Should I go? Updated

[Kathy813]

GFG texted me to invite me to go out to dinner sometime next week with her and her new "friend" . . . the recovering heroin addict. . . his treat.

This is the guy that she met at the halfway house who has a trust fund and has been buying her things. It seems like they are always together. I texted back that I thought that she was taking it slow and she said she was because they were not having sex. OMG

Oh, and she is still dating Peter Pan. It seems like she is too busy dating at this point to find a job.

So would you guys go?

~Kathy

[Nancy]

Yes but I would take dh.

Nancy

[ThreeShadows]

I would take DH and insist on paying separately. This guy is too quick with the money.

[Kathy813]

It's all a moot point now. GFG just texted and said forget about dinner. She found out that the heroin addict was using behind her back. I'm glad she found out before they became really involved. I'm also encouraged that she sounds disgusted that he was using. He has left the program and the halfway house. I'm glad that she won't be around him anymore.

She also texted that Peter Pan really loves her and supports her recovery. He did call me when GFG was abusing Xanax to tell me he was worried about her. He told her that he would break up with her unless she stopped taking Xanax. That was the motivating factor for her to stop abusing Xanax. Unfortunately, she moved on to alcohol.

I texted back that I didn't think he was a bad person but that he needs to grow up.

~Kathy

[Signorina]

Totally agree. Double date - meet them there and split the check. Let her know beforehand that you insist on splitting the check and bring cash in case he pays in advance so you can leave your part on the table. Sounds like a power play from new boy. I've dated a boy like that (a longgggg time ago)
:"><shudder><":

[Kathy813]

Now she asked if she can bring Peter Pan to DH's birthday dinner next Wednesday. If you didn't read my other post on Peter Pan, we have never really met him the 8 years that they have been dating. Mostly because we didn't approve of him because he smoked pot and drank. According to GFG, he doesn't smoke pot anymore and doesn't drink when she is around. She asked if we could go out to dinner with him a couple of weeks ago so we could get to know him and I said yes.

I think it will be awkward but I guess we can get through it.

~Kathy

[Nancy]

Yay yay yay. It's amazing how fast they come and go. I'm glad she told you about it although just like my GFG she runs back to the other guy.

It's good news though. What a scrum bag.

Nancy

[susiestar]

What an awesome post. She asked you out to dinner - she wants to spend time with you and include you in her life. this is GOOD. She wanted your opinion of this guy - again GOOD. She found out he was using and is disgusted and wants nothing to do with him. AWESOME!!! She wants to include her boyfriend of eight YEARS in family things - GOOD. This gives you a chance to really get to know him, which is always good. If for no other reason than the old saying "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" really is good advice.

I do think telling her that PP needs to grow up isn't very productive. It may be true, but clearly she either knows it or is choosing to ignore it, kwim?

[DDD]

Whew! I'm so glad the trust fund dude is out of the picture....and still, lol, doubt his funds come from a trust fund. Awesome that she discovered his problem and addressed it herself.

Regarding Peter Pan I personally would not include him in a family celebration. Otoh I would certainly agree to a shared meal at another time. Obviously I haven't been all that successful at GFG parenting but I have always kept family time as just that...the stuff memories are made of...and GFG friendships on a different level. Lol, truthfully I'm not interested in bonding with GFG friends even though many have been part of our life over the years. It sure sounds like she is taking steps forward and that's great news. DDD

[Kathy813]

DDD, you are probably right. PC and I discussed it and initially she was resistant to Peter Pan coming to our family dinner. We decided, though, that GFG would probably be on her best behavior in front of him so we said okay.

However, I highly doubt he will show. He knows what we think of him and is "afraid" of me. LOL He is 6'4" and 220 pounds to my 5'4" 120 pounds. I think he will be safe.

GFG has been included in his family celebrations and spends the night there frequently. His parents love her. GFG told me that she told Peter Pan that if they were going to be together he had to get to know her family, too. I actually thought that was very mature of GFG.

So we will see what happens.

~Kathy