22 More Days

[IKeepPraying]

Update,

Had to call the police on my son again today. He was going crazy breaking things in the house. I tried to keep him from going off with his friends to do drugs and keep him in the house to study for his CHSPE that I am going to have to pay over 100 dollars for. He refused, I hid his shoes so he wouldnt leave, and he went crazy. Police came out, told him where his behavior is going to led him and told me Not to spend one dime on this test for him. They told me, let him figure it out himself and maybe I should just let him leave...so I did..I guess you can say I am now giving up....I'm done...I've lost the battle. On his 18 Bday, I am going to give him a card, with the statement of everything he has done all that his actions have caused, a prayer and wish him good luck....
22 more days..Help me pray for my sanity until then.

[standswithcourage]

I understand completely. I have had to do the same thing but dont give up. You havent lost the battle. We will help you get through it - one day at a time. Say the serenity prayer over and over. Good luck

[Big Bad Kitty]

Hi there,

Gentle hugs. I don't know much of your situation, but I can see you are under great stress. I did the countdown with my daughter too. So very sorry, and I know how it feels. Joining you in your prayers.

[IKeepPraying]

Well, he just sent me a text from his friends phone. Saying how sorry he is...and that he is coming home in a little bit....I guess he got out to do what he needed to do...and he feels all better now....well, I'm glad he feels great....I don't. He is probably high on something...It hurts to say, I'm not looking forward to him coming home. There is just going to be another fight, I'm sure. He's happy right now, he is with his friends getting high or drunk....or both. But when he comes here, its a different life style...one that he would rather throw away. I keep looking at pictures of him when he was little and innocent and SOOO adorable....And my thoughts are-what happened? How could I be sooo blind and not see this coming. Why couldnt I have stopped it? Isnt that what parents are suppose to do?...I feel like such a failure. Is it really so..that all we can do is sit and watch...watch our kids spiral out of control and throw away all those dreams they once had? All the hopes I had for him...It's all just gone...

[susiestar]

I am so very sorry. I do think the officers are right, that you should NOT pay for his test or anything else. I think maybe you have had enough of a beating on your so tender but strong mommy-heart.

It sounds like he is on a path that ONLY he can change. And it really Su@&s to be his mom.

Others will be by with more help.

Gentle Hugs,

Susie

[gottaloveem]

Why couldnt I have stopped it? Isnt that what parents are suppose to do?...I feel like such a failure. Is it really so..that all we can do is sit and watch...watch our kids spiral out of control and throw away all those dreams they once had? All the hopes I had for him...It's all just gone...

It is not your fault. Using drugs and alcohol is a choice he is making. Now his choices are ruining his life and he still chooses to use. The best you can hope for is for him to hit rock bottom. Usually that's what it takes before a person stops abusing drugs and alcohol. No matter what you did, what parenting technique you used, how early you learned of his drug use, if he was determined enough, he would've found a way to use.

Over the years we have had some very determined kids here on conduct disorders. My son was a perfect example. If you have noticed in my signature, we lost our oldest son almost two years ago. This was due to a drug overdose. My son was determined to do what he wanted no matter what consequences my husband and I gave him. He had no license, no money, no rides to anywhere but work and school. We went through hell and back and to hell again. He spent time in juvy (one month) after my husband made the heart wrenching decision to call the cops on him. Nothing seemed to phase him. His behavior was awful, we didn't realize how heavy into drugs he was until about 6 weeks before he died. He finally admitted he was addicted to heroin, he tried to go cold turkey to quit, it was horrible. Finally they gave him suboxone and he was able to stop using. He was clean for three weeks till he relapsed and died. We miss our son so much it breaks my heart everyday, he could've had such a nicer life. He was extremely bright, funny, and had a personality that owned a room. He could've done so much with his life. It's like when he was around 14, he took the wrong path and my husband and I spent the rest of his life trying to chase him to get him to turn around.

You say you have lost hope and I do understand that. I know it's hard to have hope when our kids become addicts but some do change. I just had lunch with a friend yesterday, he is 2 1/2 years sober. He hit his bottom at 44 years old. He had a huge problem with drugs and alcohol. He is doing great. Granted he is much older, his problems started for him in his early 20's. He once again reminded me that my sons drug problem belonged to my son. That we as parents did not cause this for him. That the decision to stop was a decision only my son could've made.

Think about going to an alanon or narcanon meeting. There is also a group called families anonymous. I think any of these meetings will provide the support that you need.

[IKeepPraying]

So sorry for your loss...Your son and my son are almost exactly a year apart. My son's Bday is 3/12/90.. My gosh, that is my fear...My son is so reckless that I fear that everyday. I go through these phases all the time, anger, hurt, fear, guilt, sadness. Its like a roller coaster ride for me.....Thank you for your reply and again I am so sorry for your loss........



21 more days

[Shari]

I'm not sure where you live, but have you considered calling the cops to meet him when he comes home high or drunk? In our state, being intoxicated will get a minor in possession charge and a stint with jeuvie. It probably won't help him in the long run, but it might keep him under thumb til most of the 21 more days pass.

[DDD]

I can't give any words of wisdom but I can send understanding thoughts.
So many of us are on this lose/lose road and the pain we feel is the universal pain of parenting GFGs. I'm sorry for your hurting heart. DDD

[IKeepPraying]

I'm not sure where you live, but have you considered calling the cops to meet him when he comes home high or drunk? In our state, being intoxicated will get a minor in possession charge and a stint with jeuvie. It probably won't help him in the long run, but it might keep him under thumb til most of the 21 more days pass.

I did about 2 weeks ago, just waiting to hear from someone. Right Now, he is leaving early and coming back late. I think he may be waiting for it to wear off. He thinks he is just going to get a slap on the hand because his other friends did. But he is forgetting about his 2 felonies that he had...So we will see, my plan is to go to the court when we get called and explain to them that my son is in need of help