Uhg...Oldest GFG thinks he is Sooooo much better than his brother!

[susiestar]

I am sorry that he has so separated himself from you and dh. DDD and the others have great advice.

I had a friend in jr high who thought that she needed to "save" me b/c the church I was raised in (Catholic) wasn't "religious" enough. I was curious and starting in jr high my parents said that my religion was my business. They would give me rides to and from any church I wanted to try. So I went. IMO it was NOT a church but was a cult. I even went on an overnight retreat and I was fascinated. I had read about brainwashing (not sure why b/c I was 13 but the whole idea fascinated me then) and then got to watch people do it to kids. They used EVERY trick in a basic psych text on brainwashing.

but I got irritated with the constant, "I will pray for you." koi. Finally I just smiled and told her I would work real hard to give her every reason to need to pray for me. She didn't know quite what to do with that, lol.

I know this is hard for you. You always wanted them to be close in a good way, and this just isn't that. This is one for God to fix, not you.

[Dammit Janet]

I hate that I will pray for you koi and people who think they know what God wants. I dont know anyone with a cell phone to him. Oh thats right, according to Buck, all of us with fancy cell phones just worship them instead of having cheap $10 phones and plans. We should give the extra money to the churches. LOL. Sorry...not happening. I am evil and worship my computers, cell phones and cable. He seems to be enjoying my cable now though! He cant say anything about smoking because he smokes too. He smokes icky smelling cigarettes that give me headaches too.

[lovemysons]

Hi Deb,

I don't know how I survived the two of them either.
But there was a price...
My marriage suffered, my sobriety suffered, and my sanity suffered.
Found a solution in each case but I certainly was not "perfect" in dealing with the 2 GFG's.

I have spoken of young GFG's teen yrs but not so much about oldests. His expulsion from school at 15 for Terroristic Threat, His cocaine and meth use, his holding a knife to himself with police ready to shoot him if he didn't put knife down, his pulling a knife (butter knife) out on young GFG and young GFG calling 911 and police arresting oldest for Aggravated Assault, lol...that charge was dropped ttl.

Yep, these things and so much more, oldest has "forgotten" about.
DH was just telling me yesterday how hard oldest has been working lately. And all I could say is ..."Well, that must make him feel better about himself than everyone else."
I mean, what does he want now...A Gold Star! I didn't get "credit" when I got sober for the long haul...When I worked my butt off and did what a "good mother" does and kept up with everything and anything. It was expected!
Anyway, there is usually an alterior motive where oldest is concerned. I also think he is working so hard because he is becoming a "workaholic" (more addiction issues) and is chasing the almighty dollar. He and his wife like to live a very upper middle class lifestyle. In fact, they bought their soon to be 2 yr old daughter a 400 dollar "kitchen" for Christmas! LOL, I bought my other granddaughter a 35 dollar "kitchen" from a consignment store for Christmas. Well, that would NEVER be good enough for oldests family trust me. So we only gave oldest gift card's for christmas as nothing we would buy would likely do.

Janet and Sus,
I hear you...And ya there is something about religion and addiction that goes hand in hand imo. Now, what I do like about AA is that they say, "Live and Let Live" and to find the G-d (or Higher Power) of your OWN understanding. It's not about a Superior G-d or shoving your beliefs onto someone else or even the G-d that you "grew up with" etc. It is a very renewed and personal thing...I love that.

Thanks you guys for letting me vent, for the understanding, suggestions and hugs,
Yall are the best...and I don't know what I would do without the comfort and support of my CD friends.
LMS