Well, SA is home although this maybe this should be on another forum.

[DDD]

GFG#1 ( previously known as PC/GFG) is living with a GFG who has some strong points. Of course being a GFG there are some unacceptable bad points. I'm "really trying" to accept that this young woman is aok and I totally KNOW she wants to spend her life with GFG#1. It's hard for me because we have been blessed to have upper middle class mores and she is "country" etc.

Recently there was a wedding invitation where an old friend of GFG#1's who is marrying a hispanic girl who is much loved by her family. The invitation was issued originally to me and GFG#1. The groom (a former GFG, lol) loves me because I baked him a pie for his eighteenth birthday and had GFG#1 deliver it to him. Nobody in his family acknowledged his birthday...just me.

Anyway the "invite" came addressed to me and GFG #1. As you guys know I am not at 100% and really don't want to do anything that I don't thave to do. SO, GFG#1 "accepted" the invite to the wedding and receiption for him and his gf. This evening is the wedding/receiption and GFG#1 won't wear "good" clothes because his gf doesn't have any.

I know this is strange and likely not "appropriate" but the reception is as close to "top drawer" as you can get in our community and PC/GFG or GFG#1 is not wearing "appropriate" clothes because his gf does not own more than one dress. It's bothering me that my kid is going to a wedding reception at the "top" place in our city and is not "dressing up" because his BP gf can't. I don't know whether I should be proud or conflicted. Life is weird. DDD

[Kathy813]

Why couldn't she wear the one dress that she does have?

[Nancy]

Isn't it awful that we have to suffer the embarassment for our gfg's because they don't seem to have any. And what a shame that he is allowing her to change what he really would do in any other circumstance.

Nancy

[SuZir]

I would feel conflicted too. Feeling embarrassed that my kid would be in that kind of event dressed inappropriately, feeling sad that he is 'bringing himself down' and feeling intensely proud that he is thinking of feelings of his loved one and trying to make her feel less awkward. Because I happen to exists in the capital of casual and downtoearth, I would probably end up mostly feeling the last.

[DaisyFace]

DDD--

Well, sounds like GFG1 has come up with what he feels is a logical solution.

Why not propose another logical solution? Why not have GFG1 take gf shopping for a new dress? Goodwill and other thrift stores sell really nice clothes for just a few dollars. GF should be able to come up with something really nice to wear for under $10...

[DDD]

Well this is the update. They went and his gf wore her one dress and he wore a collared tee, dress pants and did come pick up his black dress shoes before picking gf up from work. It could have been worse, lol. Although I genuinely am proud of his caring heart...truth be told, my "roots" were hollering GET DRESSED UP. You know raising GFG's really does alter your perception of what constitutes a good life.

His gf is rough around the edges and maybe below the edges a bit too. Today she told me "it was ok but I don't like fancy stuff". Ten minutes before GFG#1 told me "Mama the wedding was beautiful and reception was delightful." He described that the stretch Hummer, the fresh flowers, the various old friends that he saw, the choice of DJ, etc. etc. Then he added "I looked ok because there (then he laughed) some low life's there."

OMG...I kept a straight face talking with gf...she commented "Can you believe that they had the salads and ice water already on the tables before people even sat down?!" Oh, yeah, got to share one more (sure hope God is not sitting in judgement of me today for being inappropriate, lol) gf said "My prime rib wasn't medium and guess what they put some kind of porta mushrooms on top..yuk!" GFG#1 piped up and said there was a portabella gravy, Mama, and guess what else?? They had big tomatoes scooped out and filled with peppers etc. in a spicy sauce. It was great!" Gf said seriously "I didn't eat that stuff."

Serenity Prayer time. I have to remember to say a prayer of thanksgiving. GFG#1 rarely drinks at all. He has one or two socially every few weeks. I am grateful. He is faithful to gf who was "fixed" after her last child was born. She makes him laugh. She thinks GFGmom is nuts and accepts that he and I are tight as ticks. Could be worse. DDD

[Calamity Jane]

DDD,
I just love your gfg - mostly because of the way he talks to you and how much he loves you. He's very unpretentious and seems grateful by nature. I would be hard pressed to find anybody worthy of him!

[DDD]

LOL, I hope I'm not painting him as an angel. Otoh, we truly enjoy our time together and he totally is vocal and upfront that he loves his Mama! Thanks for the nice words. DDD

[AmericanGirl]

My best friend went to a VERY fancy wedding yesterday. Invitations clearly stated no children at the ceremony. She said people ignored that. You couldn't hear the vows because of someone's child crying.

So....I figure that what he is wearing may be the least of the happy couple's concerns.

But...my vote is for PROUD.

[Nancy]

Wow prime rib for a wedding, now that's fancy. Aww DDD your gfg does sound like he really loves you. Glad he got a little dressed up and you are right, gf could be worse. Thanks for sharing the wedding with us, I enjoy hearing about social events. I remember my MIL use to ask us all about an event we would go to, where was it, what did we have to eat, what did everyone wear, etc., etc.

Nancy