his ex is off the charts

[Jena]

hi to my friends who i miss and boy do i miss you guys. about two times a day i think sheesh if only i could vent to them right now get some feedback.

ugh.

anyway, yea yea i'm still struggling with work my long hours the kids, etc.

well it seems that bf's ex is off the charts. shes' yelling at the kids alot, she's refusing to bring them to therapy, his older one was texting me tongiht because she was upset.

apparentley she has a bf herself, she's been depressed i hate to see her latch onto a boy yet at the same time it is what it is she'll be 14 this coming september, it's time.

so bf was allowed at her home, she went to kiss him good bye on the cheek and her mom (ex) saw this and began cursing her out infront of this boy. wow.

one thing lead to another they calmed, A his daughter went over to try to talk to her mom (ex) whereas ex than bit her daughter's hand because her daughter put her hand out to say ok come sit and talk to me. p.s. daughter said i think she thought i was going for her phone at the time.

this isn't the first time it's gotten physical. i want to call cps on her so badly. i'm not kidding. shes' explosive and volatile majority of the time i see the kids be the same way here because it's what their seeing yet after a few hours they calm down and become somewhat normal lol, whatever normal is these days.

it's a whole lotta drama i do not want to be quite honest. yet it sickens me that this woman does this to the kids. i have yet to talk to bf i spent majority of night calming his daughter down after i put mine to bed.

it's kinda at the poinkt where i think i'm giong to lose a serious amt of respect for bf if he lets thsi one go as well i really am.

[Andy]

Encourage her to go to the school nurse tomorrow. If she shows the nurse the bite wound (asking how to care for it) the nurse will make that call to CPS and it will be from the school instead of you.

Biting is such a more intense level of violence than slapping.

Make your decision soon to call CPS while the wound is still evidence. She may suspect you as calling but she will never know for sure as her daughter has friends in school and teachers how might notice, ect. She should have lots of possibilities to accuse but she better stop looking for blame and start searching for help to control her anger.

[Andy]

Another thought - Take a picture of the hand and document everything you know - just in case you need it in the future.

[Hound dog]

If you can get a pic of the hand, get it, date it. I also like the idea of the school nurse. A human bite can become infected and nasty quite easily.

This needs to be reported. Hitting is bad enough, but a bite is a new disturbing level. I don't think you're dealing with a mentally stable person. I can understand you not wanting to get caught in the middle, but bf needs to do something.

You could make a anonymous report as well. How sad, and more than a little scary for the kids.

As per the bf.......14 is a bit young without supervision......but Mom's reaction was way over the top.

Hugs

[susiestar]

Get a photo of the hand (NOT a digital one) and a newspaper with the date showing. It needs to be done TOMORROW b/c this woman is unstable enough to then try to blame YOU b/c she doesn't like you (you already know that!).

then you need to make sure the child sees the school nurse AND tells her that her mom bit her. If the nurse does not report it then you MUST. You can do it anonymously, but it MUST be reported.

If it isn't reported you and bf could be accused of allowing the girl to be abused. And with your job this could be a SERIOUS problem, as well as it being serious for the child.

If it wasn't this unstable woman who bit her, what would you do? If it was a stranger you would call the police. If it was a friend you would call the police (if it was an adult). It cannot be allowed b/c it is the mother. Period.

I am so sorry. She hasn't sounded stable for a long time, and it seems she is about to blow. I hope bf will finally stand up now that she is abusing his kids.

Sending hugs to all of you.

Susie

[Shari]

PS - I need to verify this....but I've been told to take FILM pics of anything like this...digital can be altered without being detected, so old fashioned film was suggested for any "evidence" pictures. Check it out before you take it on dig.

[StepTo2]

You can also use a cell phone to take the picture if you have an email address for someone at CPS - what you do is take and SEND IMMEDIATELY to the email as a photo message. Your phone will date and time the pic and the email system will do the same thing which negates the whole "doctoring" issue. SOMEONE NEEDS TO CALL CPS IMMEDIATELY. They allow anonymous calls and this woman is seriously dangerous to her own children. We've had this happen and after the mark fades there is nothing they can do. It would be even better if the poor child could call them or the school did. CPS has accused us of trying to create conflict by calling them, but when the school called it was a whole different ball of wax.

[Star*]

WHacka doooooo...........

Hugs for your kids.

[Steely]

So Jena..........how did it go.
This is horrible for the girl - you are right - something HAS to be done.

[Jena]

hey guys,

so, sadly enough it's not my place it's bf's place it's his kid and his ex. stuff like this has happened before whereas things get very explosive over there. granted bf's daughter is a handful without a doubt, yet she is only exhibiting the behavior she has seen IMO her entire life. yet this particular night it wasn't her being physically aggressive or even verbally it was her mother.

regardless could of been boyfriend situation or any situation, point is and whoever stated it she is a time bomb.

so, now the latest is bf goes and calls his ex and talks to her on the phone for a long time, surprise surprise. I told him today you are trying to "fix" her again, this isn't the first time this has happened whereas your ex has went totally off the charts with the kids and it wont' be the last. are you going to do something about it or take the easy way out and continue the same pattern of jump in calm situation ( temporary bandaid) and than wait till the next explosion?

his daughter has been asking me since last night if she can move in. this isn't the first time it's happened where she has asked yet first time she's asked me and he's actually contemplating it, we'll see. I said to him if you were to do this I'd basically be raising your kids due to you always working, he's never home just monday wedesnday all day and tuesday night.

he said if he did it he'd have to take all 3 kids! so i said well if it comes to that and you are chosing to actually do something this time i'm guessing this is a conversation yoru giong to have to have with me bigtime.

we'll see how it pans out, i'm betting he does nothing another talk to his ex, another sweep under the carpet routine, until the next meltdown occurs.

also if this was a one time thing i dont' think i'd be reacting this way, yet it's not the first time either.