Just Gave a Wakeup Call

[susiestar]

My dh will not EVER tell the kids to do a chore. He will walk around doing the VERY little that he does and gritch the whole time, but he won't EVER say "Do this" to them. We had a LONG talk about this a month ago. No change.

Tyler will NOT remember a chore. Does NOT matter if I write it down, scream it, say it a hundred times. I am sick of it. We don't ask much of him, just dishes. And he CHOSE to have that from a list of chores.

Jess is unable to do this, that and the other. She does have legit health issues that NO ONE can figure out. Mostly I can adjust and understand. But she has started to make plans to do stuff with my mom and those NEVER get changed. She goes to do something with gma and then spends four days unable to do anything.

Friday they were ALL told what I expected them to do this weekend. NOTHING got done Sat. Dh worked a 4 hr event at the Univ and played on his computer all day. NOT WORK for the class he is teaching starting Mon, PLAY as in video games. The kids did maybe 5 min of chores yesterday. Period.

Today dh had a long game and the kids spent the day with my parents. They got home at 7:30 and just wanted to watch tv and munch. Gee, that's nice.

I told dh that I now have a NEW chore strategy. I don't HAVE to take things away from the kids or make them miserable. I just have to make HIM miserable. I also let him know that Jess told my mother that we were in the middle of a major cleanout (dh hasn't picked up anything in the living room since christmas and I am UNABLE to do much - can't bend, dr orders to not lift anything over 2 pounds b/c my bones are a total freaking fully body break waiting to happen and I can't take ANY of the bone building meds).

I haven't seen dh this scared in a LONG time. He seems to be taking me seriously. I didn't shout, or order, or raise my voice. I simply told him that he WAS going to start making the kids do stuff or I was going to make him so miserible like never before.

I HATE THIS KOI!!!!!!! WHY is a simple request not enough? Do they think I am STUPID and can't SEE that things are not done? I have bad eyesight, but I have glasses too.

The saddest part is that I WARNED them TWICE. I specifically said that Jess was NOT spending the day at my folks when dh brought it up on Wed. That I was TIRED of having her not be able to function here to do ANYTHING but be able to go to my parents and paint their shed, wash dishes, help tile a floor, etc.... She either IS too sick or she IS NOT too sick. I even warned Ty that the "I forgots" were going to end up with him going to school on very little sleep b/c he could do the chores at a reasonable time or he could do them after bedtime and this INCLUDES showers. Plus he can shower before bed every night or he can wash his sheets every day b/c he smells at the end of the day.

I guess they need a wakeup call.

[Hound dog]

Yup. Sounds like they do.

It shouldn't have to be like that, but btdt many times on and off over the years.

(((hugs)))

[Dammit Janet]

Well Susie...lets do it together! I basically cant get anyone to do anything anymore. Tony does do some stuff on the weekends when he is here but other than its nil except for me. Billy basically thinks he is exempt unless I can coral him at the last second and get him to cook supper but that is hardly worth the effort because he does such a **** poor job at it that I think he is sabotaging it so we wont ask him again. The only thing he does well is grill sausages because he likes them. Telling him to wash dishes or take out trash is just an exercise in futility.

I do know that I can do more than I actually do. I need to clean my room but it will take me at least two weeks to get it clean doing it slowly. Problem is I am very sore and my meds arent kicking in real well and I am still getting used to the new ones. It seems like the oxy isnt keeping me out of pain as well but it keeps me awake at odd times but Im still really sleepy but if I get even woken up at all, Im completely woken up for good. And tony wakes me up because he tosses and turns continuously because his shoulder is killing him. And god help me, I have to get completely dressed everytime I leave my bedroom to go out to the kitchen which doesnt lend itself to sleeping.

Oh chores,

I came home today to find Buck washing dishes which was great but he threw out some macaroni and cheese we had the day before yesterday which we would have fed to our big dog and he dumped it right outside our front door. We dont do that. We never do that. All leftovers either go to Nina or out to the edge of the woods. Not just stepping on my front door stoop and pouring slop over the railing. That draws critters. And of course, Tony doesnt like it when I give him a list of things to discuss with his brother. I guess I need to just take the bull by the horns and tell him myself. Heck, first thing the both said was...here is Bucks w2, file it for him. I said no, I cant do math anymore and I dont do taxes for anyone anymore. I have been telling Tony to get Billy to do his for the last several years and I have no idea if he is doing it or not. Not my problem.

I think as long as Billy and Buck are here we need to divide up days for using the washer. Buck wants to use it every day. NO. That is too much water. He does small loads. He should do one load a week. Possibly two. He could do that on Thursdays. Billy could have Tuesdays. I can have Mondays and Tony can have Saturday and Sunday.

One of us needs to cook each night. That ends up mostly me except on Thursdays Tony brings home Chinese as a treat on payday. I assume that will stay the same. I believe Buck should continue doing the dishes. I think Billy should be responsible for sweeping and mopping the floor plus keeping the bathroom clean. If he wants to live like a pig in his own room, so be it. Im not going to fight that anymore.

Maybe we can get Buck to help me get that middle bedroom cleaned out. Who knows. I need to clean my bathroom out but I dont want anyone but Tony to help me in my master suite. I am too afraid of Buck in my area.

[Steely]

Susie...there are advantages to being completey single and I believe this is one of them...so I take gratitude in that one small thing. Other than that, from what I have read on our board lately, you are NOT ALONE!!! Many hugs.

[gcvmom]

(((Hugs)))