Basic background is in my sig. Haven't really had much contact with my son apart from the occasional entitled, jerky email asking for random stuff, and the call from my cousin letting me know that my son wanted to go to my tiny piece of our family farm in Europe and grow pot. (facepalm) I've been wondering how he is, and getting occasional glimpses via Facebook. He has a very nice girlfriend, and gets along with her family. He's sort of working, and getting along with his dad somewhat better. I've been fairly content with not knowing too much more, or having more direct contact with him because it's usually so fraught with angst and drama.
So, I dreamed last night that my son was involved in drug running, and woke up this morning crying because it was just so frustrating and sad.
A couple of hours ago, I answered the door, and he was standing there. He's up for the weekend visiting some friends, and wanted to visit me. We talked for about half an hour, and nothing much has changed with him. He's still not on-planet, but he's a lot less hostile. He was actually friendly and pleasant. I initially offered him the couch tonight, but really couldn't stand the idea of him staying here, so I got him a hotel room for one night and handed him $40 for food. I know, I'm a sucker. I just couldn't -not- do it, KWIM? And he didn't ask or even hint that he wanted it. After a few more minutes, I said "well, have a good weekend and let me know you got back safely" and that was that. He also has my phone number now (although he hasn't paid his phone bill in months, so we'll see how that goes). I can always block him if he starts up with the hostile and abusive texting/calling again.
The frustrating and sad thing is that he's so aimless. He was telling me all about how he built his own hookah at Starbucks this morning out of a tea bottle, a can of red bull and some tubing. At one point, I was asking him if he'd thought about working construction and apprenticing in carpentry or plumbing (because he was talking about how he really wanted to work in the trades) and he was telling me how he really felt that a solid knowledge of chemistry and physics would help him in the trades, because plumbing is like a big circuit made of water, and chemistry would help him understand adhesives. He's also talking about how he's been "urban camping" (aka sleeping rough). I can't fix this for him, and honestly I don't even want to watch while he works things out. I did leave an opening for continued contact, but am going to have to set up some serious boundaries. The first of which is that unannounced visits aren't going to get a welcoming reaction from me in future.
Ugh. I feel like such a dweeb.