Help quick, please!

[buddy]

They don't follow the BIP anyway, but the times that he's being aggressive it doesn't really matter because he's hit before the can intervene anyway

This is why a functional behavior analysis is part of the process. IT always seems to come out of the blue. The idea is to identify the triggers and patterns and then to use methods to avoid those triggers. IF he has troubles with transitions like that, then they could have gone thru the entire project visually. on a white board by him it could have said, first gather materials, 2. (listing steps to do the project one by one...) then last step clean up. I always had that on the lists I made for students. Then as each step is x'd off they visually see what will happen. IF the project is time limited then a visual timer should be used so he can see when it is going to be done. but if they find in the fba that a timer triggers anxiety they can use a count down like 5 mintues and then we are done class (showing a number 5 on a card, then 4, 3, 2, 1.... and sing a song or whatever routine they have for clean up. Things need to be made routine and predictable for gfg's.

NO they are not required to follow conduct code. The newest revision of IDEA specifically says that discipline for a child on an IEP can have individual consideration of the disability. That was put in specifically for kids like ours. They are either ignorant or choosing to ignore law and best practice. Look up online, discipline and IEP, functional behavior analysis etc. also look on t his site. I know I have and many others have posted links to fba and discipline codes. it is federal law.

look on writeslaw.com and also www.pacer.org for samples of fba and pbis and also about the rules.

so sorry the are doing this to you guys... yuck

[hersheyb79]

Hershey, are you sure your son isn't on the autism spectrum? The way he explodes when one activity ends and then being aggressive when touched to remove his are red flags to me. They need to work on an "activity transition" plan and other ways to get him out of the room. With gfg1, a count-down helps. Like "okay, 10 more minutes and then we have to clean up" and then 5 minutes later "okay, 5 more minutes and then we have to clean up"... get the idea? Gfg1 had REAL problems with abrupt endings to activities and being touched.....NOT ON YOUR LIFE.

If the behavior plan isn't working, then the TEAM needs to come up with something better. If they aren't following the plan and these things are happening, they are violating the law. Like I said before, I have soooo BTDT.

By the way, ISS is In School Suspension. That way he is being "punished" but not vacationing at home for 3 days.

More {{{{(((HUGS)))}}} going out to you.

We aren't sure, I suspect ASD...we are having a terrible time getting our insurance to cover anything for him...and to be 100% honest, we are WAY in the hole money wise as it is (we owe about $5000 in back taxes that we have 10 days to pay or they will start garnishing DH's wages + this summons I just got tonight...). I can't work because I'm getting called to the school EOD to pick up DS as a result of violent behavior, and we have a 19mo who has cerebral palsy, so daycare is horribly expensive. The school says they won't provide any more testing. So I don't know what to do to get him a good DX...

I'll be honest, I LOVE my husband with all my heart...but I have considered divorcing him so that I can get DH medicaid. I am that lost as to how to help him because we can't afford to help him.

At home we do like you're talking about. I've talked to the school about it, they say they'll do it, but I doubt they are. I know they are touching him, which they know sets him off. I know this because I was wrestling with DS this weekend and I grabbed his wrists and he said "that's how Mrs. H holds me at school." I about lost it. I understand they need to keep him and them safe, but I don't know how I feel about them restraining him, he is a kindergartner after all...

Buddy, he's had an FBA...it had a bunch of data on it, like meltdowns X% of the time, verbal outbursts X% of the time, etc...they are saying they aren't required to do anything else. They did another BASC on him, but our P-DR won't even look at it (seriously).

I am at a loss. I am mentally exhausted from this. I am ready to quit. It sounds like they are going to do ISS, DH talked to the principal and she said she'd keep him in her office and see if he can be transitioned into the classroom later in the week. I don't know how I feel about that...but it is better than him raging at home because he is not allowed to play video games or be on the computer or watch TV because he's suspended.

[hersheyb79]

When I say they aren't following the BIP...here are the things I mean:

A para is supposed to meet us at the door to the school at 8am to give him a slow start to his day. She is regualry 5-10 minutes late...which means we are left standing around in the cold waiting. So he usually has started melting down before things even start. He gets upset because he would rather be standing by the door to his class playing with his friends than standing around the front of the school with me.

I've asked for headphones for him to put on to block out noise when he gets overwhelmed. They said yes, never provided them. I provided some, they disappeared. I provided a 2nd pair, they disappeared again. I asked for another pair at the IEP meeting they said yes, that was a week ago...no headphones. Seriously, how hard is it. They don't even have computer lab anymore, so I know they have a bunch that aren't even being used.

His materials aren't being refreshed on a regular basis like his peers, even though he goes though them at a quicker pace. An example would be his reading books...they provide 3 that the child is supposed to go though and read at home, the parent fills out a sheet on the reading and sends the books back. When DD was in school, the books were replaced every time I sent the bag back. DS I have to call 3-4 times and each time I'm told that it's because he wouldn't read the books with the parent volunteer when he got to school.

This leads me to my last point...it is written into the BIP and IEP that he will never be in the care or instruction of a parent volunteer (there is an exception in there for a parent volunteer who is also employed by the school district, because one of his classmates is the child of another teacher in the school). So why is he doing his reading buddy work with a parent volunteer???

[TeDo]

Wow. I am sooooo sorry you and DS are having to go through all this. I understand the frustration about the sd AND the finances completely. I have been there on both fronts (financial is only getting worse here too). I really don't know what else to tell you. You NEED to get an advocate asap before things get any worse. Since he is only in Kindergarten, I don't see things with the sd getting any better unless someone pushes their backs to the walls.

An FBA is also supposed to list possible reasons WHY the behavior is happening, not just data showing how often. If the WHY isn't there, they didn't do an FBA. The school is not the one that does the diagnosing. You mention a "P-DR", is that a Child Psychiatrist? If he/she wouldn't look at a BASC then you need to find a different pdoc.

I wish there were some easy answers but unfortunately there aren't. All I DO know is that you can't fight the sd by yourself, at least not since they sound a LOT like the one here. I was on the verge of getting a lawyer because they wouldn't even listen to my advocate or their own ASD specialist. The reason we didn't is because they caused gfg1 to go into such a DEEP depression that I pulled him out (after the pdoc ordered him "Homebound" for the remainder of the school year. That's how bad it got.

You're being bullied by the school and your son is being set up to fail. But, without an accurate dx, I am afraid they are not going to cooperate. I really feel for you and wish I could be there to support you. I have learned how to be a b**** with the sd and put up a good fight. I would LOVE to fight one for someone else. This infuriates me to no end!!!!!!!!!

[buddy]

You can tell I am sure that TeDo and I have some really close experience to this. I have done the headphone thing too....this school always has them, so we are good now, but the last school lost some expensive ones, with the noise cancellation. They also lost those battery operated massage things he loves on his head and shoulders, and a squish vest that cost 75 dollars.

I finally gave them to the principal and told her to make sure the class had them and did not lose them. I told her I was holding her responsible for this because the fact was (and I did this in an IEP meeting so all witnessed it) THEY were supposed to supply these things because they are in the IEP. I even make them buy the gum now. If I feel nice I will buy extra but it is in the IEP and they are to do it.

At the school he is in now they have bought extra, the sp ed staff really are desperate to help him (and themselves I believe, lol) so they bought a new weighted vest and some other sensory equipment.

Yes, please get an advocate. They are breaking the law with your son and the worst part about it is not the right/wrong issue, it is that these things form who he is, how he views himself and it is just awful for him to have his self concept being affected by people who are not following his plan. Write down each day what is done wrong like that, the dates adn times of the para , the dates and times of the adult volunteers, what you give them and where it ends up....if lost what day did you find out, keep receipts. My lawyer also says to keep mileage. They are not doing thier job.

So here is a question if this doesn't get better fast? Is there an alternative school? A charter school? (they still ahve to follow IEP's but some are geared for kids with special challenges while not being a true special needs school, just more accepting and individualized). Is there a way to open enroll in another district, might mean you have to transport but they still would have to follow the IEP. I actually moved, there was no time to fight the fight I needed to go through, and as TeDo said, same for her, the wheels turn to slowly to allow our children to suffer through the fight sometimes.

[hersheyb79]

So here is a question if this doesn't get better fast? Is there an alternative school? A charter school? (they still ahve to follow IEP's but some are geared for kids with special challenges while not being a true special needs school, just more accepting and individualized). Is there a way to open enroll in another district, might mean you have to transport but they still would have to follow the IEP. I actually moved, there was no time to fight the fight I needed to go through, and as TeDo said, same for her, the wheels turn to slowly to allow our children to suffer through the fight sometimes.

They have talked about moving him to the school with the SIED class. At this point I'd like to try that because if he moves there they are required to transport him to and from school. If I move him out of district or to a charter school I have to transport, which means I will probably have to pull my DD out of school and move her too. I feel like I put a TON on her as it is, and I don't want her to have to move schools if she doesn't absolutely need to.

I understand what you are saying about them breaking the law...but I don't know how to get them to follow it. I am at the end of my rope. I ask for more testing they say that I am more than welcome to pay for whatever testing *I* feel he needs and other than that they have fulfilled their obligations under the law.

So he is doing ISS for 3 days. DH is going to bring him to school this week to see if that has any affect on his behaviors. Part of me just wants to get the move over with. I realize that it might not make a big difference, but at least it is a teacher who is certified to deal with a child with an emotional disability, where right now he is with a teacher who openly admits she doesn't have the qualifications to deal with him (that's what she said at the IEP meeting).

[TeDo]

Legally, they can't make you change his placement (to a special school) until they have exhausted their resources to accommodate him in THEIR setting. They can't skip "levels". In my case they tried to skip from a Level 1 (30 min a wk) to a Level 4 ("behavioral" school full-time). That is against the law. I'm not sure they've exhausted their options there but if you want to try the school, make them put ALL their justifications for the placement in writing, specifically stating specifically what he needs that they aren't ABLE to provide.

It is up to you but I definitely wouldn't let them off the hook too easily. It will make it easier for THEM if you try to bring him back. JMHO. I am one that is always prepared.

[buddy]

I hear you. I know, sometimes it is better to move to a different school if he is not being treated right and they are being openly defiant about trying to help and do the right thing. But this is why an advocate is so important. They DO know what forms to file etc. NO, they are not finished assessing. Any child who is in special education and has a behavior problem must have an FBA done. They are not to do just any old generic behavior plan or consequences. So, what I did was put it in writing and tada! all of a sudden it was done. Even if he goes to this school, they should not be guessing at what is going on...they will always guess that the kid is just being oppositional, stubborn, seeking attention etc. usually (research shows) that is nto the case. Usually there are underlying issues, sensory, motor, language, skill deficits, etc. And the child can't possibly know that, they just respond in a way to get their needs and frustrations met.

BTW, charter schools have the same obligations to provide special ed transport as any other school in your district. If it is in his IEP then you will still get it. If you open enroll, true you may have to drive BUT if you find this place is not right and they again show he is not making progress, they must provide a placement that will work and if you decide as a team (and you can lead that charge) to go out of district. Often they have independent contract districts that have specialty programs and cover several home districts around their area. Just so you know there MAY be options if this does not pan out.

I hope they do it quick too because this can't be good for his self esteem. Nor for your mental health! I totally feel you there.