Gfg went to take her placement tests yesterday. She scored a 96 on the language arts test and 78 on the math. So she has an average math class and a higher level language arts class. I asked her if she was excited and the response was so telling. She doesn't seem excited at all.
We then went to buy a gift for a baby shower. One of her friends from the RTC is having a baby boy. Of course the dad is AWAL. This girl has a good family but boy have they been through the ringer with her. Gfg actually engaged in buying the gift. She usually doesn't care much. It was actually fun.
Then....She went to her "friends" house, the girl picked her up. She wasn't gone very long and it felt shady. Last night she was up late and she woke me with all her shuffling around. The window was open in her room and it smelled like skunk. We often have skunk smells at night around here, but the window open in a home with central AC was weird. Too tired to deal with it. This morning she showered and the same smell again. My DH is home on vacation time and he was livid-pot he said. She tried to say skunk again. I went out to the car and checked my wallet. I had 15 bucks hidden so I could have cash for the farmers market. Some how she found a key to get into the car where I lock stuff up-she got the cash. Again I will have to hide things in a new place. Think I am going to buy a safe-this is the second time she has found the keys.
What am I doing? Thinking she is going to go to school? Thinking she is turning a corner because nothing has happened for 5 weeks? Still no job. Minimal effort to find one. Doesn't clean up after herself. So what if she made her own therapy appointment and actually went? She isn't going in there and telling him about pot and stealing from her parents or a pending court date for totalling her brothers car.
18 is coming the end of Sep. I just can't imagine her out there in this state of things. She can't handle stress or responsibility. She slips all the time- no impulse control. Refuses to change the crappy music she listens to. Talks to trash people on the phone. Has no reality about what it takes to be a grown up. But, I can't imagine having to continue to lock everything up and be violated by my own kid time in and time out. I am afraid for her. Where will she go-she really doesn't have any true friends that would house her. What more abuse will she suffer if she is out there-she is so child-like and vulnerable. And all the meds. she has to take for her thyroid and metabolic condition-how will she do that? She is not consistant taking this stuff without reminders to this day. I am suppose to just kick her out and hope she stays alive.
Court can't come quick enough. It has been 4 months and nothing as far as a court date and nothing to detour her behavior...We go along for a few weeks and then bam!!