Is Dr. Phil...

[witzend]

a bully? Seriously. I watch him about twice a year. Today there was a woman who had adopted a boy and she was clearly in over her head. She'd essentially given the boy over to her daughter, and her SIL wanted her to take him back or give him up outright. I could see problems with both the mother and her daughter's family, but Dr. Phil was all over that woman. One example that really stuck in my craw:

The couple has two other kids, and it was one of their birthdays. They called the mom the day of the birthday party and asked her to come and she was already on her way out of town and said she couldn't make it then. She had sent gifts with her ex. Ok, so she didn't call to ask about what their plans were, but they didn't give her an invite in advance. There was so much hostility at her for not dropping everything and going, but no blame to them for not giving her advance notice. What it seemed to me like was that they knew she wouldn't come, had a better relationship with her ex than with her, then called to rub it in her face that she was being invited when they already knew from the ex that 1/2 an hour's notice wasn't enough.

Then they all kept bullying her to sign over her parental rights right then and there or to take the child that she was unable to control home. No "What can we do to help you?" Just, "Well you have given up on this child so why not give him away?" It made my blood run cold.

[DDD]

Sometimes when I watch Dr. Phil I get the "bully" vibe. Most of the time, however, he seems to be calling a spade a spade and offering professional help with the problem. There are a few things about his show that bug me on a pretty consistent basis. I don't see why his wife is getting more and more involved. I think it dilutes the professionalism of his advice. Have nothing against here but she is not the expert.

The one who is really driving me crazy is Dr. Drew. I swear he has been indoctrinated into the Nancy Grace syndrome to drive the ratings up. I used to respect him. Now...I wait to see what the topic is before I decide whether to "click" the remote or not. If I hear his comments about Casey Anthony one more time...I won't even start watching the show to see if it's real or not. "I'm just trying to understand this"....makes me barf. He needs to know that the public understans that "this" is "the ratings". DDD

[Dammit Janet]

The show today on Dr Phil was a year or two old. I think I have seen it at least once if not twice before. One thing Dr Phil is very blunt about is his thing about not changing what you dont admit and that mother kept saying how everything was due to something else or because of this, that or the other. Always an excuse and never asking for help. He actually did say...when are you going to ask me for the help because I am waiting to give it to you and still it took her another 5 minutes or so and him repeating himself. She really didnt look like she wanted to accept the help either.

I dont really remember what the deal was with the birthday party.

[DaisyFace]

Witz--

I happened to catch today's episode, too...

I agree completely about the birthday party thing. That was definitely a passive-aggressive "Non-vite"...an "Un-vitation". And Dr Phil never called them on it. They also claimed that the child behaved perfectly at their house - and then in the next breath they said he cried for hours and would have tantrums and it was all the mother's fault.

So yeah - bully.

OTOH - she did not agree to the help he was offering...

There's definitely a lot more to this story.

[donna723]

I never really thought of him as a bully. He's extremely blunt though, says exactly what he thinks, and he doesn't tolerate any excuses or BS from people. The show today has been on at least once before. I thought that the woman did agree to accept help towards the end but I could be mistaken. But I don't believe for a minute that the boy was perfectly behaved for everyone else but the adoptive mother. To me, she seemed like she was completely overwhelmed, had no idea what to do, and was at the end of her rope with the boy but she didn't want to admit it.

[muttmeister]

I didn't see the show but I usually don't like Dr. Phil. I don't mind being blunt but he is unwilling to consider that anybody's opinion but his could possibly have merit. I do think a lot of times he speaks the truth to people who don't want to hear it, and they need that, but God forbid anybody should disagree with him. Then I definitely see the bully thing come out. And he definitely is not always right. But don't tell him that.

[Hound dog]

I liked him during the first season.

But unfortunately Hollywood got to him. It's like a disease. Then his wife was there........giving advice or whatever. Now I don't have anything against her either, seems a pretty smart woman to me I guess. But no she's not the professional and really has no business offering advice, not on this type of show.

I haven't watched him in ages. I do like his honesty and that he called it like it was without spending forever beating around the bush.......at least he used to. Sometimes that can come across as bully type behavior I suppose.

Once the hollywood thing took effect, I lost interest. At that point in many ways his credibility was lost. Are you really helping someone if you're also playing to an audience? kwim?

[MidwestMom]

I agree with mutt. I don't like him. I think he's mostly trying to entertain rather than help. I'm not sure what his credentials are, but I don't think they are much better than a social workers. I could be wrong.

At any rate, I don't watch him much anymore and wouldn't want a therapist like him. To me, the best therapist lets you come to your own conclusions with a little guidance. But, of course, he's going to offer some hot deal for help...to me that's where the people probably get real guidance. Hey, it's television

[Marguerite]

I quite like watching Dr Phil, but I don't think I've seen this episode. I usually agree with much of what he says but occasionally I feel he misses the mark, or actually lets himself get hooked in too deep with someone he should walk away from.

One thing I will say - he and his staff do A LOT of homework on every situation before they even consider having them on the show. So there would be a lot more that the viewer is not getting told about or shown. So his behaviour would be influenced by a lot of other stuff too. Yes, the family may have been deliberately inviting the mother at the last minute, and if so he should have called them on it (and maybe he did later on off camera - who knows?) but possibly what he was trying to work on at that point would have been deflected if he had changed direction. I don't know.

I also quite like Robyn but I agree, anything professional, she needs to stay out of. I met a woman last Christmas in the supermarket who was very emphatic that I should read Robyn McGraw's book, especially the chapter on bio-identical hormones, because women generally need hormonal tweaking especially testosterone when we reach "a certain age". The woman I spoke to tried to use the book to insist to me that I should immediately stop taking my cancer medication and get myself immediately onto hormone replacement therapy. She did not listen when I said, "I cannot take HRT, because my breast cancer was hormone-receptive; I would risk an explosion of cancer growth if even one cell was left behind, and I took hormone therapy."
I have not read Robyn McGraw's book but if it makes any kind of blanket statement that women in general should take HRT, then it is likely to cause problems for women like me who must not.

Marg

[crazymama30]

I don't watch it and don't care for him. I liked him at first, but not do much now. I think my real issue is why would you want your problems aired on national tv? Yes you should get help but why the needed for the publicity