give up something you enjoy because of it.

**Hound dog** · 08-24-2011 05:27 AM

Well done. I hope you also invested in caller ID.

We're currently being harassed by dh's ex. Not that she's necessarily attempting to bug us to death.......But she's so overbearing when it comes to katie and knowing every aspect of her life that if katie doesn't pick up the phone just once or fails to call her, we get endless phone calls. I refuse to play the game. Katie is 31. Old enough to decide whether or not she wants to speak to her mom. And this woman doesn't just call once. She calls 20 times in a row and let's it ring for about 20 mins.........from whomever cell phone she's managed to borrow. So I never know what the number will be......I just watch for the area code.

Then when I see it's her, I pick up the receiver and hang up. Over and over until she gets the message and stops. That 20 mins of non stop ringing gets old fast.