Should I go? Updated

[toughlovin]

I think it is great that she is talking to you about stuff.. and awesome that she left trust fund guy when she found out he was using heroin again. That is good news. I also think including peter pan for dinner is a good idea. You don't get to choose her partner and the more you welcome who she chooses into the family, the closer she will stay to the family.

My parents were always great about my having friends over and included, even the ones (and boyfriends) they didn't like. It was a smart move because it kept me close and eventually with the one abusive boyfriend I had, helped me in leaving him. So yeah invite him... if he chooses not to come that that is his choice.

TL

[DDD]

I didn't realize that she had spent family time with his family. That does change my perspective a bit. It would be more tit for tat. Our home has always been open to friends also and believe me, lol, all of the kids have shared too much info over the years, lol. Otoh family holiday and birthday celebrations have been just that (with parties, of course, being the exceptions). I cherish the intimacy of just having family at the table....and find those moments bonding times and laden with happy memories. Hugs DDD

[Kathy813]

This will not be at our house. We have a tradition of going to our favorite Italian restaurant which gives people a free dinner on their birthday.

I hope that meeting him at a neutral setting makes it easier. I haven't heard back from her yet so I don't know if he is going to come or not. Or he might say he will and bail out at the last minute. GFG has been known to do that, too. She has missed many birthday celebrations over the years.

When I asked her if she was coming to DH's dinner, she texted back, "Duh". I found that rather ironic since she had missed so many family events over the years I wouldn't have thought is was an automatic "duh".

[InsaneCdn]

The DUH thing?
We've found that... when GFG started turning the corner and improving, it we as almost like he was getting a new brain, and he really didn't connect what was happening now with how things used to happen. So, we'd clarify/re-check/etc. and he'd be saying "of course" and "duh" and so on. Maybe its just a sign of "new brain cells" developing?

[rejectedmom]

One can hope Insane. Hope things go smoothly Kathy