Poll from topic "Biodad, DH, argg!!!" in General

[ShakespeareMamaX]

If you haven't read the thread in General, you may not know what this is about. Although, it may be for the better to get opinions on this one, isolated incident.

It's your choice to check it out first or not.

I'm open to all questions, comments, ect...

Just be honest (and blunt, if need be).


DH calls me this morning and asks me to check his account as he had just bought gas and dinner and put them on his card. I check and there's, like, $58 in there. I, annoyingly, add $50 from my account and ask him what he did with his money (He gets over $400 every friday).

He hesitates...

DH "what?"
ME "I said what did you do with all of YOUR money???"
DH "it went to various vendors"
ME "ok. $100 to your mom for daycare"
DH "$120. GFG was there a few days, too"
ME "and the rest?"
DH "i'm not gonna sit here and itemize what i did with every penny! i gotta go"
ME "fine"
DH "bye. love you"
ME "(mumble mumble)"
DH "what?"
ME "i said, i love you. bye"
DH "bye"


Let the opinions begin.

['Chelle]

Just wondering if the $400 per week is your DH's "pocket money" to do whatever he wants with - you know, buy lunch, buy a book, have a drink with the guys - or is it supposed to be earmarked for bills, gas etc. Honestly, I too would be wondering what my dh spent $280.00 on in a week. Not that my dh couldn't spend that on himself if he had it, but I'd generally see the fruits of his spending, like dvds or airplane models or computer stuff or car parts for the car he's trying to rebuild. That's one thing about my DH and GFG, they tell me everything - good or bad LOL.

Has your dh had any unexplained absences lately, or working late a lot, or a sudden joining of a club or sport that he's never done before? Just wondering, because unexplained spending and absences, paired with jealous accusations equalled my sis's ex having affairs on the side. Guilty conscience can lead to that person accusing their spouse of doing exactly what they're doing in secret. Just the only suspicion I got from that. Him asking you to check his account probably negates that suspicion tho, I'd think, since he wouldn't want you to know he'd been spending. It could be your DH was just in a hurry and felt you were questioning him like a kid, or he decided to eat some expensive meals and doesn't want to tell 'cause he didn't share, or bought himself some expensive thing he just doesn't want to tell you about yet because maybe there are other things he should have paid for first. Could be lots of reasons.

[trinityroyal]

Shakespeare, I'm not sure what to make of it. Given the other control issues that your H seems to be having based on your other post, it might be tied in to that. However, it's difficult to tell without further information.

Is your H supposed to be paying for specific things with that money?
I suspect that if he were trying to hide spending from you entirely, he wouldn't call your attention to the draining of his account. He would just sneak around and spend. I'm not sure why he would buy gas and things, and then call you to look at his account.

I don't really know what to make of it.

Sorry I couldn't be more help, but sending hugs and positive thoughts your way.
Hope the mystery becomes clear soon.

Trinity

[ShakespeareMamaX]

It's alright, fellas. Posting a new topic. Thanks for your responses! <3