update on son: found hospital/RTC but there's a hitch...

[recovering doormat]

(I posted this on the insurance/SSI board but wasn't sure how often it's visited:

Last time I posted our son had agreed to try a wilderness program in the Adirondacks, but my ex and I after much thought have decided that we should stick with our first choice, a hospital diagnostic program that steps down to an RTC. The judge knew and approved of it, and three kids in our district are currently placed there.

Our son has been accepted into the program but there's a problem, a big one: the facility requires that the insurance carrier precertify the child's stay, and the carrier won't precertify until we show up on their doorstep and they examine our child, then call the carrier's Care Advocate to see if they will precertify on medical necessity.

I'm just sick about this. Today we finally nailed down the school district to take responsibility for the $200/day educational costs that we would otherwise pay out of our own pocket, and now we might not get him in.

Or, we just bite the bullet and sign a responsibility contract and pay for the bulk of it ourselves.

I'm sure my ex is going to hesitate about that part. He is also already fretting that our son won't let us get him in the car to take him to PA when a bed is available (he has told us he won't go and since it's out of our state, the juvenile court can't help us with transport).

I was so happy that we were going to get this resolved, and now it looks like it's unraveling.

Have you ever heard of an insurance company not precertifying ahead of time, with a kids' physician?

[bran155]

I have a question. Is your son under the eyes of the Family Court? I ask this because my daughter has been in 3 rtcs, 2 of which were mandated by the Family Court System. Once they took over we automatically got a case worker through Social Services, thereafter everything that the court mandated was paid for by DSS and NY state. I am confused why you have to pay out of pocket for this program. The state in turn sued me for child support which I owe to this day, but they paid for everything up front.

Just thought that might help. Good luck.

[bran155]

You said the judge agreed, even if it is a Criminal Court judge, if they mandate him into a program doesn't that make them responsible for the costs of it?

[klmno]

That's kind of what I'm thinking- at one point, an out-of-state rtc was (barely) considered for my son. It's my understanding that the sending court arranges things with the "receiving" state. So, I would think that they really could transport him, but at least, they could transport him to state line and have a someone from that state transport him from there. Of course, that is not the same as a juvy judge allowing you to take responsibility for providing the treatment that he/she is ordering. That is what we are doing with my son. In that case, they are providing anything to help me.

It sounds like you need someone from the courts (judge or PO) to make sure your son understands- he either goes there with you, or he's going to be in juvy.

[recovering doormat]

I think what happened was that the court agreed to support our request that our son go to a rehab/dual dx/RTC facility rather than juvenile detention, but they are not taking away our parental authority and ordering it themselves. Our son's attorney said if we wanted the state to pay for it, we would have to give up our parental rights and it could take months for that to happen, and in the meantime he's getting worse.

I'll have to ask my ex about that, he arrange for the attorney and attended the last court hearing. I had to leave to take our oldest to her therapist by the time the judge was ready to see us.

[klmno]

My post was meant to say that the courts aren't providing anything. It sounds like your son's court order was similar to mine. It gives us some leeway to provide adequate treatment that we are comfortable with and we keep custody but it is up to us (the parents) to figure out a way to make that happen and fund it. I fought for this too and got it, but I'm not having a lot of success maintaining finances thru it. I don't know the details of your son's situation- why he's in legal trouble, the judges characteristics, etc., but it sounds like maybe you need to provide your son with an eye-opener- either he complies with what you say or it will get back into the courtroom. I don't know- I struggle with every decision I make regarding my son b/c we are now in this situation.

[recovering doormat]

Yeah, we're in a weird limbo-land of having some say in what is done with our son but no assurance that we're going to get any help tomake it happen. If my son refuses to get into the car to go to PA, I have no way of compelling him. We will be allowed one more chance to place him on our own, and if that fails too, he goes back before the judge, they snap on the cuffs, and off he goes to Bridgeport juvenile detention. A lovely place, I'm sure.

[susiestar]

I am sorry. It is a tough situation b/c in many places MOST of the placements must be court ordered.

If at all possible call the resource officer at your child's school and ask if they have a list of placements. It may give you other options - I got a whopping list with over 50 placements our therapist didn't even know about - and she had years and years of experience in this in our area!

If it helps, maybe get DHS involved to say it isn't safe for your dau to have your son at home? Not sure how well it would work - they told us they didn't "need" to be involved b/c we had already had our son removed, but if he came home then they would take my other 2 kids??

But I THINK others have gotten help this way.

Whatever happens, I hope and pray you get the approvals you need for the placement your son needs.

Susie

[Rotsne]

If the court allows it you can hire a private transport firm. After all we are not talking about that you imprison him just because you want to, it is court ordered. I have a link to a directory of transport firms here. Try to seek some who don't insist on handcuff, transport hood, pepperspray and tasers. They exist but if they based on the history of your insist on mechanical restraints then put them on him yourself. It is stressful enough for him to travel with strangers even if you are in a car behind him all the way.

It believe that the rate is about 1,000 dollars + various expenses.

[recovering doormat]

The court probation officer gave us the name of our city police department youth officer whom we could hire to accompany our son to PA if needed. He is a former Marine with a lot of experience with youth and I'd be okay with him -- no cuffs needed, he just has to look at you.

My happiness and relief at getting him admitted and getting the school district's cooperation is mitigated by learning that we are liable for thousands of dollars in court costs, including the home monitoring bracelet rental. I don't object to being responsible for the costs, it's just that no one in the system gave us a head's up that we'd be paying it or how much it would be.

I'm glad I can comehere and vent so that I don't overshare with family (not always simpatico) and don't let my frustration and anger get in the way of helping my son. Part of me wants to throttle him for the huge cost in emotion, energy and yes, cash, that his behavior has brought us.

I still dont' know who stole my jewelry, and I probably never will. But the insurance investigator came to the same conclusion I did, that it was an inside job, either by one of my two older children, or one of their acquaintances that they allowed in my home while I was away.