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Thread: And ...he's GONE (again)

  1. #21
    CD enthusiast
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    376

    Re: And ...he's GONE (again)

    What about calling a local Celebrate Recovery leader? They should know about resources.

    Here's a link to the link of CR meetings. It will have contact names/numbers. GroupFinder | Celebrate Recovery
    Me: 50, trying to find some peace among the chaos.

    GFG: 18, alcohol, Wellbutrin, possible bipolar, in college and I'm hoping he will pass, court soon for DUI and third degree theft.

    Bio Dad: abusive to both of us. Gone since gfg was 4.

    Two cats....sweetest little souls I know.

  2. #22
    Roll With It susiestar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Oklahoma
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    17,798

    Re: And ...he's GONE (again)

    (((((hugs)))))

    I know it might be hard, but a lot of people find it easier to stay sober when they are NOT in their familiar town. This is why many interventions end up with people travelling to get to a facility. The important thing is not if the rehab/sober house is geographically close to you, but is a program that is the best fit for gfg. Given the neuro issue, when you are able to do some research you might want to look at medical based programs where a doctor would know about neuro issues and could tailor the program to fit what gfg needs. I do not have a clue if this is something that often accompanies addiction, but if nothing else a program in an area with a top neuro doc would maybe be an idea?
    Susie - Mom of 3, only 2 live at home.
    Wiz -pc/gfg- 18yo son in COLLEGE!
    J - pc-15yo dau, Homeschool 9th gr, sweetie!
    T - pc 10yo son - SID, 4rd gr. Inventor
    Dh - my best friend
    Cats-Captain Morgan

    http://www.conductdisorders.com/foru...evaluation-10/

  3. #23
    Wise Warrior Signorina's Avatar
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    Aug 2011
    Location
    Midwest, wish it were Rome
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    1,083

    Re: And ...he's GONE (again)

    Susie - for reference sake - my son had a head injury (a second or perhaps 3rd concussion) due to an assault (one helluva sucker punch) his second week of college last year. He actually had a bald spot where his head hit the ground and he had a serious eye injury from the blow. That seems to be the turning point in his life. Whether this downturn is merely a coincidence, neurological due to the head injury or psychological due to the traumatic nature -- I don't know. He did receive medical treatment and good follow up care. I understand that post concussive syndrome is diagnosed in the absence of other diagnoses. If I had to bet, I would think it was mostly psychological due to the traumatic event and making bad choices that led to more bad choices. But IDK.

    I did look online and we are woefully short of resources here. But I have a list and that's what I like -- A LIST. Funny thing is I think it's his situation in college town that IS the issue and the college town is the worst place for him - and 4+ hours away - but that's where the better resources seem to be. I'd like somewhere closer for family participation and to remove him from the influences - but I am putting the cart way before the horse. There are good programs here - but none are inpatient which is a must. He cannot live here. The other alternative may be out of state. I understand there are good places in AZ but haven't gotten that far.

    But again, he needs to WANT help and he is about a million miles away from that right now.
    Me-44:happily married for 21+ yrs, learning to detach
    DH-48:great dad-love of my life
    GFG-son 20 pothead+ & college dropout. Estranged. Thinks we are the problem. Lies, manipulates, calculates. Moved back to college town rather than get help. Miss him so but no longer the sweet boy we raised. Broke my heart.
    PC17 son: great kid, hard worker, old soul. HS senior with a bright future.
    PC15 son: a delight-1 foot in boyhood & another in adulthood, gawky HS Freshman

  4. #24
    Roll With It susiestar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Oklahoma
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    Re: And ...he's GONE (again)

    I wasn't aware of the extent of his injury, and I am sorry he was attacked. I hate that he had to go through that. I do think we are learning a lot of info about the long term problems from concussions and that it may be a factor that will have to be accounted for in future therapy. I also think that the trauma from the attack could make the "escape" caused by drugs seem very very appealing. It sounds like that might be a huge issue and something that has led to his drug use. I do think you are right in that he has to WANT the help before any of it matters.

    From experience, having records of what has gone on WILL help when he wants help. It isn't like you can forget it, but hang on to the info and when he is ready, be sure that the counselor knows.

    I know what you mean about having a list. I always feel better with a questionable situation when I have a list. I really hope that he can see how bad the road is before much longer.

    I truly admire the strength that you have handled this wth, and the grace. I know it doesn't feel like it from your POV, but you have done the best job possible of handling this. You didn't give endless chances, you didn't enable for years and years, you faced the problems and took the best actions to allow rational decision making and to NOT drag the chaos out or inflict too much of it on the other kids. You didn't hide your head in the sand and pretend that it was a "normal" phase either. Your sons are blessed to have such strong and caring parents. ALL of them.
    Susie - Mom of 3, only 2 live at home.
    Wiz -pc/gfg- 18yo son in COLLEGE!
    J - pc-15yo dau, Homeschool 9th gr, sweetie!
    T - pc 10yo son - SID, 4rd gr. Inventor
    Dh - my best friend
    Cats-Captain Morgan

    http://www.conductdisorders.com/foru...evaluation-10/

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