I never ever get a straight answer - Update

[Signorina]

Nancy -I feel like your dau is walking further and further away from the (bad) fork in the road. Such wonderful news

[Nancy]

Sig I hope and pray she is. When I saw her yesterday and we went to the AA meeting I was encouraged that she seems to be very level headed. She has a sponsor now and is working the steps. She stopped seeing this one guy because she said she wanted something more substantial than he was willing to give. That is huge because she is like your son with relationships, she will hang on and hang on even after it is clear that it is over. I think that's progress but I don't want her rushing into a relationship with someone else and right now she is interested in another guy in the program who I'm not sure I like from his fb. She reminds me they are all addicts and so they all have things in their past. I am very good now at not lecturing and just asking questions.

She did ask me to take her to the grocery store to get some ingredients to make some dinners and she pulled out several printed recipes from her purse that she was making, lemon chicken, chicken fahitas and something else.

I reminded her that it was almost a year ago when she moved out and in with the pothead and her decline really escalated and said I would be happy when the next anniversary would be when she entered the sober house and was really serious about getting sober. We taked about a friend of hers that had her one year last month and then relapsed on adderall and how she had to start over now and how several of the girls in the first sober house said they missed my cookie care packages so I am going to bake some cookies and send them over.

It became very clear to me tonight that these people stay sober with the help of other addicts. Before the meeting a young man came in and was talking to one of the directors of a men's sober house. He had just gotten out of jail the other day after three years and he said he is sober and doesn't even smoke cigarettes and worked out every day and feels great. The director asked where he was living and he said he needed a place and he told him to call him this morning and he would get him into a sober house. The young man was so grateful and said he needed that support. While he is just starting his recovery he looks like a young man who can really achieve it with help and support and that's what this program does. It made me so grateful that there are people out there who really do want to help.

Nancy

[susiestar]

She is making such great progress, Nancy! She really seems to be in a good place. I hope and pray that she is finally ready for the pressure of an anniversary to not be too much to handle sober, and it sounds like she is.

Isn't it ironic that it is other addicts who get you into drug abuse and addiction and generally it is mainly other addicts who can also help you get out of abusing and into recovery? Ironic and wonderful all at the same time!

[Nancy]

susie I hadn't thought about it that way but it is very ironic.

Gfg went to the bank on her lunch hour and asked for the branch manager. It turns out the branch maanager is the one who gave her the ATM card. The manager was shocked and said "OMG I don't know how that happened" and then thanked gfg for being honest. So she gave her a new ATM card and tied it to gfg's correct checking account and debitted the $20 that she withdrew Friday.

Nancy

[Kathy813]

Wow. I hope that your GFG is very proud of herself. Not many people, not to mention GFGs, would have been that honest.

~Kathy

[Nancy]

LOL Kathy, well I honestly think she thought we put that in her account and was calling to thank us.

Nancy

[Signorina]

Just happy - it all worked out and she was honest & followed thru. Maybe she will change the board juju ...

[Ephchap]

Wow, Nancy, just read through from the first post - where who could blame you for being suspicious - to the last, where it was obviously the bank's error. Yes, after years of our gfg's behavior, we automatically go into "suspect mode". It will take years and years to gain back our trust, and I'm honestly not sure the trust will ever be there 100 percent. Once that trust is broken and they have lied, stolen, etc., our antenae go up when something seems amiss. I'm so thrilled to hear she's still doing so well. You're absolutely right in that they depend on a support system for their sobriety. It's crucial for them day to day.

Deb

[susiestar]

I hope she is proud of her honesty. I am! She must think y'all are really generous to think you would just put $5000 in there for no reason!!! You can be that generous to me anytime, lol!!! (joking, of course)

Did she tell the branch mgr that she (mgr) was texting as she did the card and maybe that caused the problem? I am glad the mgr thanked her - cause if she wanted to be stinky about it, gfg could have insisted that they NOT take the $20 out of her acct but pay it themselves. Chances are the mgr would have done it rather than risk gfg telling mgr's boss about the cell phone use while setting up the card and this mistake being the result. Around here they get fired for being caught IMing or texting or using their cell phones while helping customers. It is a HUGE no-no b/c it creates this type of mistake.

So gfg has more than just alerting them of the mistake to be proud about. She did NOT use this to get $$ out of the bank. I know people who would have insisted on some$$ from the mgr to stay quiet about the phone use and gfg did not manipulate them and had them take the $20 out of her acct when she could have doen otherwise. this is just AWESOME progress and honesty, imo.

[Nancy]

Susie I must have been confusing. The person she went to yesterday who was the branch manager wad the same person who made the mistake so no-one will ever know.

GFG did say to me that the bank should have to pay the $20 but we reminded her that she really did withdraw it. She was ok with that. I keep trying to teach by example because for some reason she was not born with that moral compass.

But yes I am very proud if her.

Nancy