2 hour battle over 1 hour homework

[92025]

this kid is driving me nuts. i guess i should just back off and let him fail but i can't.

[InsaneCdn]

Used to go there. Don't anymore.
School is school, and home is home.
We decided our relationship is worth more than school.

As a result... school now gives him one period every day, where he can do his homework with school help, and stay relatively caught up. The only thing that comes home is reading. And... it's working.

We also found that the more push-back we were getting... the more fatigue GFG was fighting. In reality, after 6 hours of high-intensity concentration at school, GFG didn't HAVE any resources left for homework. But without dxes... it's hard to get accommodations. Even "mood disorder NOS" helps a tiny bit.

[KTMom91]

I gave up on the homework battle, and Miss KT managed to slide through (in typical gfg fashion) until her freshman year of high school, when she failed Biology. Natural consequence for that was Zero period PE. A semester of flag football at 6:30 in the morning, during winter, taught her better than I ever could.

[TeDo]

We had it in gfg1's IEP that he was given a set amount of time (a study hall - 1 hour) to do his work at school each day and as long as he worked during that time, what he had done was good enough and he was given full credit. I fought REALLY hard to get that but it worked. Like IC said, he just didn't have energy, focus, ambition, anything left after a full day at school. They also shortened his assignments to cover ONLY the important, main concepts. That was the school's idea and I was more than happy to go along with that one.

I feel your pain & glad I don't have that problem anymore.

[greenrene]

I am also one who refuses to fight the battle. In my case it was GFG throwing a full-blown hissy fit over doing homework one day (not the first time it happened, but it was the worst time and last time), complete with tearing pages from the book, throwing pencils, breaking pencils, screaming, etc. I have 2 younger children, and that day I decided that it wasn't fair to them (or me, for that matter) to have to deal with that koi. So I totally backed off from schoolwork and left everything up to her, for the sake of trying to maintain a peaceful household (which is very difficult with her, but still). The natural consequences have been kind of a PIA... She BARELY passed 8th grade and didn't get into the high school she wanted to go to. She is now repeating the 8th grade.

[dashcat]

I fought this battle and I regret it. In all honesty, I allowed myself to fall victim to the kind of pressure from her school that said "good parents are on top of things. bad parents let things slide". Not so. It all looks different in the rearview mirror. I would have the exact same unmotivated gfg I have today whether I fought that battle or whether I did not. I would have saved myself - and her - a lot of heartache if I'd just let it go.

[AmericanGirl]

What are his consequences for not doing homework?

[StressedM0mma]

I was starting to nag about it this year. Gfg started off great, but then when she started school refusal, it all went to koi. So, I have now decided that if I can get her school everyday, that is all I want. I am not telling her this, but like others said school is school. So let them figure it out with her. Not me.

[Tiredof33]

I fought the same battle with my gifted gfg. He would not do his homework and would make A's on tests so the teachers failed him.

The constant meetings with teachers that did nothing to help. He hated school and skipped so much I drove him to take his GED when he was sixteen.

I was told by a counselor that it is their (gfg) way of controlling the parent. Still can't wrap my head around that one! I'm so glad that extremely stressful time is over. In addition to dealing with the gfg the schools try their best to make you feel like the worse low life parent ever.

(((huggs)))

[DDD]

Btdt. I gave up that battle with my giften kid so I know it is difficult to wrap your head around inferior educational when early on you just assume your kid is destined to be President or close. SIGH! Once weed and arrests are part of his world, imho, you have zero chance of winning the school battle. I'm not saying your son will change his ways but it's better to have him at home in peace than excaping home to avoid battles. It's a rough road and I'm sorry you are on it. Hugs DDD