Let it all hang out! Tell your most useless pdoc advice!

[MidwestMom]

That post about "will you listen?" inspired me. We have all received clueless advice? What was the worst advice you ever received for your gfg?

This isn't the only bad advice I got, but it's one of the silliest bits.

My son, when he was a toddler, would NOT go to time out. He'd bite us, kick, scream and, if he tried to leave him there (which was another of his advice--just walk away ) my two year old would pick up the big chair and throw it across the room with rage-like strength. When we asked the tdoc about it he said, "He knows you are a soft touch. You need to get tough with him. Next time he does that, kneel to his level, hold both his hands and make him look you in the eyes, then say 'You *will* take your time out." Our voices were supposed to be very calm. Then we were to put the thrown chair back and he would then sit on it and take the timeout since we had "taken control" and had been calm.

Guess how THAT turned out???? Broken chair anyone? (We found a new therapist).

[smallworld]

The most useless advice we've recieved:

"He'll grow out of it."

Guess what? He'll be 16 in May, and he still hasn't grown out of it.

[house of cards]

That Major was heading for conduct disorder and antisocial personality disorder, said when he was 8 or 9.

[aeroeng]

Oh where to begin? Actually I will tell a story not about my gfg but my oldest PC. At 18 months he was very independent and very active. We were on a field trip through a pumpkin farm. Another mother kept telling me that the reason he keeps running a way was because he knew I would keep chasing him. And, that if I would stop going after him he would stop running. She had no clue that different kids act differently. This kept on and on and on and on... So finally (and just to shut her up), I said, "OK lets try your experiment".

She said to just let him go.

I did, and he ran down the trail.

She said, "Now any moment he will stop, turn back and realize you did not follow. Then he will come back." He kept running.

Finally he did start slowing down. She said, "He went farther then I expected, but you will see, now he will come back".

He realized that there was no way in Gods green earth that I could catch him from that distance, took a 90 degree turn and started running through the strawberry patch. Arms flapping, wind in his hair. Free as a bird.

She said, "I think you should go and get him." and that was the last thing she said.

[TerryJ2]

Good one, aerong.

Our pediatrician shouted over the chaos of gfg, as gfg was climbing over him, yanking on his tie, and pulling off his glasses: "HE'S JUST A BOY! WE HAD THREE OF THEM. JUST HAVE A GLASS OF WINE!"
"What if a glass of wine doesn't work?"
"DRINK THE WHOLE BOTTLE!"

[Andy]

I was having behavioral issues with PC when she was 10 years old. Took her to a tdoc who confessed that he didn't work with kids and would refer us on if we still needed help after the two "free" sessions through my work. He basically told us to let PC set the schedule for the night to let her do whatever she wants - to tell me when to put the baby to bed!

I took this info to our daycare provider who agreed with me that you do not let the child set the household schedules. I can work with her to get her input but I am the adult and know best about bedtime.

I keep thinking that this guy must be used to working with adults who need encouragment to take on responsibilities. Example, "You need to set a schedule for the night and stick to it." However, you don't tell a child that they get to make the rules of the house to be whatever they want!

[TerryJ2]

Andy, Nintendo and pizza for everyone!!!!

[klmno]

This was a pdoc for myself- the only time I ever went to one for myself, when I was about 21yo b/c I was having trouble finding a tdoc who was doing any good. I got the standard questions for a few mins. about things like "did I know what it meant if someone said 'up a creek without a paddle' ". The pdoc said She saw nothing wrong with me and asked what kinds of issues I was having. I tried to explain as briefly as possible, then starting venting about the people in the system not helping and "not getting it" and me not trusting their judgement (yes, this has been a problem several times in my life LOL!)

So, at the end of my 15 min appt, pdoc said I had social phobia and handed me a script for something. That was it. I don't know what the script was for- it hit the trash can as soon as I walked out of the office.

[maril]

Some time ago, during a visit to GFG's doc, the session was started with a question to my son about an issue he was having -- an issue that didn't sound like it "fit" to me. I looked at the chart on the desk, and what do you know, it was another patient's chart doc was reading from and assuming that person to be my son. Any advice would have been useless, since it wasn't even the right person!

[crazymama30]

My fave, from a nurse practicioner (sp) who "specialized" in ADHD(no special training, just stated he specialized because he had it) was to let gfg stay up as long as he wants to and wake when he wants to. His body would regulate itself. What ever. We ditched him, and then saw the doc who supervised him, who wanted me to sprinkle out 1/4 of a 20mg cap of focalin. WHY???? They make 5mg. Once I got home and thought about it, I called the office and told them I was not comfortable doing that. They said I could call the pharmacy and the pharmacy would tell me how to do it. I said no. I told them I would bring the complete scrip back and they could give me 5mg. They said the doc would not do it, I would have to wait untill my next appt. I said fine, but I am not giving this med this way. I was on the waiting list for current pdoc then and they called before we had to go back to the doc from he!!. I will not even step foot in the other one's office if you paid me.