I'm so sorry, AG. I feel your pain because we are in a similar place. I'm a single parent to three boys, and my ex was abusive as well. Maybe it's an excuse, but I think tough love and detatching is tougher as a single parent because we are "everything" to our children. I feel the need to compensate for the fact that my boys' father chose his addiction over them. When my gfg was giving me a rough time, his counselor said not to take anything from him that I wouldn't take from a friend. Easier said than done of course! I want you to know I've been inspired by many of your posts. You are a very strong person, and I give you all the credit in the world for getting to meetings and reaching out for help. You need and deserve some pampering. Tell gfg that you need a break and won't be having any contact with him for a period of time. Do something nice and nurturing for yourself for a change. Sending prayers and hugs your way.