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Thread: Child Attending IEP Meetings... What Age?

  1. #1
    Battle Weary momslove's Avatar
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    Question Child Attending IEP Meetings... What Age?

    I have a quick question. At what age (if any) is a child required to be present at the IEP meeting? I was just reading at my state's dept. of education website, and it says "beginning at least by age 16"... so I assume by the age of 16, gfg *must* be in attendance, but until then, it is not a requirement?

    I ask because we have another IEP meeting coming up in a couple of weeks, and if it's possible, I'd prefer that gfg not be present this time. He attended the last meeting, and very clearly uncomfortable the entire time, and if he doesn't *need* to be there, I'd just as soon let him skip being there, ya know? He has already told me that he would rather not be there if he didn't have to be, as well.

    Am I right in assuming it will be ok to not make him attend?
    Me: Cranky and weary of the battle, but too stubborn to ever give up.
    DH: Truly a warrior dad of the finest caliber. He is my rock and my voice of reason when I get too frustrated with everything.
    PC 1: 19 yo m.
    PC 2: 17 yo m.
    GFG: 15 yo m. Dx: ADHD Rx: None. Extremely intelligent, has tested out at college level equivalent in multiple subjects. Big time reader who soaks up knowledge on any subject like a sponge, and always thirsts for more.


  2. #2
    CD Hall of Fame slsh's Avatar
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    Re: Child Attending IEP Meetings... What Age?

    IDEA states in it's definition of the IEP team:
    (vii) whenever appropriate, the child with a
    disability.

    It also states that a transition plan must be in an IEP that will be in effect when the child hits 16.
    In my experience, that's when they started having the kids be present for the *full* IEP mtg, although
    they did have gfg come earlier for parts of the IEP mtg.

    That "when appropriate" is a loophole. Personally, I'm not sure it was ever appropriate for gfg
    to be present at an IEP mtg because he just wasn't terribly connected to reality. It wasn't a
    battle I thought was worth fighting w/ the SD over.
    Sue, wife of the *almost* perfect man
    GFG: Adult son, RTC/TLP placement age 9 to 18, 24+ hospitalizations. BP II, prior drug use. Living at home since 06/01/2011 (first time in 11 years).
    PC's: Adult son w/ cerebral palsy and epilepsy; teen son; teen daughter.

    "Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."

  3. #3
    Battle Weary momslove's Avatar
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    Re: Child Attending IEP Meetings... What Age?

    Thank you slsh. I was hoping to spare him from attending this time at least, but after the morning I've had (3 calls from the school so far, and another due shortly), I don't know if it will even be an option, now. I have a feeling they are going to insist he be there, and I doubt I could say anything to change their mind if they press the issue.

    And right now, I'm too tired to care.
    Me: Cranky and weary of the battle, but too stubborn to ever give up.
    DH: Truly a warrior dad of the finest caliber. He is my rock and my voice of reason when I get too frustrated with everything.
    PC 1: 19 yo m.
    PC 2: 17 yo m.
    GFG: 15 yo m. Dx: ADHD Rx: None. Extremely intelligent, has tested out at college level equivalent in multiple subjects. Big time reader who soaks up knowledge on any subject like a sponge, and always thirsts for more.


  4. #4
    Moderator Sheila's Avatar
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    Re: Child Attending IEP Meetings... What Age?

    "When appropriate" is also your call -- you're 1/2 of the IEP team. AND remember, you are the parent! The school district's authority only extends so far.

    He needs to learn to advocate for himself, however, it can be very stressful on the child. I'm easing my gfg into it by allowing him to attend the beginning of the meeting. We ask him what he thinks he needs to be successful in school, for comments, anything he wants to discuss. Then he's out of there. NO WAY will they ever be allowed to beat up on my son in a meeting. And the first time an adult gets out of line IMO, he'll be out of there just cause MOM said so.
    gfg: 16 yrs, m, ADHD dx 2000; Anxiety; APD, SID, motor apraxia dxd Spring 2002; Recep/Expr Lang impairments resulting in Reading Comp Disorder dx 9/2003. PTSD; dx 12/2004. PDD-NOS; dx 2/2005. MDE's (5/2005) team dx: ADHD, Adj Disorder w/Mixed Disturbance of Emotions and Conduct (PTSD, anxiety), LD-NOS (multi lang disorders). Adderall XR.
    Me: aka Alisha Leigh, member since 5/2001

    God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

  5. #5
    Moderator JJJ's Avatar
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    Re: Child Attending IEP Meetings... What Age?

    Kanga refuses to attend her IEP meetigs and I've directed school staff to invite her but not force her.

    Eeyore attended his first IEP meeting last week and I don't think he got most of it but he did feel good that he got to talk a little.

    Neither parents nor child are ever REQUIRED to attend. The school is required to invite them and to work with the parents to set the meeting at a mutually available time.
    JJJ

    Kanga DD#1 GFG Schitzoaffective; out of our home since 2008 Thank God!

    Eeyore DS#1 age 16 PCish, PDD-Aspergers; Vyvanse 70mg, Trileptal 600mg, Celexa 40mg

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    Tigger DS#2 age 12, strong-willed indigo child; Autism & Epilepsy; Clonodine .2mg, Lamictal 300mg, Ativan 1mg

    http://www.conductdisorders.com/foru...evaluation-10/

  6. #6
    Wise Warrior
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    Re: Child Attending IEP Meetings... What Age?

    My state suggests that students attend beginning at age 14. Oldest boy did not have any real interest so starting in senior year, we had to drag him in. Gfg is now 15 and he has been asking to come for a couple of years; usually, we discuss things we don't want to talk about in front of him and then invite him in for the last portion. Next boy will soon be 14 and we are transitioning him back to district for HS in the fall so I will have him attend his next CSE so he can talk about the courses he wants to take.

  7. #7
    Moderator LittleDudesMom's Avatar
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    Re: Child Attending IEP Meetings... What Age?

    In our state the transition begins at 14. Kids can begin attending at that age. Gfg actually attended at the very beginning of the last meeting for the first time. His case worker wanted to get his thoughts on the the tapering of the one to one. He was only there for five minutes, and that would have been all he would have wanted to be there for!

    I agree that the definition of "when appropriate" really should be a parent's call, although at 16 I think many kids would be ready. Sheila's got the right plan - slowly phase them in seems to work best.

    Sharon
    Sharon a.k.a. "the foolish optimist" Mod in General & Healthful Living
    GFG: Son, 16, dx ADHD highly impulsive/combined in 5/02 and depression in 12/03 - 20 mg of vyvansel - undx'd anxiety and social issues - expert gamer, creative and funny, loves his family - great kid!
    PC: Daughter 21 - loves and protects her brother, in local college and in her own place - a joy!

    I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.
    -- Agatha Christie

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