OK, Ladies

[klmno]

Am I being ignored for some reason?

I am starting to get feedback from my complaints re PO and I need a support group.....have I worn my welcome out here?

[StepTo2]

LOL... Not as far as I am concerned... I hadn't seen anything recently... But then, between crazy-busy weekend and then busy at work, I've not been reading everything!

So, lemme go look. And I will see if I actually have anything to tell you!!!

[klmno]

TY- it's just a time period where I could blow my top with DJJ and now am starting to get the lower-level responses which are about the lamest koi I've ever heard.
I wasn't getting responses on my previous posts so I didn't know if I should even post about this latest stuff.

[susiestar]

I am sorry if I missed something. I have had a few responses to post not be there when I went back to read the thread. I am NOT ignoring you or anyone. As far as I know you haven't worn out any welcome. Keep your cool, vent here, and PM me if you don't see a response for a couple of days. One day might be a migraine, but I usually don't miss more than that. I am having some computer glitches though, which is what I think happened to my missing responses on other posts. I also had an email I sent to dh just not be there. It was in my sent folder though, so I just resent it (it was a test I typed for him - bet his students were wishing I couldn't find it, lol!)

[klmno]

OK, I'm going to get this vent out now since you twisted my arm. LOL (JK)

Yesterday I went to gfg's mental health treatment plan that PO and super "gave me permission to go to" but said it wasn't necessary to attend. Now over the weekend , as I was reviewing regs and policies to prepare my letters, I found that both the juvenile and parent are SUPPOSED to be there. Also, I found that it's policy now for POs to get the recommendations in from djj 90 days prior to release (PO had that meeting 45 days prior to release) and then 30 days prior to release this treatment plan mtg is supposed to be held, funding for any required service lined up, and services put in place. Yesterday was 21 days prior to release and this was just the treatment plan mtg. GFG was not conferenced in and I was led to believe I didn't even need to be there, however I did go. So already, those policies and regs were not met.

Also there- 2 other POs for some strange reason, a person from state behavioral health and someone from sd. What I noticed is that they get these people together and have parents come every 15 mins or so to slam out these treatment plan mtgs all in one day. Whatever- it wasn't a by-the -book county mtg for funding services so I have no idea what the point of having sd and behavioral health there is.

Anyway, PO passed out a form- it said gfg's name and reason for commitment and expected release date. In the section for "required services", it said "group home and re-entry service" This is one of my beefs with him- that is NOT definning services. That is listing placement- reentry services can be anything.

He said gfg would get anger management and substance abuse counseling- well, that's what he's getting in djj and that's what this GH's standard is. I waited my turn then modestly asked about a MH tdoc (licensed). PO told me we'd talk about it later. I asked why we needed to wait since this is the MH treatment plan mtg. No answer. SD rep looked like she wanted an answer, too. I brought up that gfg was in counseling with a psych prior to first commitment and a licensed tdoc had been provided to him throughout both commitments and PO had heard that tdoc state that at last mtg and recommend that it be continued. One of the other POs told gfg's PO to write that down- PO said he'd write down that gfg needed a tdoc. I said "a LICENSED MH tdoc". He said ok but can I pay for it0- NO I cannot. It's his responsibility since he wasn't releasing gfg from djj custody and returning him to me. He looked befuddled. I said maybe gfg can get on medicaid since it's an out-of-home placement. Behavioral rep said usually county funds cover it- I said that's what I thought.

Then sd rep said we needed an enrollment hearing for gfg to return to school after his release. I said yes, I was aware and gfg is on an IEP so we'd need that mtg in conjunction with it. She said, Yeah that's right, she'd be contacting me soon if that's ok, I said sure. PO looked befuddled- I guess that blew his idea that he could take over sd and IEP. LOL!

Then , this morning I see newspaper article about this state djj- I posted it in a thread in the WC but no one responded so it's probably on the second page of this forum by now. That get me steamed. LOL! (The article- it just hurt my feelings that no one read it. ) Anyway, then a few mins ago, the ombudsman from central djj office called me to followup from my call to her last week. She said "I understand you all had a mtg yesterday"- that tells me she has been in touch with PO. She asked if I feel better now. I said Uhmmm, no, why would I? She said she'd "looked into it" and thought PO's plan was a sstep-down- now let me say that NO ONE has called this a step-down program except PO. She said she thought it was a wonderful thing. I said I was really in no frame of mind to listen to someone defend this PO. She said they just wanted to make sure gfg didn't re-offend when he finally was released back into the community. I said, well, that's not much different then saying you'll just keep him locked up b/c you're so concerned he'll re-offend if you unlock the door but you aren't allowed to keep him locked up for that reason. Re-entry is supposed to be there to help transition the kid, not keep him entangled b/c you're looking for a reason to prevent release. She said well, they don't look at it that way. I said I did, given that the decision was made without them even looking at gfg's file and they admitted that to me. So, I told her since there is no policy or procedure for filing a grievance, I had already written my letters to file a formal complaint against djj b/c as far as I am concerned, they have gotten completely out of control. She got quiet for a VERY long time. Finally, I asked if she was still there and if there was anything else we needed to discuss and got off the phone.

PO would have ordered tons of stuff if gfg was coming straight home- yesterday he was only going to order what the GH typically requires and offers at the GH. I didn't raise a stink at that mtg but got the objectives met calmly. I guess b/c i didn't raise a stink, PO told ombudsman everything was fine now. So is an ombudsman just there to smooth things over?

And do you think there's any chance in hades that gfg is going to have a tdoc and transportation to/from appts with tdoc lined up within the next 3 weeks? HAHA
PO acts like he doesn't know what to do- it's up to me. NOPE- when it's a gfg coming from home to GH, the parents maintain responsibility; when it's a kid committed to DJJ, DJJ maintains responsibility. It's in the regs. I tend to think PO and his super both are used to serving as probation officers but are clueless when it comes to serving as parole officers.

[StepTo2]

Wow... honestly I've no idea what to say except "clueless" is clearly more in the loop than they seem to be!

[buddy]

I am so glad you at least got to say some things and there were others there to hear it, whether it helps?? but I am glad.

The rest?? It has all been such a sad lesson for me... I am just heartbroken for you and gfg.

Your article, I was on this morning and i click every new post... I even click second page... I didn't see it... maybe that was when I went put Q's snack stuff together... sorry, I actually am going to go read it because I have followed your story so much and want to know....

[DaisyFace]

Hi K--

I have read all your posts, and I often feel like we are both lost in some kind of sick, Alice-in-Wonderland, nightmare...up is down, down is up, right is wrong. It's sickening and scary. And if I had the slightest idea how to escape - I'd rush us BOTH to the nearest exit.

I just wanted to let you know that I support you, and I'm sorry I haven't been responding more...

Often, I'm just speechless and saddened by the whole situation.

[StepTo2]

I often feel like we are both lost in some kind of sick, Alice-in-Wonderland, nightmare...up is down, down is up, right is wrong.

DF, k - yes... We referred to our situation as "down the rabbit-hole" before I ever found this board... It's so very true...

The justice system ISN'T interested in justice. They are interested in blame. The county children's services are interested in aging out and pushing so much ludicrous paperwork at you that many people give up. Those are the warrior moms and dads who aren't here... Those who have just flat given up trying. Even though several of us are at the "throw in the towel" point, we're not throwing the towel in on our kids - it's on those who are supposed to be helping our kids. We're pushing the kids themselves to the sink or swim point.

The fact is, "people in general" cry out and make a big hullaballoo about MH, but unless they are directly affected by their own GFG (child, sibling, parent, friend)... They don't act. We do. We have to. And no matter what we do, we are blamed for being bad parents.

But how can we not try?

[upallnight]

WOW! It seems like everyone is really good at B. S. ing! And eventually the parent will say ok and stop questioning things....and then they can go on not do things that they need to do,not even the bare minimum status quo. Even asking for the bare minimum is like pulling teeth, like they never heard of anything like that, but they seem to agree just to appease you and if things don't happen, oh well, they don't care. It almost seems like you need to be really FIRM, document as they sit there, get names, have every question answered and written down and mention that you know xx judge, and he's your uncle's friend and he's going to see this. Find out WHO you call if this doesn't happen, or that doesn't go as planned and ask a MILLION questions that you write down. Get phone numbers, catch them in their discrepencies. I know a principal- not one I work with, and her job, her words ----is mostly being a good b.s.er. That stinks, but it sounds like that's what those people's best ability at work seems to be.

Sometimes I read a post, but don't respond right away I need to think about it, or I'm in the middle of somethin gand just pop over every once in awhile.