Sobering and worrying thoughts

[toughlovin]

Hi all,

I had a text convo with gfg yesterday. He told me that 3 people have died in the last week down there!
Two were ex-clients that left and one was someone who was on a pass home and was braindead and they were pulling the plug yesterday. I am so sad for those families. It is every parents worse nightmare. I also am sure it is hard on all the folks that are there, both residents and staff. I am hoping my gfg sees it as a very sobering reality about drug use. I asked him if it was due to overdoses and he did not respond.

I feel worried because my gfgs fb page has been dark and worrisome... mostly lyrics from songs but still very dark.

I got a call from his PO asking for info about where he is ... it would be best of course if he contacted her but I am going to give her the info today.... and that gives me a reason to call the place and check in about these deaths.

Sigh.

That thread I did not get to respond to about gfgs "performing" depression fits my gfg very well. He is so out there sometimes with his fb posts and stuff... he has felt suicidal before and I believe that but he also definitely wants the attention it sometimes brings him.

I don't know. I feel worried today.... and know that I need to just keep going on with my day somehow.

TL

[PatriotsGirl]

We are so living parrellel lives with this right now. My GFG's posts are very dark and worrisome, too. She even posted that someday she will be gone and everyone will be sorry, etc. It makes me scared to death. And then the next day things are great and the following day she is back down again. She slept in a laundrymat last night because she had nowhere to go. I know the best thing for us to do is stay away from their Facebook page but I can't help it. It is a compulsion. I know how you feel!! (((HUGS)))

Just remember, we cannot save them. As sad and horrible as that is. They have to save themselves.

[toughlovin]

You are so right... we can't save them. I saw your post about your daughter in the laundrymat and i thought too gosh there are so many similarities between us!!! I did call the place and although I wasn't able to talk to the main guy I did confirm that there has been 1 death and 2 are in the hospital on life support. All overdoses... 1 left the program the other 2 on passes home!! I think that is what makes this so hard though.. knowing what could happen.

And yeah right now I am compulsively checking fb again.... when he doesnt communicate with me it is my one way to get an inkling of how he is doing. However it is not really very informative since all he posts is dark song lyrics.

[DDD]

I can only imagine how you felt when he shared the news. Obviously I don't know the demographics or anything about the placement...but is there valid reason to be concerned about the supervision or care? Three in a week sounds over the top from an outsiders point of view.

Sending supportive hugs to you and your family. DDD

[Nancy]

I'm in that same boat with both you and pg right now. Things I have seen on text and fb and cell phone records have me worried too.

Since GFG had gone into treatment in Aug 2010 there have been at least 8 deaths of people she has known. One if them she was going to move in with and the next week he was dead of a heroin overdose.

I hope this sobering news has the right effect on him.

Nancy

[rejectedmom]

So many of us have these fears for our GFG's. I do not know how we get through some days let alone live our lives to their fullest but we can and we often do. I think because we have each other to seek advice from, vent to and cheer us on we can push through the pain. But honestly I do not think I would be a parent in my next life especially if I had the knowledge I have now and a choice. This is just too hard and seeing other people witth less painful lives, can make me depressed and sometimes even jealous.

[PatriotsGirl]

So many of us have these fears for our GFG's. I do not know how we get through some days let alone live our lives to their fullest but we can and we often do. I think because we have each other to seek advice from, vent to and cheer us on we can push through the pain. But honestly I do not think I would be a parent in my next life especially if I had the knowledge I have now and a choice. this is just too hard and seeing other people witth less painful lives justt makes me depressed and sometimes even jealous.

Oh yeah. I often feel jealous when friends post pictures of themselves with their daughters and everyone looks so perfect and happy. All I can think is how nice that must be and how I wish I had that.

[rejectedmom]

I used to have my PC#1. We were mother /daughter and the best of friends. But since her head injury, I have lost even that and that was one of the things that kept me going. Now she is all wrapped up in herself and her problems. She doesn't even return my phone calls sometimes for weeks at a time. Three of my children didn't even acknowledge DH and my 40th wedding anniversary. They knew we were celebrating it with a lovely night in the city ie; dinner and a show but not even a phone call or a card. Only PC/GFG, who is temporarily living wirth us, said Happy Anniversary. Not even a post on my FB page got a response from my daughters. i would expecxt that from my GFGs but not from PC. I understand PC's life is often overwhelming and her marriage is in trouble but the thing is, as soon as she needs me she calls. A brain injury has turned my daughter into a GFG and I really didn't and still don't have the stamina for another one.

[toughlovin]

DDD - I would be worried if the overdoses had happened while at the place. They all happened while when the person went home!!! That of course is scary too.... but they did not happen while they were in the program. It just shows though how easily relapses can happen and how scary they can be.

Through my work I see windows into other peoples lives... and really there are many people out there in different sorts of pain... we often dont know about it. So all those happy families may have things going on that you don't know about!!! At least that is what I often tell myself. LOL.... and I do appreciate the good things I have which can help.

TL

[Nancy]

RM I think I would choose a different course for my next life too.

Nancy