Discharged; not good

***DDD*** · 12-17-2008 10:15 AM

Hmmmmmmm....I "may be kicked off the Board for tackiness" BUT (can you hear me faintly whisper??)...there is a bonafide fear that your teen "may"
think he is "Billy Bad ***" since he was involuntarily discharged. His peers
(and I assume he has using peers) will either make a joke of it or will try to make him a hero for beating the system.

As I shared before, my teen did not "buck" (an expression embraced by teen boys who are in any part of the system) when I presented treatment
alternatives. Truly he was an awesome loving teen who respected that the best effort was being made for him. I would never had suggested that I was going to "send him to a place where he would be locked down".

That has the connotation of punishing an out-of-control delinquent kid. It may just be semantics but to my children it was a presentation of
the best choices available IF you want to change your lifestyle back to a healthy one. Maybe it is because I have claustrophobia

but going to
a residential treatment facility was his choice. Yes, the doors are locked
but so are the doors to our home. He was never going to be forced to stay because (at least with his personality) that would completely defeat the purpose.

Treatment before 18 is best. Financially it is doable. It is easier to change habits the younger you are. Some kids find the idea of going away a bit exciting. No treatment is guaranteed. Where we live the AA and NA meetings are almost exclusively visited by "old people" and "very heavy users". Some groups do not even allow "newcomers".

Explore all your choices. Cross your fingers. I'm rooting for you all. DDD

**maril** · 12-18-2008 05:37 AM

Thanks, rejectedmom and DDD.

Last weekend, I left multiple messages at facilities regarding home-based/wrap around. Only one reply, so far - no go - autistic children only.

GFGs pdoc also referred us to case manager for home-based; left msg with that case manager; awaiting return call. (We were told by pdoc it could be six weeks until ball gets rolling; paperwork, etc. - need to get going.)

I called and left messages with manager of outpatient facility where GFG was discharged; she has not called back; I was told by therapist, who said GFG was discharged that the manager would be calling us to confirm but never received that confirmation call; hence, my multiple calls to her with messages left as to GFGs current status.

GFGs pdoc also said he is still in need of D&A rehab program. Don't know if my insurance will approve a switch to another facility; have not explored that yet; still waiting for other facility manager to confirm my son's discharge.

GFG continues off-and-on attendance at school. That is part of the reason for the home-based services request. He is failing school, also.

I hope he/we can get some help before he turns 18.

**maril** · 12-18-2008 06:58 AM

Just listened to my phone messages and found out that GFG is suspended from program but can go back for reeval process in 30 days and be reassigned.

**MidwestMom** · 12-18-2008 04:23 PM

Ok, well, they have VERY strict rules for any psychiatric facility or rehab program. They have to try to keep everyone safe plus they want motivated people who really WANT to do well, and breaking rules is a red flag. My daughter told me that if you want to get high the best place to go is an NA meeting parking lot. I guess the "inside" rule is there for a reason. I am so sorry that this happened. Yes, it CAN be a long long ride. It can take ten years. It can take two months. It really depends on how motivated your son is to get clean and sober. Nobody can do it but himself. Rehab programs help, but they don't do the work. The person has to do it. (((Hugs))) Been there with daughter and she DID get clean, but not until she wanted to!