I am trying to get a 504 approval from my child's public school

[richmanlopez]

Boy the advice I am receiving from all of you is precious! Thanks for that. I called the Department of Education in my state today and if I understand correctly the discipline conseqeunce were the same for the 504 as they were for the IEP. She said the difference is the the 504 is just accomodations and the IEP I have to first request an special educational evaluation which they can approve or not and if not them I can request a IEE evaluation to look further into this but if no direct academic problem is showing then this could be denied. This will not stop me from following your advice and going for it anyways.

I know that I am no different than any of you in terms of pain that suffering over this stuff. i do want to say though I am so depressed and stressed over the daily dissappointment that both my scholl and daughter and self have in her negative behavior at school and at home. She has zero friends and is so lonely and gets rejected regularly. I feel loney over this as well. The other parents will not have anything to do with me.

I am tempted to just pull her out and homeschool her myself but she is so difficult that I do not know how to properly educate her when she is defiant. My doct suggested I be her nuturer not her educator in this situation. I also am tempted to have her return to her private school where they tolerated her issues as other parents complained but the cost was tough for me and I was hoping to take advantage of the excellent free education and real world social environment that this public school offers. This is a tough one and outside this forum nobody else I have met can relate to me and talk this through. The few people in my world always just said I do not know what to suggest I am glad I am not in your shoes.

[keista]

You want to know something really awesome? Some states have scholarship programs for kids who have IEPs. These scholarships pay for a private school setting. BUT FIRST you have to get that public school IEP. I dont' know where you are, but my state has such scholarships and I know others do as well.

You might want to look into getting an advocate to help you with the IEP process if you start meeting any resistance.

I had resistance for a SIMPLE 504 plan. For my situation, that is all that was needed. If it changes and I need the IEP, I have access to an advocate (which is actually funded by the state but only has loyalty to the kids with disabilities - yup, not even to the parents. She's AWESOME)

[buddy]

What I hope for you is that once you have handle on what is going on with her you will end up in a place where you will meet other parents with whom you can relate. I know it is really disappointing when people in your faith community actually let us down. I wish people could see that these little ones are suffering. Children do not generally do things that cause people to be upset with them throughout the day for no reason. And although we always have to advocate and sometimes fight for our kids, in my experience it is well worth it. There are many great people out there and they went into the business of helping kids just like yours. You just need to find them. One public school is not every public school. Actually go around and see schools and ask what do you guys do with a child who has x,y z challenges? I moved into our school district because the one I lived in was great for most kids but not a good match for my son. I am in a district with many resources now and the special ed end of things is mostly amazing. (I am in huge battles with administration though, like I said you will always have to be on top of things). It is a two day break from our school and my son's teacher called me today to tell me she was just worried about him. When he went into the hospital one time she called me on a sunday and brought a huge pack of stuff for him for his stay there. Fun stuff, not homework! There are good ones out there.

As for the grief and lonliness, I think we all can relate to that. It is a hard road. We hold tightly onto the successes we have. Others can't possibly understand fully. Your daughter sounds like a great kid and she is still the gifted and talented kid you always thougth she was, just has some other issues. I have 4 close friends in the special needs world who started out finding their kids were gifted and ended up also having their kids in an Autism program...each one has Aspergers...each one very very different in their challenges and gifts. The label doesn't define them, it just allowed them to be in a place where they got accomodations and could work on the talents they have. I have no idea what your daughter is going to end up being educated under (what category etc.) or what dx she will end up with in the medical setting, but use it to get her services and medication (if needed) and to help understand her learning style, but always remember she is a kid first....YOUR kid, still the same kid you loved from the start. It is normal to grieve the loss of your first dream for her, you will now have new dreams. Just my thoughts, smile....

[richmanlopez]

I spoke to a advocate or I should said Parent Information Network for some advice and you all were so right. I need to go for the IEP. It is amazing to have a forum like this to help change the future of my child. I would have never known about this IEP if it were not for you. Muchas Gracias. The lady is going to send me a sample request letter for the IEP and says I need to write it to my Special Education person representing the district office. I almost decided not to go for it because her school told me it only works if the impairments are academic. Well as you stated it qualifys her for any social, emotional or behavioral issue as well. Hats off to this group once again. I will post my letter to you all first before I send it out. Bye for now :-)

[buddy]

de nada! ( dont say anything else, my highschool spanish is very rusty...can speak fluent ASL to you though! haha)

[Marcie Mac]

Don't forget to send it Certified Mail or else you will take the chance that "no one ever received anything" Once they sign that certified receipt, the clock starts officially ticking and they only have so much time to start the process.

Not saying your school district would even DO somthing like that, but unfortunately, for as long as I have been a member here, I could count on maybe one hand who's SD did the right thing. And if you can afford a Parent Advocate to go with you, I would highly suggest that. I found the whole process without one made me wanna claw at my face (and theirs).

Marcie