Pam, welcome! Your story is similar to mine and i totally understand the fear of kicking him out etc. It has got to be the most frightening thing i have ever done. I know for me what pushed me to really take a stand is i have a younger daughter and i could not let her continue to live in the utter chaos that was our life when our son was home. None of us wqnted to be home because it was so awful. The other thing i realized at the time (my son was 18) was that i was not helping him by letting him live at home flqgrantly violating all our rules ( which were very basic) . Society does not work that way! So finally we did kick him out.
I wish i could say he immediately went to rehab and all was fine. It was a much ore arduous journey than that which included several arrests, time in jail, severalr rehabs and sober houses, time living literally on the street.....but now he is 20 and is in a program that seems to be making a real difference and he is doing better. I know without a doubt he would not be here if i had not kicked him out and let those things happen, although they totally roke my heartnwhe they did.