GFG Baker Acted himself!

[DDD]

GFGmom shared "the secret" with PC/GFG yesterday. She told PC/GFG that GFG (now 19)
didn't want me to know about it "because I might blame his Mom". She has threatened to Baker Act him for years...every time he loses his cool which happens when he doesn't have or take his meds. I guess he called her bluff.

As usual I could type pages and pages of GFGmom behaviors that have halted his upward
progress since she reclaimed him over a year ago. In a nutshell, though, she has used his insecurities to tighten the bond between them (and against us) in almost every way possible. He has not had any therapy in over a year, often doesn't get his meds at refill time, usually is left to "be an adult and take his meds on time"...and, of course, she borrows his disabiity funds "to keep the roof over their heads".

I'm saddened by this new crisis. I'm beyond angry with GFGmom. Now, I guess, I have to "pretend" I don't know anything. It makes me sick. DDD

[Suz]

I am sad for you and gfg, DDD.

Honestly, if there was a contest for "WORST MOM OF THE CENTURY", your gfg daughter would rank right up there.

sigh.

What happens after someone Baker Acts themself?

Hugs,
Suz

[tiredmommy]

{{{Hugs}}} I really hope Gfg can break free of his mother.

[DDD]

Thanks, guys. Instead of someone calling the police to say a persion "is a danger to themselves or others"...the person calls the police and says the same thing. Evidently he said he wanted to kill himself or someone else. Sigh!

Sad to say GFGmom doesn't even know his multiple Dx's and probably doesn't remember what meds he is on. All of that and
he wants to protect her. Bummer!

There is no mental health facility in our County so the person gets taken to the police station and then is transported about an hour away for a couple of days. PC/GFG told me seriously "Mom
has driven to visit with him each day." How admirable, huh? DDD

[Star*]

I'm convinced your daughter and my x - relatives. There had to be a mix up at the hospital - you took the wrong baby home.

[Dammit Janet]

Sheesh. No words.

[KTMom91]

Wow...what happens with him now?

[DDD]

Good question, KTM. I imagine "what happens now?" is that he will continue to live with GFGmom. She has been asking
him to share his disability with "the family" and is charging him 1/4 of the household expenses to live with them. Sigh!

He desperately wants his Mom to be devoted to his well being and like any emotionally abusive situation it takes alot of strength to break free. It also takes support and she has convinced him that we are "too old" and "too controlling" for him to turn to us. It's a bit like a sick movie.

The Hospital will/has recommended him to the only local Pdoc. Two weeks ago I called that Pdoc's office to try and get an appointment for him and was told their practice is closed. I am praying that he will be accepted on the basis of their recommendation. Only time will tell. Meanwhile he has no one to share with and nobody to encourage him to take steps forward. I'll post if there is any news. DDD

[Nomad]

In a certain way, it is good that gfg baker acted himself. I know someone w/ bipolar disorder who actually does fairly well working pt and is on disability. From time to time she does this. She does this when she feels suicidal and it keeps her safe. Does your grandson's mother the designated payee for him? When he is feeling better, perhaps you can explain to him that age 19, he has the right to live where he wants to live, etc. Perhaps he can call the disability office and find out what his rights are and see if any changes can be made. Are you able to communicate with him at all? As long as she is not taking advantage of the situation (and it sounds like there is a big question there), it might be reasonable for her to ask for a small amount of money in terms of rent. (He is living there, right???) However, he should not have to share his disability check in any other way. And of course, if he isn't living with his mother, rent money shouldn't be up for discussion either. If you are open to it, you can always provide a standing offer for him to live with you or for you to help him find a place to live and assistance in looking for low cost therapy, etc. I am so sorry about these ongoing difficulties. It sounds really hard.

[DDD]

He is the payee, Nomad. It goes straight into his checking account but his Mom is on the account with him. She tells him that she wants him out of her house. Then, each month, she tells him that there are bills to be paid to keep the household going....and since he isn't out on his own, he should help her. Yikes!

DH and I had "a plan" that GFGmom OK'd. As of March lst
he and DH would have an account, would meet each week to review his expenses and his savings toward getting his own place. I picked up applications for subsidized housing and showed him how easily he could afford his own place.
All was well until (you guessed it!) GFGmom told me that he was afraid to be on his own. She's a piece of work! DDD