Please send some peaceful vibes to me...

[HaoZi]

Hoping for an evening free from police and/or a need to hide a body.

[Wiped Out]

Sending peaceful vibes your way. (((hugs)))

[hearts and roses]

Well, I didn't kill him. Just thought you'd want to be sure, lol.

We did have a pretty big fight (loud argument, in polite terms). I fought the urge to run around closing windows...because it was pretty loud. And because it's not really hot here, I'm assuming that some neighbors could have overheard...and of course, there are all those ding dang walkers that pass our house because we're right on the corner of a busy back road.

But at least I got it all out. Without going into all the details - this all had to do with his mother. You may recall that our HOME was in fil's name - fil died - the house will go to probate so it can be put into mil's name, then she would quit claim it to us, then we'd assume the mortgage, etc., the house would then be in our name. This has been an ongoing argument between H and me (I've been hounding him for years to get this done BEFORE something happened to his dad). Anyway, mil called me at work yesterday - we are all assuming that she's still not found her footing since her H's death and is overwhelmed by all the paperwork that needs to be completed and filed. Anyway, she called me because she wanted to speak with the lawyer we retained for the probate of the house to make sure they were on it. Okay, it IS her business, but she's easily confused and confusing, but I gave her the number. Before hanging up with me, she seemed to go out of her way to make a point: She said, "Well, once the probate is complete, the house will be in mine and H's name and I was thinking that I could give him money to finish the addition upstairs. I don't know how you've lived like that..." Of course, I tuned out at that point because all I could think was, "WTF?!" I called H afterwards and he just started yelling over the phone when I asked him about it. To me, that's a sign that he likely had a conversation about it with his mother already - without me, which is NOT okay.

That is why I was so upset.So we had it out last night.

The general jist was that my bottom line is: We do the three basic steps laid out by the lawyer: 1) probate the house into mil's name; 2) Mil quit claims the house to BOTH H and ME; 3) we obtain a mortgage of our own and satusfy the existing mortgage or assume the existing mortgage...end result: IT'S OURS AND NO ONE ELSE'S. I told H there was no room for compromise. MIL is NOT to be on anything when all is said and done. I dipped into some things about how she refuses to acknowledge our marriage and disrespects my role/place in his life, etc. Of course, he denied that and again said his mom has mental issues, diabetes, and that's why she's the way she is. Sorry, not buying it. I mean, I do buy it to a degree. But she acknowledges his sister's marriage - why not ours? They helped sister's kids to go to college, and fil said he would help with pc's education (which would have been great!) but mil put the kabash on that. It was no secret over the years that there was a line drawn between me and my girls and the rest of the family and it hurt. At times, H would acknowledge this, but most often he denies it and says that either I am overreacting or imagining it or that his mother is like that with everyone (she is not).

Anyway, it got ugly but then we got quiet, H came over and hugged me (I asked him, "What?" but he remained silent)...H likes things to be cleaned up before bed time or before he leaves for work...but in the back of my head, I have developed a plan should the need arise. I think all women should have one and I'm angry at myself for this lapse on my behalf.

Thanks for the calm and peace.

[KTMom91]

Hugs, Jo.

[Marcie Mac]

Glad everything at least came out in the open Jo.

I sent you a few positive vibes and would have sent you a lot more, but had to keep a portion of it for me at the same time in fear I would be sent to jail when I hauled off and decked SO LOL